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Bridesmaid etiquette

Is it customary to ask the sister of my fiance to be my bridesmaid?  Is something like this expected?  We get along great when we spend time together but we don't actually spend that much time together.  

Re: Bridesmaid etiquette

  • msuprincess04msuprincess04 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    edited August 2012
    In general, no, you don't have to invite her to be  BM. You pick your side and your Fi picks his side and if he wants her to stand than he can ask her.

    However, in some families, it may not be that simple. It's probably best to ask your FI whether he wants her in the wedding, and if it would be a problem if you didn't ask her. He may have a better handle on how his family deals with this situation.
    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
  • Thank you msuprincess04!
  • Agree with msuprincess.  Also, if it is important to your FI that she be included in the wedding, she can participate as a groomswoman, just as you could (if applicable) have your brothers stand as bridesmen.  I would think about this especially if it's important to have her in the wedding for family reasons.
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  • I probably have a similar relationship with my fiance's sister, based on how you described yours. I asked her to be a bridesmaid because I'm hoping/assume we will become closer as we both grow and start families.
  • I plan on asking my FI's sister to be a bridesmaid. As other posters have mentioned, we also don't really hang out, but get along well when we see one another.  I'm hoping that we will become closer as time goes on and we are officially family. Also, my FI is planning on asking my brother to be a groomsman. We feel it is important to involve family in our day.
  • I asked my fiancee's sister to be a bridesmaid - I'd only met her once prior to that (we live across the country) but she's very sweet and we've talked and bonded more since then about wedding planning stuff.  My fiancee included my brother as one of his groomsmen (he'd actually never met him at that point - they've met since and got along fine though they're 11 years apart in age so will probably never be super close).  My sister is my maid of honor so that accounts for all our siblings.

    Definitely isn't necessary to do it this way but I wanted everyone in our families to feel included and a part of the day, even if we were all still getting to know each other.  It's working out great so far!
  • I assumed FI's sister would be a BM, considering I also have 1 brother who I assumed would be a groomsman.  We included all siblings in the party, that is just a given with us. 

    However, I know that is not always the case.  See what FI wants.  With us, there was just the underlying assumption each sibling would stand, as long as the siblings all wanted to.  She'll be my SIL so I'd rather not rock the boat. 
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  • anssettanssett member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    edited August 2012
    My half-brother's now wife was kind enough to invite me to be part of her wedding party even though we hardly knew each other. It gave me a chance to get to know her better, spend time with her, and start feeling like she is my family. Now she's the mother of my only niece and we chat online sometimes, I fly to see them a couple times a year, and to me that all started by her reaching out 6 years ago. It's not an obligation, but it's an opportunity. Remember that his sister will be there for the rest of his life (now your life), even after some of your friendships have changed and you've moved on.
  • well said Anssett
  • Well thats not a bad idea, if you have that compatibility with her you can ask her for to be your bridesmaid. If not then build up the bond thats moat essential.
  • It's a really good diplomatic move and an opportunity to build family relationships.  I would say the only reason to not invite her would be if she is an unstable personality that will put undue stress on you, or you two already just don't get along at all.

    I invited my future SIL to be a bridesmaid, and it was the best decision I could have possibly made.  The woman is a closet wedding enthusiast and has been cheerfully elbow-deep in helping me plan.   We've been bonding like crazy, and I've gotten a new awesome friend out of what was at first a diplomatic gesture.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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