Not Engaged Yet

Gemvara.com, general gemstone engagement ring advice?

Hello all! I'm new here, clearly. I hope this isn't a repeat inquiry, but I've been lurking for a few days and haven't seen this specific question come up in the back log. But if it has and I'm forcing you to repeat yourselves, I'll happily cower and beg for mercy. 

A little (lot) background: My SO and I consider ourselves NEY. We're generally laid back, but I do care about having a ring and when it's on my finger, we'll pop the champagne and make announcements. I know for a lot of people this means that we ARE engaged, but for us personally that is not the terminology we use at this point. We have a life commitment whether we ever actually get married or not -- so for us, 'engagement' literally refers to the ceremony planning. Marriage is valuable to me, but it's not the end all be all that defines my relationship. Hope that's a kosher POV here.

So basically, after the initial "whoa, we're seriously maybe going to do the whole wedding thing" convo with my SO, we decided on a few things: 1) I would have equal if not more input on the ring selection, 2) we want a guaranteed reputable jeweler (i.e., no eBay or Etsy; he thinks they aren't vetted well enough), and 3) no white diamonds. This is more of a taste issue than ethical qualms since I know there are ways to get eco sourced stones. 

As of now, we are actively searching for a ring, though we expect it to take at least a few months since it's a large purchase. We have the stone narrowed down to a pink sapphire, a blue sapphire, or a black diamond. I would also like a rose gold band, but that's less important. I would prefer to spend <$2500, but he is insisting on broadening it to <$4000 (within our price range, no debt worries, but still a little high for me. He says I'm going to wear it daily and a higher cost ring will probably take that usage more.) 

Actual question:  The point of this blather is to ask if anyone here is familiar with Gemvara.com? 

We've had fun creating different looks and it's the best I've found in terms of having pure gemstones (as opposed to, say, a blue sapphire surrounded by white diamonds...fine for others, but again, not my taste). Also, a lot of my favorites are well within MY ideal price range, which is fantastic. 

However, like my SO is concerned about eBay/Etsy, I'm concerned about the internet in general. As much as I love these rings (seriously, some of them I totally LOVE), I don't want to end up with poor quality, a poor fit, etc. I'm also nervous that the online images won't translate to the real thing.

Anyone have positive reviews/horror stories? Or general advice for buying/creating/welding/conjuring a non-white diamond ring?

Thanks so much in advance!

Re: Gemvara.com, general gemstone engagement ring advice?

  • CASK85CASK85 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    I have not heard of that website. I do have a non-diamond engagement ring (a blue sapphire) that my husband purchased at a small local jeweler. You should most certainly go and try on rings somewhere, even if you don't plan to buy locally (although I'd encourage that). Things look differently on your hand and in person that online. As for buying things online, I'd have reservations, but if a site has a clear return policy, then you can probably feel safe buying from them. I bought my wedding band (Benchmark) from Amazon.com with no problems. Just my 2 cents. 
  • BF and I looked at that site when we were first looking at engagement rings but ended up feeling like we would be happier getting a ring through an etsy seller or small local jeweler.

    Have you looked at having a ring custom made? It sounds like you and your BF might be more comfortable working with someone on a ring rather than trying to do this over the internet.


  • RWS2011RWS2011 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    We also designed my non-diamond engagement ring through a local jeweler.  it was great because I got to try on a lot of settings and when I found one that was perfect, I just told them the stones I wanted.  They ordered them, made the ring, and it was on my hand less than a month later!  If you are thinking gemstone, I have been told that you want to stick with Sapphire or anything harder on the Mohs scale, otherwise, your ring might show greater wear over time.

    Depending on the cut of the stone, if you go the black diamond route, your SO is right about upping the budget.  Some styles don't look that great until you get to a larger carat size.  Sapphires would be much cheaper.

    We chose a moissanite center stone, with purple lab created sapphires as side stones.  The wedding band also has 5 small moissanite stones in it.  It was affordable and I love the set we designed together!  Good luck!
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  • Thanks for all the quick replies! It looks like we'll actually have to get our lazy butts off to a jeweler. There is something tempting about clicking a link and being done though... (I'm awful)

    I've been telling SO that Etsy shouldn't be discounted, but he won't budge. So we'll see! I probably just need to present him with more research and evidence.

    I'm sure our metropolitan area will have unique options too. And I'm probably being a baby about the 'absolutely NO white diamonds' hardline. What really matters is finding a beautiful ring that I actually want to wear every day!

    Are local jewelers generally receptive to custom designs? Would it be significantly more expensive to do so or does it ultimately come down to cost of materials? Honestly, the priciest piece of jewelry I currently own came from a department store, so I'm not used to the world of 'fine jewelry' if you will!
  • Lisa, where in relation to DC are you?  I may have some suggestions...
    I french with my man
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  • I haven't heard of Gemvara, but there are likely local jewelers in your area open to custom work. I bought an "off the shelf" ring, but my jeweler would have made something custom if I wanted.

    My coworker got a sapphire ring from Brilliant Earth. They also do custom work.
    http://www.brilliantearth.com/

  • I tried to post this earlier, but my ring is from Brilliant Earth.  It's a pretty good company and still online.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_gemvaracom-general-gemstone-engagement-ring-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:100cf059-55e3-45cf-b2be-cf3bad3cbd7dPost:b12b7077-7700-4627-bce7-c501b005ba47">Re: Gemvara.com, general gemstone engagement ring advice?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks for all the quick replies! It looks like we'll actually have to get our lazy butts off to a jeweler. There is something tempting about clicking a link and being done though... (I'm awful) I've been telling SO that Etsy shouldn't be discounted, but he won't budge. So we'll see! I probably just need to present him with more research and evidence. I'm sure our metropolitan area will have unique options too. And I'm probably being a baby about the 'absolutely NO white diamonds' hardline. What really matters is finding a beautiful ring that I actually want to wear every day! Are local jewelers generally receptive to custom designs? Would it be significantly more expensive to do so or does it ultimately come down to cost of materials? Honestly, the priciest piece of jewelry I currently own came from a department store, so I'm not used to the world of 'fine jewelry' if you will!
    Posted by LisaFreedom[/QUOTE]

    Most local jewelers we met were more than happy to custom design.  I kept hearing things like "if you don't see anything you like, we can always create something just for you".

    I did end up getting a custom design, and my setting was really reasonably priced.  Whether or not you pay more depends on what you're comparing it to.  If you're looking at a brand name setting (Ritani, Tacori, Kirk Kara, Scott Kay, Neil Lane...  the list goes on), keep in mind that the store's price of the ring includes the money they have to pass on to the designer, whereas with a custom ring, the store keeps a higher percentage of the money you pay, so custom designs are often cheaper.

    My setting includes tiny moissanites in the band and genuine canary diamonds around the halo, and it cost about $1500.  The center stone was about another 1K.  Hope that helps.

    Oh, also, I saw that you mentioned black diamonds...  have you seen one in person?  If not, check it out before you decide.  I feel like black diamonds are a lot better in theory than in reality.  In reality, they're just highly-included (aka poor quality) diamonds.
  • My ring is in the setting proccess and is coming from a place called krikawa. We've had some bumps in this proccess(none of them their fault) but they have exceeded our expectations with honesty and wonderful customer service. I highly reccomend them. They will send stones to you for inspection from their inventory(which is vast in sapphires, diamonds, and spinels) with a deposit on them, metals as well. If they dont have a stone you like they'll try to source it. They make every setting for the gem being set, and can thus alter an existing setting they have or create something of your own dreams. They have about a 9 week lead time right now.

     
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