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Bridal Shower Invite Etiquette

gish24gish24 member
First Comment
in Pre-wedding Parties
I am putting together an invite list for my MOH.  Most of my aunts live out of state and will not be able to make the shower.  Do I still invite them out of respect?  I don't want them to feel left out!  Or is this not proper etiquette?
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Re: Bridal Shower Invite Etiquette

  • waltzingmatilda13waltzingmatilda13 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You should put everyone on the guest list that you would want to be there. If you are close to them and would love it if they could come go ahead and include them. You never know, they might actually make the trip. And if they don't, I'm sure they would be touched that you want to include them in such a special event.
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  • SuMmErKuTiESuMmErKuTiE member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I had the same question when drafting up a list to give to the shower hosts. My mom said to invite the out of state aunts, because as you said some may feel left out. Yes, we understand that they may not make it and are not trying to appear gift grabby, but we also want them to know we were thinking of them and wanted to include them. It's up to them whether or not they can make it. I have an aunt who lives in Michigan (I'm in CT) and she still sent a gift anyway, and one of FI's cousins in Florida actually ended up being in town visiting family and she was able to attend the shower. So, sometimes it does work out. HTH!
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would ask your mom about this.  Because I've discovered that it's very much a family "thing".

    In our famly, it is considered particularly rude to send an invitation to a shower to someone you know can't attend.  It is viewed as a blatant gift grab, and is very unseemly.

    However, my DD's MIL insisted on sending out somewhere around 12 of what she called "courtesy invites".  She knew the people would not be there, but said that in her family, they'd be in a snit if they were not invited. 

    So I'd check with those who know your family dynamics.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I agree with Trix, your mom would probably be able to help you with this decision. I have relatives that would expect a courtesy invitation to my daughter's shower. They would feel insulted to be left out. My husband's aunts would see it as a bid for gifts, so you have to be very careful about this.
                       
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  • KRN726KRN726 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hmmmm...it does kinda feel like a way to ask for a gift if you KNOW a person absolutely cannot attend, like an elderly out-of-state aunt. If it truly is someone you really care for, then perhaps a sweet phone call expressing your wishes that they can attend with a promise to send photos. IDK - just a thought.
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