not doing a seating chart

HisCB · March 2010

i want to hear from other brides that arent doing seating charts.

we will just have tables with chairs, people can sit anywhere theyd like.
we are having buffet style food, and typically weddings ive been to, people move around and mingle.

so i want to hear from brides who arent doing seating charts and peoples ideas on having them or not having them!

Lasairiona · March 2010

Anytime you serve food where people need to sit down with utensils to eat, you need a seating arrangement. Otherwise, it will be chaotic and you can not avoid that. Couples and families always get split up and other chairs are saved for people who never sit there and those who save them do not give them up for any reason. I personally have seen many weddings and other events that had no seating arrangement of any kind and they were a complete madhouse everytime.

HisCB · March 2010

thanks for the feedback, but i disagree, every wedding ive been to has been sans seating chart, and none were madhouses. i like that people will get split up and mingle.

Lasairiona · March 2010

You cannot force people to mingle.

HisCB · March 2010

im not trying to, i just hope it happens naturally, and it tends to in my family and friends groups. i want my reception to be more of a party than a restraunt dinner.

vgmartinez · March 2010

I'm not having seating charts. I've actually never been to a wedding that had assigned seating. Of course, the weddings I have been to have been buffet style. Plated dinners are a different story since they are more formal. I prefer to just sit wherever I feel.

jennylove810 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_not-doing-seating-chart-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:61300eca-3760-4747-a020-8e9cf674a769Post:523cbf87-f421-4d16-82de-c99a19ffb89e">Re: not doing a seating chart</a>:
[QUOTE]Anytime you serve food where people need to sit down with utensils to eat, you need a seating arrangement. Otherwise, it will be chaotic and you can not avoid that. Couples and families always get split up and other chairs are saved for people who never sit there and those who save them do not give them up for any reason. I personally have seen many weddings and other events that had no seating arrangement of any kind and they were a complete madhouse everytime.
Posted by Lasairiona[/QUOTE]

This.

gottahavashorti · March 2010

Have a good amount of extra seating.

ExpatPumpkin · March 2010

The few weddings I've been to without assigned seating were logistical disasters... Obviously your experience has been different, but I very strongly prefer assigning people to tables. I think that it's just something that a thoughtful hostess does for her guests' comfort.

And assigning tables doesn't prevent mingling. People aren't chained to their chairs

ExpatPumpkin · March 2010

Stage brings up a good point. If the majority of the weddings that you attend don't do assigned seating, then just follow that lead. You should go with whichever method you feel will make your guests the most comfortable. Your experiences with it have been positive, so it will probably work out just fine.

ManyPenguins · March 2010

If seating charts are not common in your area, your guests will know what to do without one. Let's give these people some credit. We aren't doing a seating chart for our wedding either, and I am not concerned at all. It's not that I think it is never a good idea to do one, but it's also not mandatory or even necessary.

Amaryllis619 · March 2010

We're not doing a seating chart either, and I'm not really worried about it. We're doing buffet style also. People will sit where the like, and mingle. I've never been to one that had assigned seating, actually. We are providing slightly more seating than guests tho, like pp said. GL

futuremrsrichardhall · March 2010

I'm undecided about a seating chart. On one hand, I want people to freely mingle and sit by who they want. But on the other hand, free seating could lead to people not getting to sit together when they want to... And you'd definitely need to add chairs and place settings, which just costs more.

tappybear · March 2010

I'm not planning on doing a seating chart with our guests. I may change my mind but I think I would rather have my guests choose where they want to sit so that they will be happy. I will have plenty of extra seating as well. My venue actually prefers and encourages open seating as opposed to assigned.

I've been to tons of weddings, and haven't witnessed the chaos that other people have posted about with open seating. I think adults are perfectly capable of mingling and figuring out where they want to sit and who they want to enjoy their meal with.

CA2MT4EveR · March 2010

Never been to a wedding with a seating chart. And been to many, many weddings.

sharshar91 · March 2010

Unless you are having a true cocktail reception like at a bar or something you must have a seating chart. It will create problems for you if you do not. I know they are very frustrating to do and time consuming but the more organized the day the less stressful it will be for you and everyone else. One of my friends just threw everybodies names into a bucket and drew ten names at a time to make her chart. She let people know that at the wedding though. it was quite fun and totally random.

