WR: officiant

K&J64 · October 2010

Ok so I've been trying to find a Catholic officiant for our wedding. A Roman Catholic priest won't do it for obviously reasons. But the Francescan Catholic community (which does not answer to the Vatican/Pope but is as close to Roman Catholic as I can get) has some bishops/priests who are welcoming and willing to marry two ladies. So I got a reccomendation for a girl on my LB and was in touch with a bishop who was really very nice, but unavailable for our date. He put me in touch with a priest in his community based in CT. I emailed him two weeks ago and followed up with a phone call. At what point do I just assume he's decided against bless my big gay wedding and move on and try to find someone else.

What other demoniations are *nearly* Catholic that you know of, if any? I would let my puppy get ordained and perform the ceremony for all I care, but this is important to my honey so I'm trying. Advice appreciated.

zippityb · October 2010

Episcopalian?

MISSCOURTNEY20 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_wr-officiant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:93cda42c-5090-4c69-84a5-c8772cde7b8aPost:c3da4e4c-8f88-467a-9053-9e94f1787df8">WR: officiant</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok so I've been trying to find a Catholic officiant for our wedding. A Roman Catholic priest won't do it for obviously reasons. But the Francescan Catholic community (which does not answer to the Vatican/Pope but is as close to Roman Catholic as I can get) has some bishops/priests who are welcoming and willing to marry two ladies. So I got a reccomendation for a girl on my LB and was in touch with a bishop who was really very nice, but unavailable for our date. He put me in touch with a priest in his community based in CT.<strong> I emailed him two weeks ago and followed up with a phone call. At what point do I just assume he's decided against bless my big gay wedding and move on and try to find someone else.</strong> What other demoniations are *nearly* Catholic that you know of, if any? I would let my puppy get ordained and perform the ceremony for all I care, but this is important to my honey so I'm trying. Advice appreciated.
Posted by kcullen37[/QUOTE]

I would try to get in touch with him. If the other priest put you in touch with him, I would assume that he would be willing to do it. You have some time so don't give up so soon.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · October 2010

Well, if I were you, I'd just keep calling that other priest until you actually talk to him. Maybe he's out of town, maybe he is busy. Maybe he's just really bad at checking his messages. Maybe he's on sabbatical. Don't give up til you actually hear the word no!

I think it was MIAF who said earlier to check out the Unitarians (is that right, MILF?!), because they are very welcoming of couples of the same sex.

jasmineh7777 · October 2010

The other priest might just be really busy. I know my priest would always take 2-3 weeks to get back to me.
The clostest thing to Catholic is the Greek Orthodox church, but I don't kow if they acknowledge gay weddings. My guess is no, because they are basically Catholic.
If your FI is practicing, the big question is whether or not she wants to be able to take Communion. Do you know?

ehathewa · October 2010

We are having a friend do the service and he was more than happy to incorporated Catholic aspects.

K&J64 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_wr-officiant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:93cda42c-5090-4c69-84a5-c8772cde7b8aPost:785b4f87-d7dd-49cb-b483-ff4074c84e6e">Re: WR: officiant</a>:
[QUOTE]The other priest might just be really busy. I know my priest would always take 2-3 weeks to get back to me. The clostest thing to Catholic is the Greek Orthodox church, but I don't kow if they acknowledge gay weddings. My guess is no, because they are basically Catholic. <strong>If your FI is practicing, the big question is whether or not she wants to be able to take Communion. Do you know?</strong>
Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]

I know I could find several Protestant (Methodist, possibly Presbyterian and Unitarian which is non-dom.) officiants. But the key is it being *nearly* catholic. I think my FI wants to see a collar and robe. I don't think she cares to take communion (which I don't think would be possible b/c we're having onsite/outdoor ceremony).

I'll give the priest more time and keep calling him every 5 days to a week. Hopefully it will work out, if not I could see if the bishop has someone else in mind. It would have been AWESOME if the bishop was free on our date. Having some sort of Catholic inspired ceremony will also legitimize our wedding in the eyes of her family a little I think. I'll try to be patient with the man :)

jasmineh7777 · October 2010

There are a few obstacles I foresee. Catholic ceremonies (for any couple) cannot take place outside. It must be on Church ground. Will the Franciscan priest do that for you? Will that denomination still recognize your marriage if it is outdoors?
Are you guys required to do the premarital counseling?
I'm just thinking of the hoops my church made us go through.

If you can't find a Franciscan bishop to do it for you, there are probably some Catholic things you could incorporate regardless. The typical rundown is 2 readings, then a Gospel reading and Homily. Maybe you could emulate that format, and throw in the Lord's prayer? How Catholic does it need to be to make her family feel good about it?

jasmineh7777 · October 2010

And FYI, Catholic supply stores totally sell the robe, collar, wine, etc. Technically, it is all meaningless unless it is blessed (wine, hosts, etc.) Would it be horribly sinful to have whomever marries you wear priest garb? (If it is, don't tell Jesus I suggested it.)

pixiedust84 · October 2010

I would say if that doesn't work out go Episcopalian. That's pretty close. But keep trying him - as someone who is terrible at returning phone calls I always tell people to keep trying. He may be all for it but just hasn't been able to call you back yet!

I went to Fi's cousin's big gay wedding last weekend and they had an Episcopalian priest speak. He wasn't the officiant but he did a little speech and a prayer. It was really great. He actually babtized fi's cousin's wife when she was a baby so it was really cool. He started with "Ya know - a lot of Christians may get their knickers in a knot over what we're doing here today but here's why they're wrong" - We all chuckled at that. He was cool.

Good luck! I hope it works out!

K&J64 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_wr-officiant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:93cda42c-5090-4c69-84a5-c8772cde7b8aPost:0e4797bf-f1d5-428b-86e0-3d7ef6bb0896">Re: WR: officiant</a>:
[QUOTE]And FYI, Catholic supply stores totally sell the robe, collar, wine, etc. Technically, it is all meaningless unless it is blessed (wine, hosts, etc.) Would it be horribly sinful to have whomever marries you wear priest garb? (If it is, don't tell Jesus I suggested it.)
Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]

hahaha I'm pretty sure that's frown upon. Don't worry I won't tell the big JC. The bishop I spoke with was unphased by the outdoor ceremony. *I* don't want to be married in a church, so the outdoor wedding is very important to me. Espisopalian is a good idea thanks! I'll try them out next if I can't connect with this priest.

jasmineh7777 · October 2010

Good luck! I don't know why the Church hates Nature. It's one of our sillier rules.

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