Tacky or not?

snwdngo · August 2010

I am trying to decide how I am going to walk down the aisle.

My Dad passed away when I was 12, and I have no brothers or close uncles.

I am thinking that I will ask my mom to walk me but we have never been too close, it was always more of a role reversal with me being the mom.

Otherwise I am seriously thinking of taking the walk alone. I am very independent and I do sort of hate the idea of someone giving me to someone else as though they are expecting 3 goats and a sheep in return.

I have heard that now there are a few couple that are walking down the aisle together and that sounds really nice...

What are your thoughts?

xyrius · August 2010

I'm walking myself down the aisle. My father is also passed, and I didn't want to have anyone else do it.

Teamouse · August 2010

Not too big of a fan of walking down the aisle with your husband-to-be. Walking alone is much more traditional, but that's just me.

Goldlie11 · August 2010

Even if someone walks you down, it doesn't mean that person will be giving you away. You can omit the giving away part at the ceremony. You can pick someone who is close to you, whether it is a family member or not, to walk with you if you don't want to do it alone.

elisabethb29 · August 2010

I'd say: walk yourself. Only have someone else walk you if it's someone you're close with and someone you want in that role, but it doesn't sound like there's anyone that fits that description. I think it would be a cool thing to see your FI at the end of the aisle waiting for you instead of him being by your side already.

SeptemberFall2011 · August 2010

You could ask the father in law! I think he would be honored if you do not want ot walk by yourself. You could ask a close male friend or a cousin if you wanted.

HisCB · August 2010

i have a step dad, but we arent close, so i am walking with my 2 older brothers.

when my mom married my stepdad, his mom walked her down. it was really sweet, and i dont remember exactly but i dont think that there was any mention of "giving this bride to this groom"

the escort can be just that, someone to walk with you.

i voted to walk alone though.

temerityjane · August 2010

Why don't you walk yourself and have your husband to be meet you halfway down the aisle and walk the rest of the way together?

That is, that's an option if you really like the idea of you guys walking together.

Otherwise, I see nothing wrong with walking alone.

noodle_oo · August 2010

I walked alone and I was glad I did it. My dad did not approve of the wedding and I wasn't even sure he'd come (he did, yay!). But besides that, I guess I don't like the idea that someone has to "give" you away. I'm 30 years old and I married my DH totally of my own choice. So I felt it was very symbolic and appropriate to walk by myself. I was a little worried about tripping, but no worries, it went off fine!!!

If you want to walk with your FI, that's cool too! I thought about it, but I sort of wanted to walk to him waiting at the end of the aisle. Again, the symbolism just worked for me. (we walked in separately, but out together joined as one new family).

Muffin'sMom · August 2010

I went to a wedding where the bride walked alone and the groom met her at the front row of chairs, took her hand, kissed her palm, tucked it in his arm, and they walked the rest of the way together. I admit it...I teared up.

HisCB · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tacky-not-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:35034c25-c665-4fa1-91e4-cf6cd5d02d23Post:08c22042-bcc4-470e-ae47-b92e9df59c88">Re: Tacky or not?</a>:
[QUOTE]I went to a wedding where the bride walked alone and the groom met her at the front row of chairs, took her hand, kissed her palm, tucked it in his arm, and they walked the rest of the way together. I admit it...I teared up.
Posted by Muffin'sMom[/QUOTE]

that does sound beautiful!

MandK9 · August 2010

Aww, would it really hurt your mom if you didn't have her walk you? I'm a sap for avoiding hurt feelings, so my vote is too biased to count. If she'd seriously be so hurt that she'd cry, I'd just let her walk me.

tldh · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tacky-not-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:35034c25-c665-4fa1-91e4-cf6cd5d02d23Post:f636c11d-82ed-464a-9fe2-e82fb7150620">Re: Tacky or not?</a>:
[QUOTE]Not too big of a fan of walking down the aisle with your husband-to-be. Walking alone is much more traditional, but that's just me.
Posted by Teamouse[/QUOTE]

Not everywhere. Crown Princess Victoria caused a stir in Sweden this year when her father walked her down the aisle. It's tradition in Scandinavian countries for the B&G to walk the aisle together.

