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MOH Dress Issue

epika248epika248
First Comment
in Wedding Party
When picking out my BM dresses, I wanted to make sure everyone got a dress that they felt confortable and beautiful in, so I decided that the only stipulations I would have on the dresses would be color, fabric, and length (tea length), other than that the girls could pick any dress they wanted.
Well my MOH had reccently asked me if she could buy a dress in a different fabric and slightly different shade so she could differentiate herself since she is the MOH.  I've offered to help pay for the dress which she declined, so cash is not an issue.  I'm not a big fan of the idea since I feel like I'm being fairly reasonable already, but I feel bad for making her buy a dress she doesn't like.  What should I do??
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Re: MOH Dress Issue

  • mgietler76mgietler76 member
    First Comment

    IMO it's not a huge deal and if it makes her happy why not?

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  • lalap69lalap69 member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-dress-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:3fc7b91e-f82b-46f0-af73-e1ff7ab91d22Post:a0a1a8f9-8f4f-4f3d-9677-fc993d044e17">Re: MOH Dress Issue</a>:
    [QUOTE]Differentiate her with a different bouquet, dress color color or sash if you want.  I do think you're already giving her a good selection of dresses to choose from and are within your rights to stick with your criteria.  People will know she's MOH from the programs, by seeing her stand immediately next to you at the ceremony and from her hands being full of a bundle of flowers if she's holding your bouquet as well as her own.
    Posted by gottahavashorti[/QUOTE]
    Agreed.  I think you're already being fair by letting her pick her own dress within your criteria.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    I'm actually with emily on this one.  Usually my advice is to let it go, but in this case, I think you're MOH is overstepping.  I'd do exactly what Emily said to do.  And I don't think that makes you a 'zilla.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • epika248epika248
    First Comment
    I wouldn't have an issue with it if the fabric and color weren't so different.  I'm looking for a light yellow in chiffon, and she's picked a darker almost gold color in satin.  It looks very heavy and fall-like, and I'm going for a light and airy look since my wedding is in April. 

    Thanks for all your inputs ladies, it helps to get some perspective.

    I was thinking of compromising by letting her pick a fabric that is a little more flowy than satin if she is unhappy with the chiffon.  Does that seem fair?
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  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    You're absolutely not a bridezilla if you tell her, "No, please stick within the parameters that I already gave you."

    But it also might be worth the headache to just give the baby her bottle and let her get something different. Especially since yellow can be a tricky color for many girls to pull off well.

    Your call.
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  • KaylaSue19KaylaSue19
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-dress-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:3fc7b91e-f82b-46f0-af73-e1ff7ab91d22Post:89214f1b-8d2a-4b2c-89f1-cbb4f7cc907d">Re: MOH Dress Issue</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think she needs to have a different dress. I think that's a personal preference thing, and if your preference is already pretty flexible, I would say no. Try something like "Actually Jenny, I really like the look of having all the dresses the same color and fabric, but don't worry, everyone will know you're MOH because you'll be standing next to me, and it'll say so in the program!" I think it's kind of AWish of her that she wants to make sure to really stand out as MOH at your wedding, frankly - who cares if other people know what her title is? The two of you know, and that's all that matters.
    Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

    Exactly what I was thinking.

     When I was MoH for my BFF over the summer there was one other BM. Our dresses were the same color, fabric, and length just a different cut. Our bouquets were the same size, and we had similar jewelry on. At no point did it ever go through my head that people wouldn't think I was MoH when I am standing next to her, holding her flowers etc.
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  • rmyers9983rmyers9983 member
    First Comment
    Truthfully, I agree that you are being quite reasonable with just saying the fabric, color and length.  Personally I am choosing the dress that my bridesmaids must wear for the wedding.  I know it might sound mean but it is my wedding and if they don't want to be in it that is their choice.  I want to have a themed wedding so I want them to wear something that goes with the theme.  I think your MOH is being quite unreasonable.
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  • epika248epika248
    First Comment
    Thanks you guys for all your opinions!  We talked about it and worked it out!  She found a chiffon dress she liked, it was just a long dress and will get altered to a short bubble dress.  She's happy, I'm happy, and life is good.  :)
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