Wedding Etiquette Forum

children

Only two of the people on our guest list have little kids. How do we politely let them know that children are OK at the ceremony, which will be outdoors in a park, but not permtted at the reception, which is in a pub?

Re: children

  • strlzfan11strlzfan11 member
    First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2010
    Don't list their names on the invitation if they are not invited.  If the parents send in the RSVP indicating they are bringing the kids you call them up and simply say that you are having an adults-only reception and that you are unable to accommodate little Johnny or little Suzy.  If the parents say they are unwilling to attend without their children, tell them that you are sorry to hear that and that you hope to get together with them sometime.
  • I think that by the invite the parents will see that the reception is in a pub, therefore, their children will not be permitted inside. They then can make arrangments for them to be picked up by a babysitter after the ceremony or simply arrange for a sitter for the entire day.
  • I think it would probably just be easier to not list the children on the invite and not have them at the ceremony. It seems like it would be an inconvenience for the parents to have to drop the kids off to a sitter. Besides, I don't think children actually enjoy the ceremony. They are too young to appreciate what is going on.
  • Thanks!
    Actually, I don't mean to indicate that I was inviting children to the ceremony. I'm just trying to be as accommodating to my guests as possible.
    However, if they insist on bringing their kids, all I can say is that the park allows them, but the pub doesn't. But if I  understand correctly, I'm not allowed to be even that accommodating?
    We live in Las Vegas and are arranging discount guest rates at an off-strip casino hotel across the street from our reception site. The hotel has a children's play zone, where kids could play safely while the parents attend the reception. Is there a way I can politely mention this?
    I'm honestly trying to be helpful, not rude.
    Thanks.

  • I think it's fine to only invite adults to the wedding, but let them bring their kids to the ceremony if they ask.  That's what we did.  We only sent invitations to adults, but many of our relatives brought their kids to the church ceremony.  Technically the church ceremony was open to anyone so we couldn't have prohibited guests from bringing them children to the ceremony if we had wanted. 

    Smilarly, I think it's fine if parents want to bring their kids to the ceremony in a public park.  I see no problem with them bring kids to the park.  You just can't send an invitation that says the kids are only welcome for the park.
  • I agree with SaraAndrew.  Don't put the kids on the invitation.  If the parents approach you about bringing the kids, nicely tell them that they are welcome to join you in the park for the ceremony but unfortunately the pub will not allow them to enter.
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  • I would also just not put the kids on the invite. If asked, let the parents know what you told us: they are welcome at the park, but are not allowed in the pub. The parents can then decide if they want to bring them to the ceremony or not bring them at all.


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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2fdb3aaa-31f4-450e-816e-8d83795cfd37Post:bf48c240-9e2d-4a65-a903-16749b646c7e">Re: children</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks! Actually, I don't mean to indicate that I was inviting children to the ceremony. I'm just trying to be as accommodating to my guests as possible. However, if they insist on bringing their kids, all I can say is that the park allows them, but the pub doesn't. But if I  understand correctly, I'm not allowed to be even that accommodating? We live in Las Vegas and are arranging discount guest rates at an off-strip casino hotel across the street from our reception site. <strong>The hotel has a children's play zone, where kids could play safely while the parents attend the reception. Is there a way I can politely mention this?</strong> I'm honestly trying to be helpful, not rude. Thanks.
    Posted by gownmaker[/QUOTE]


    I wouldn't even bother mentioning this...I'm a parent, and I could not even imagine dropping my kids off at a place like this.  I don't trust strangers to watch my children.  If I am invited to an OOT wedding and my children are not (I don't expect my children to be invited to weddings FWIW), I either make arrangements to leave them home with trusted family members or I decline the invitation.
    image
    Kate ~ Mommy to Matthew 3/29/07 & Kylie 12/30/08 & Chase 3/31/11
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