Lasairiona · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_not-doing-seating-chart-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:61300eca-3760-4747-a020-8e9cf674a769Post:3cf4087d-ba58-44c3-a20a-fb66c73cfbd9">Re: not doing a seating chart</a>:
[QUOTE]Unless you are having a true cocktail reception like at a bar or something you must have a seating chart. It will create problems for you if you do not. So, how, sharshar, do you explain how myself, danieliza, and several other knotties managed to skip the seating chart and not have problems? I'm not saying that seating charts are bad, but this whole attitude that the are absolutely necessary and that doom and gloom and rabid eagles will attack your reception if you don't have one is just silly.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
Danieliza has mentioned in several places that she had a heavy appetizers reception where guests were served the equivalent of dinner, not a plated or buffet dinner that requires utensils, and a seating chart is not used for that type of reception. It is for a plated or buffet though. You are describing two completely different types of receptions. The amount of food is irrelevant. What is relevant is how it is served and how/where/if guests are supposed to be seated during that time to eat. The OP is asking about a buffet dinner where guests have full plates. Sharshar is mentioning the types of receptions where a seating chart is practical and where it isn't. A buffet is not the same as a cocktail reception in any way, even though many people insist it is.

stefani103 · March 2010

If your guests don't expect one, don't have one. Just be sure to have plenty of seats so that couples/groups are not required to split up.

We are doing one because we have ginormo cafeteria-style long tables and don't want to have extras. Fewer tables also mean fewer centerpieces. We are just doing table assignments, not seats.

Lasairiona · March 2010

Well, obviously everyone has their own definition and thinks they are all the sole authority on it based on how the folks around them define such things. Most cocktail receptions/parties actually don't take place in bars at all. But that doesn't mean that they're fake, even if someone else claims they are. On the same token, just because a party or event takes place in a bar, that does not automatically make it a cocktail reception.

impslave · March 2010

We're having a sit-down dinner in a restaurant and no seating chart. Seemed a waste of time to do one for 24 guests.

MyNameIsNot · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_not-doing-seating-chart-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:61300eca-3760-4747-a020-8e9cf674a769Post:ae08e8bd-bb65-48e0-a008-5ade48b43833">Re: not doing a seating chart</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: not doing a seating chart : Danieliza has mentioned in several places that she had a heavy appetizers reception where guests were served the equivalent of dinner, not a plated or buffet dinner that requires utensils, and a seating chart is not used for that type of reception. It is for a plated or buffet though. You are describing two completely different types of receptions. The amount of food is irrelevant. What is relevant is how it is served and how/where/if guests are supposed to be seated during that time to eat. The OP is asking about a buffet dinner where guests have full plates. Sharshar is mentioning the types of receptions where a seating chart is practical and where it isn't. A buffet is not the same as a cocktail reception in any way, even though many people insist it is.
Posted by Lasairiona[/QUOTE]

<div>We had stations style buffet. It was a full meal (steak, pasta dishes, etc) that involved silverware and plates. We had open seating. It was not even remotely chaotic. </div>

krmabojo · March 2010

Every wedding I have been to there has never been a seating chart and everything went smoothly. I would reserve a table for both sets of parents.

If your family or his has never had a seating chart, then I say do not use one. People will sit and figure it out for themselves.

mamerritt · March 2010

for the people that didn't have seating charts, did you have some kind of fun rhyme or poem at the entrance of the reception site to let guests know there was no assigned seating & they can sit where ever they'd like? my fh & i would prefer no assigned seating so it's less stress on us & we want our wedding to be more casual & fun for everyone too

MyNameIsNot · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_not-doing-seating-chart-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:61300eca-3760-4747-a020-8e9cf674a769Post:2db6ff6a-cce0-4691-9447-1addb8dc1672">Re: not doing a seating chart</a>:
[QUOTE]for the people that didn't have seating charts, did you have some kind of fun rhyme or poem at the entrance of the reception site to let guests know there was no assigned seating & they can sit where ever they'd like? my fh & i would prefer no assigned seating so it's less stress on us & we want our wedding to be more casual & fun for everyone too
Posted by mamerritt[/QUOTE]

<div>No. I find silly rhymes obnoxious. There was no table with escort cards or seating chart at the door, so people just went and sat down. The catering staff opened the doors after the cocktail hour and directed them into the ballroom, so if someone had been looking for a seating chart, they would have asked them.</div>

squinger · March 2010

We are having a buffet style dinner. We are not doing a seating chart. I am 100% against them. Out of all the weddings I have been to, only 2 of them had an actual seating chart. The first one, was fine, our entire family was asigned to the same table. The 2nd one, was horrible. I was foreced to sit at a table where I did not know one person, and was not able to sit with my family. And I had alot of family at this wedding.

I have never expericanced chaos at a open seating event. People know who they do or dont want to sit by. Everyone is adults and should be able to find a place to sit in a very civil manner. We are on the other hand, reserving a few of the front tables for our parents and grandparents and the family or spouses of those in the bridal party.

I say do what you think will work best. I see no problem the open seating

homediva · March 2010

We are doing assigned tables but not assigned seats, this is how I have always seen it done (mostly in Toronto). There are typically escort cards to a specific table and then you just take a seat anywhere at that table.

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