The night I got engaged, I called my big sis and asked her to be my MoH. We're almost 11 years apart and have only become truly close in the past 3-4 years, but I was raised to value family and wanted to avoid the drama of choosing between my two of my best friends. My sis avoids melodrama and getting involved in others' personal lives, but actually stood up for me during our mom's anti-groom tirades over the past year and a half. Plus she's a type A personality, overachiever, and all around doer of deeds, so I thought things would be great... until she made a comment regarding my wedding and basically said her only plan is to "put on a pretty dress, smile, eat, and go home." Um... eh?!
I told her there's more to it than that, even for bridesmaids. She asked, like what, so I emailed her a link to the MoH duties list and got "hahaha" as a response. My mom told me she didn't even bother to look at the page. Given that we have more than 10 months to go and I have more than enough stress w/ work and life in general, I put it on the back burner.
Then my HTB broached the subject tonight, which sort of threw me. He was very apologetic and said he knows the workings of the bridal party are none of his business, but I am. He pointed out that she has a track record of being self-centered and that one of my BFF's, who also worries constantly about my stress, has already taken the lead in getting the girls together, trying to organize the basics, and even offering us pre-wedding financial advice. His feels that my sis will leave me in the lurch, my friend will not get much-deserved credit, and that the entire situation will lead to even more stress for me, which directly affects my health.
My issue now is figuring out if it's even worth confronting my sis and asking her flat out if she is up to the challenge of being a true MoH. She might very well agree to do it and put forth some effort. If so, I know she will do a stunning job as I've seen her in action. However, if she's not, then I have to pick a new one. Logically it would be the one who's already moving in that direction... but she doesn't really like being in the spotlight. Plus she's the newest of my BFF's, which could cause hurt feelings w/ the oldest. Still, I don't think she'd turn me down, and I know she can handle things.
I'd greatly appreciate any thoughts or suggestions. Thanks!