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90% sure our rehearsal and rehearsal dinner are cancelled... bad idea?

peaches178peaches178
500 Comments
in New Jersey
Due to all of the craziness going on with my family, FI and I are considering not doing a rehearsal or rehearsal dinner.  Plus, we feel like the rehearsal will be a waste of time because our officiant already told us that he'll take care of everything on the day of the wedding and that there's no need to stress. 

Do you think this is a bad idea?  Did anyone else not do a rehearsal?  Did you regret it?

PS - We don't have too many people involved in the ceremony... just 2 girls on my side, 3 guys on his side, 2 ushers, and 3 readers.
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Re: 90% sure our rehearsal and rehearsal dinner are cancelled... bad idea?

  • smw42smw42 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Is everything okay? I must have missed a post somewhere....
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  • kasabbykasabby
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I was in a wedding a few years ago and we didn't do a rehearsal. It was a pretty simple ceremony so there was really no need. I think that you are fine without one.
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  • GiaspoGiaspo member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    We had family stuff too and considered canceling our dinner. Our officiant (who I think is yours too) said the same thing, so no need for a rehearsal. In the end, we decided to do a more casual dinner because the bridal party sides don't know each other and are coming in from out of town (and it might be friends-only). But if it wasn't for that we probably would've skipped it. I think it's OK unless you and your FI really want it. You can hang with your BP anyway. I'm sorry you have this added stress!
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  • peaches178peaches178
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_90-sure-rehearsal-cancelled-bad-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f78157e8-adc5-440c-ada1-61da37a73640Post:94d55f04-17e6-4011-8c7d-be720ad03374">Re: 90% sure our rehearsal and rehearsal dinner are cancelled... bad idea?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is everything okay? I must have missed a post somewhere....
    Posted by smw42[/QUOTE]
    Yeah... just drama within my family and it's extending into the wedding party.
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  • peaches178peaches178
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_90-sure-rehearsal-cancelled-bad-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f78157e8-adc5-440c-ada1-61da37a73640Post:3fad5fe4-0546-4422-98e3-a06c0a622f4f">Re: 90% sure our rehearsal and rehearsal dinner are cancelled... bad idea?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We had family stuff too and considered canceling our dinner. Our officiant (who I think is yours too) said the same thing, so no need for a rehearsal. In the end, we decided to do a more casual dinner because the bridal party sides don't know each other and are coming in from out of town (and it might be friends-only). But if it wasn't for that we probably would've skipped it. I think it's OK unless you and your FI really want it. You can hang with your BP anyway. I'm sorry you have this added stress!
    Posted by Giaspo[/QUOTE]
    Are you still going to do a rehearsal or just the dinner?
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  • cutiepie12702cutiepie12702
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am doing a "rehearsal dinner" but without a real rehearsal. There's another wedding going on at my venue the night before, plus our officiants don't do rehearsals - so I'm just having the dinner because I wanted to give everyone their gifts at that time. I made up my own outline that includes as many details I could think of (names of wedding party, who walks with who, what time hair, make-up, breakfast, pictures, etc. are at, and where people stand at the ceremony, etc.). I'm going to just read over it at the dinner and then hand out copies to everyone. If I wasn't doing the dinner I'd probably just email it to everyone so that way everyone has an idea of what to expect the day of. I was in a wedding without a rehearsal, and when we got to the ceremony we didn't know how we should walk-in but it still went perfectly fine. If we would have known how to walk-in ahead of time it would have been perfect. I think you can skip it - but I'd just make sure everyone knows what time they need to show up the day of the wedding and make sure you and FI both know about all the details so you can direct everyone as needed.
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  • NJhousewife22NJhousewife22 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Our officiant (also yours too I think lol) basically has walked us through the whole thing a few times so I think you'd be fine without one.  We're doing one because we are adding some Philipino traditions that involve some additional people and we feel like in our case having everyone together for a practice run would be a good idea. 

    Definitely do something special the night before, for yourself and FI...even if you two just do dinner! SO sorry other people are ruining your plans! 

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  • GiaspoGiaspo member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    We are just doing dinner. The wedding coordinator person said she'd walk us through everything the day of.
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  • LADY324LADY324
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    My friend did not have a rehearsal about 30 minutes before the guests came we just all walked through it really quick.  That was fine :) 
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  • rutgersgirl82rutgersgirl82
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    we weren't able to have a church rehearsal (everyone's from out of town, including the priest, and the church wasn't available the day we needed it) and that part worked out just fine..... we still had a dinner, but we were fine without the church run-through. I wouldn't sweat not having it
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  • sgdc2011sgdc2011 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_90-sure-rehearsal-cancelled-bad-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f78157e8-adc5-440c-ada1-61da37a73640Post:690e0fb9-ed92-4ed4-8b20-463181a85c1c">Re: 90% sure our rehearsal and rehearsal dinner are cancelled... bad idea?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are just doing dinner. The wedding coordinator person said she'd walk us through everything the day of.
    Posted by Giaspo[/QUOTE]

    Same here.
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  • peaches178peaches178
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Great!  Thank you so much ladies!  :-)
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  • USER876USER876
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would have it....better to make people deal with stuff the day before and sort it out than to keep it bottled up and ruin your wedding.  It's a fun memorable time too...even if you just do the dinner
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  • jchristeljchristel member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_90-sure-rehearsal-cancelled-bad-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f78157e8-adc5-440c-ada1-61da37a73640Post:165748ee-8f68-4df5-9a21-3af90a76a87d">Re: 90% sure our rehearsal and rehearsal dinner are cancelled... bad idea?</a>:
    [QUOTE]My friend did not have a rehearsal about 30 minutes before the guests came we just all walked through it really quick.  That was fine :) 
    Posted by LADY324[/QUOTE]

    <div>That's what we did.  DH and I had more of a "happy hour" kind of thing the night before with anyone from out of town and anyone local.  We reserved a private patio at a restaurant/bar across the street from our hotel & ran a tab and fed everyone appetizers. It was totally casual and relaxing, it worked out nicely.  We purposely didn't include anyone that could potentially cause drama.  :)</div>
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  • NJgurl19NJgurl19 member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I think it helps, but its not a mess.
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  • KH 2012KH 2012
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    who is your wedding officiant? i def dotn think the rehearsal is nesecary for thing to go smoothly!!!
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  • peaches178peaches178
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_90-sure-rehearsal-cancelled-bad-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f78157e8-adc5-440c-ada1-61da37a73640Post:fe781b5d-9d6c-4bd4-82e4-70c887827896">Re: 90% sure our rehearsal and rehearsal dinner are cancelled... bad idea?</a>:
    [QUOTE]who is your wedding officiant? i def dotn think the rehearsal is nesecary for thing to go smoothly!!!
    Posted by KH 2012[/QUOTE]
    Bishop George Lucey.  He used to be a priest with the Roman Catholic Church but left because he disagreed with their handling of various issues.  He's now part of the American National Catholic Church... just a more modern and liberal version of the Roman Catholics.
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  • KH 2012KH 2012
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    ok thanks for the info!!!!
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  • peaches178peaches178
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    NP!  Let me know if you want information about the church and/or how to contact him.  Quite a few girls on this board are using him (as I'm sure you could tell from this thread, haha).
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