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August 2011 Weddings

Need advice

My fiance and I were going over our wedding party. Originally I had six bridesmaid and he was still figuring out who his groomsmens wrer going to be. But one of my bridesmaid has never showed up to anything I had planned. So on Sunday he told me that he has 5 groomsmen and that I had to take a bridemaids out. And the one bridemaid that hasn't showed up I already planned on taking her out. So once I take her out then the sides will be even. The problem is I dont know how to tell her that she is noo longer in the wedding party but she still will be invited to the wedding.

Re: Need advice

  • I wouldnt cut her out. Its still early that you probably haven't done any of the major bridesmaid activities yet. Give her a chance before you cut her out. Talk to her about it. Its not worth damaging a friendship! The sides don't HAVE to be even either!
  • 1. Your bridal party sides do not have to be even.

    2. Unless you are ready to end the friendship, then do not cut her out of your wedding party. In regards to 'her not showing up to anything you've had planned', technically, her only responsibility is to get her dress/shoes and stand up for you the day of your wedding. Anything and everything else is extra.

    People have lives outside of our weddings and as they say, no one is going to care as much about your wedding as you do. She may have been busy or has things going on in her life that she hasn't shared with you. Your wedding isn't until August, so it's not even something to be worried about at this point.

  • I wouldn't cut her out...you would be ending a friendship.  And if you are prepared for that go ahead! I agree with everyone else, the sides don't have to be even.  Mine aren't even (I have 2 more bridesmaids than groomsmen & 2 flower girls and no ring bearer!)

    If you are having a problem with her showing up you could talk to her about it first maybe?  A lot of my bridesmaids couln't make the engagement party and I was upset but it's not their faults that couldn't travel in.  Everyone has their own stuff going on. 
    August 2011 sig challenge: Honeymoon!! (We bought a boat!!)
  • I'm just wondering what she's missing, is it she's missing birthday parties, meeting you out for a drink, etc.

    But I agree with pp, if you kick her out, say good bye to the friendship.
    August 2011: E-Pic! Photobucket
    229 image Invited to celebrate!
    191 image Remembered to RSVP!
    26 image Can't make it
    7 image Got lost on the way to the mailbox

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  • i have to agree with everyone here as well. i wouldnt cut her out until she has missed your bach party or even the shower- even if one of my BMs missed that im sure there would be a reason...

    if you really think about there is a reason you picked her to be your bm. yes maybe she has a life outside the wedding, but that shouldnt affect your friendship with her...and if your date is in august, she hasnt really missed anything too important like i said above
  • Thanks everyone for the advice...... And I don't think that our friendship would relly end. I actually met her at the job that I am currently working at and I only known her for a year. I just thought that it would have been a good idea to have her in it because we were getting along pretty well and we worked in the same unit. I say worked because as of Monday we won't be working together anymore because our company is getting layed off and another company is taking over our old company. I got hired with the new company and she didn't. So after tomorrow I really wont see her as much...
  • In Response to Re: Need advice:
    [QUOTE]Is this the same girl you were wanting to kick out a few weeks ago?  http://forums.theknot.com/default.aspx?path=http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_should-kick-her-out-bridal-party
    Posted by erins87[/QUOTE]

    ..Wow..I went back and read that thread...what a cluster.
  • Am I the only one that thinks its okay to kick her out.  Its your wedding, and you shoud do what you want. If it ruins your friendship  than your  friendshop was not that strong to begin with.
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