Why have a bridal party?

Re: Why have a bridal party?

• Simply Fated member

  

  July 2012

  The point of a bridal party is to honor people as you take another step in your life.

  Anything else involved, like going to dress fittings or setting up the favors, is just icing on the cake. It isn't mandatory for bridal party members to do any of these things.

  
  

  If you need help planning, this is what your FI should be helping you with. A wedding co-ordinator might also work in your case, if you need extra help, since you don't live near your venue.

  
  

   You can still get married without a bridal party, of course lol.

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• Summer2011Bride member

  

  July 2012

  People in your WP are your nearest and dearest who you want to stand up with you as you marry your FI. They should be important people in your life. Having said that, no one HAS to have a WP and it's totally fine not to.
  
  However, you shouldn't pick them based on their proximity to you and how much they can help you plan. Like PP said, that's what your FI is for since it's his wedding too. If you don't want a WP, you absolutely don't have to have one, but please don't NOT ask them just because you feel they can't help enough.

  
  
  
  
  

  Report0 Reply
• Miss_2010

  

  July 2012

  They are closest friends and family who you would like to have a part in your day.  They do not have any requirement to help you with any wedding planning. 
  
  Having said that, if you don't want a formal bridal party, that is ok too.  I was the only person standing in a wedding last year, the wedding was small and a justice of peace wedding.  It was nice.  And what was better...the bride has less opinions...only one person present with estrogen, lol.  In my next life I will do the same!
  
  Happy planning 

  
  My BFP Chart || Ovulation Calendar #1 BFP May 24/2012 - EDD Jan 21/2013 - M/C May 31/2012 #2 BFP Feb 5/2013 - EDD Oct 16/2013

  Report0 Reply
• zitiqueen member

  

  July 2012

  That's what I asked myself. So I didn't have one. What a relief, especially after reading these boards.

  Report0 Reply
• brinonny

  

  July 2012

  Oh let me clarify, it's not that I expect them to help me plan, it's that planning things like their dresses and whatnot is going to be difficult. 

  I think the issue actually is that since I've moved away, while I felt close to these ladies I'm not actually all that close to them anymore. We see each other once every couple of years and things are great, but if I'm not visiting their state or initiating contact then our relationship is limited to facebook posts. So they're my best friends when I'm there, and when I'm not we all go on with our lives.

  Report0 Reply
• EK2013 member

  

  July 2012 edited July 2012

  I have (only) two out-of-state bridesmaids. They were my best friends for most of college. I've stayed in better touch with one than the other, but every time I see them I am thankful that we've continued our friendship. I decided to ask them to be my attendants because I realized that I was coming up with really weird ideas for how to include them without calling them "bridesmaids," and I realized (aside from being nervous about hurting other friends' feelings) I had no reason not to have them as my bridesmaids. Having a wedding party has been no hassle. My girls are terrific. I'm glad they'll be standing near me on my big day.

  
  

  ETA: Here's how we planned my girls' dresses:

  One lady (A) lives very close to a major East Coast metropolitan area, and one (Z) lives near a smaller city. So, I researched what boutiques and stores were near the smaller city, came up with a designer I generally liked that was available in that city (Alfred Angelo) and the fabric and length I wanted. I asked Z to go on a dress-hunting mission to see what she liked from that designer/fabric/length (I asked Z to go because I knew she would be more picky about the dresses--both of these girls are gorgeous and look good in everything, lucky ducks). Z sent pictures of 9ish dresses with commentary, A sent back her 4 favorites, and I loved one of the dresses they both liked. They each ordered the dress from a store local to them, and we never met in person this whole time.

  
  

  Have I seen their dresses yet? Not in person. Do I think they're going to look amazing? Absolutely. Do I honestly believe they might wear the dresses again? Well, we are at that age where we have lots of weddings on the horizon....

  Report0 Reply
• aerinpegadrak member

  

  July 2012

  My girls were mostly out of town, so I just told them to wear any black dress.  No fuss, no muss.  Others have done the dress shopping when everyone's in town, or picked a national chain or common designer and had them try on and select dresses locally.
  
  But if there's really no one that you feel close to, then it's fine not to have attendants.  You can get around the other complications if you really want them, but if you don't want them, don't bother.

  This is a neglected planning bio.
  This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
  
  
  Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284

  Report0 Reply
• brinonny

  

  July 2012

  Thanks ladies, you've been super helpful! I just need to decide 1) if I want to have bridesmaids and 2) how much I care about what they wear.

  Report0 Reply
• casyme member

  

  July 2012

  I support having no bridesmaids.  At this point, my friends and I are all in our mid to late 30s.  We've been bridesmaids before, and realized that it's actually not that fun.  Your besties are going to be at your wedding regardless of whether there's a bridal party, so why add the stress of finding dresses that everyone likes, the cost they'll have to endure, the stress of being "on call" for a year as a bridesmaid, having to plan multiple pre-wedding parties, possibly dealing with interfamily drama, etc.?  It's not worth it.  There have been so many times during my wedding planning process that I've thought "THANK GOD I don't have other b*tches to deal with, one (me) is enough!"
  
  Plus, you can include your besties in wedding planning all you want, and they will likely volunteer!  But all without the extra consequences of the B-word (bridesmaid).

  Report0 Reply
• kikirst33 member

  

  July 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_why-have-a-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:51c6a542-47c3-4cd7-9d34-a36b94fdc659Post:e1b3f55f-b44a-4587-bcc7-9c62b3e4750c">Re: Why have a bridal party?</a>:
  [QUOTE]Oh let me clarify, it's not that I expect them to help me plan,<strong> it's that planning things like their dresses and whatnot is going to be difficult</strong>.  I think the issue actually is that since I've moved away, while I felt close to these ladies I'm not actually all that close to them anymore. We see each other once every couple of years and things are great, but if I'm not visiting their state or initiating contact then our relationship is limited to facebook posts. So they're my best friends when I'm there, and when I'm not we all go on with our lives.
  Posted by brinonny[/QUOTE]<div>
  </div><div>I am having on a MOH and told her to go out and buy or use a black dress she already has in her closet.  (Our colors are black,white and red).   She bought 7 dresses, gave me a fashion show and decided on one of them.  I left it up to her to decide what she liked best.  It can be easy if you let it be. 
  
  </div>

  

  Report0 Reply