[Deleted User] · August 2010

I agree with the other ladies. I guess I am too traditional and don't like the whole idea of bride and groom walking down the aisle together. Why not do the meet halfway thing or just walk alone?

portialoveschris · August 2010

I would TOTALLY walk down by myself if my father weren't around. You marry yourself, before anyone else--that's my motto! Go for it girl!

flyjawn · August 2010

i think you should do whatever you are comfortable with.

i had both my parents walk in with me at my first wedding and then i walked down the aisle myself.

Norms Angel Forever · August 2010

i like the idea of having your FI meet you at one point and you walk towards your new life together

but it's YOUR day, talk to your FI and decide what works for both of you!!!

andy71781 · August 2010

I say walk yourself down or have him meet you. Would it make you really sad to walk by yourself?

JessAndTrav · August 2010

Do it alone. I have been to weddings where the bride walks it alone, and I think it's nice.

If my grandfather wasn't still around, I would have done it alone or had my brother walk me. My dad came, but I refused to give him the priviledge.

But I will say, be ready to have a conversation about it with your mom. My dad seemed upset that I didn't asked him, and I just had to say it, "do you deserve that?" His silence was quite remnant of why I wasn't having him do it anyway.

ThePinkSuperhero · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tacky-not-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:35034c25-c665-4fa1-91e4-cf6cd5d02d23Post:de4411d3-b620-4b84-b18e-5195cea6f100">Re: Tacky or not?</a>:
[QUOTE]Aww, would it really hurt your mom if you didn't have her walk you? I'm a sap for avoiding hurt feelings, so my vote is too biased to count. If she'd seriously be so hurt that she'd cry, I'd just let her walk me.
Posted by MandK9[/QUOTE]

I agree. Otherwise, walk alone or with your man!

JennaV26 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tacky-not-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:35034c25-c665-4fa1-91e4-cf6cd5d02d23Post:5727cb59-870a-4f3d-8f1d-d60410cac700">Re: Tacky or not?</a>:
[QUOTE]Why don't you walk yourself and have your husband to be meet you halfway down the aisle and walk the rest of the way together? Posted by temerityjane[/QUOTE]

Aww that sounds so romantic! I vote that one!

2dBride · August 2010

My wife and I walked down the aisle together. However, you should do what feels best to you. Alone is fine, with FI is fine, or with someone else is fine.

jaktom · August 2010

My father died when I was young to and I always imagined myself walking down the aisle myself. However my mom has said she really wants to walk me so that is what we are going to do. But go ahead and walk yourself! Nothing wrong with that.

MeganAngela · August 2010

I'm in this same position. While my father has not passed away we are not close at all, and I don't feel comfortable letting him walk me down the aisle. I originally was going to let another family member walk me down the aisle, but then I realized other family members might wonder why they didn't get to be the one to do it. So, I thought about walking down alone. I think that is always a good standby. There is no reason you can't walk yourself. The family member that I DID want to walk me down the aisle was my grandfather who recently passed away, and my family has told me that just because I won't see him physically doesn't mean he won't be walking me down the aisle. So, think of it that way. He's still walking you down that aisle in spirit.

However, after hearing about it recently, my FI and I are going to have it so that I walk 3/4 of the way down the aisle on my own, and then he'll come to meet me and walk me those last few steps. I thought that was a very romantic idea, and I wasn't sure if he'd think it was too silly, but when I told him about it he was so honored that he would get to walk me part of the way that it is what we ended up agreeing to do!

In the end, you have to do what makes you happy and comfortable. If you want someone to walk you down the aisle, choose someone close to you whether they are male or female. If you want to walk in alone, walk confidently! And if you want your FI to walk you down the aisle, be excited that you are sharing that walk together. There are so many options! You'll find the right one!

Also, as far as the part of the ceremony where they ask who is giving the bride away, we are nixing that in favor of something else. The officiant is going to ask who blesses this union, and we'll have both his parents and my mother say that they do. Less giving away, more blessing and sending their love!

tenofcups4me · August 2010

Honestly, I think any one of your options is fine and all have nice symbolic meanings -- it's just up to you which you prefer. The only thing I would not do is another (male) family member to walk you -- what a slap in the face to your mother.

squirrly · August 2010

Walk yourself down the aisle.

parker624 · August 2010

You could walk yourself half way and have your mom meet you and walk with you the rest of the way.

kpwedkk · August 2010

Walk down the aisle yourself... if you want to honor your dad's memory, take a small locket and attach it to your bouquet - he'll be walking down with you

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