Bouquet and Garter toss question

DMoore421 · May 2012

My FI and I would like to have the bouquet and garter toss - BUT most of the people at the wedding will not be single - very few will be - so how do we still do this if there are only a few people to take part?

Avion22 · May 2012

We had like one single man and one single woman at our reception, so we skipped the tosses. Unless there are a lot of single people, I just don't see the point. And back when I was single, the bouquet toss was my cue to check my make-up in the ladies room -- I think most single people feel the same way (at least single women anyway). These people will feel ESPECIALLY singled out if there are only a handful of singles there.

I would skip it if I were you.

You can always present your bouquet to someone special to you (your mom, grandmother, special aunt, whoever).

Kristin789 · May 2012

Totally agree with Avion.
DH and I go to about 3 weddings a year (we're both teachers) and I bet I haven't seen the tosses in the last five years or so.

meganb1977 · May 2012

Yeah you can definitely skip it if you don't have enough guests to participate. Don't forget older guests who might be divorced or widowed that you could encourage to participate! They're still single :-) We wanted to do it even though most of our friends are already married with multiple kids and we lucked out that we did have a few single girls and guys at our small-ish wedding (about 60 people actually came).

MoonlightSilver · May 2012

We're skipping the tosses because we have almost no single people.

If you're really, really interested in doing it, you should twist the concept around. Maybe have all the married men come out to catch the bouquet, and give it to their wife? Married ladies catch the garter, and then the lady who catches it gets to push it up her husbands leg (over his pants, preferably. haha). Have it be a fun twist so your crowd still enjoys it.

Avion22 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_bouquet-and-garter-toss-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:51dd6ec7-d431-4975-8a42-9c1453f2c15bPost:4c690675-f8c9-4e62-8aaf-1f5a9c93a935">Re: Bouquet and Garter toss question</a>:
[QUOTE]We're skipping the tosses because we have almost no single people. If you're really, really interested in doing it, you should twist the concept around. Maybe have all the married men come out to catch the bouquet, and give it to their wife? Married ladies catch the garter, and then the lady who catches it gets to push it up her husbands leg (over his pants, preferably. haha). Have it be a fun twist so your crowd still enjoys it.
Posted by MoonlightSilver[/QUOTE]

<div>Okay, that's actually kind of a cute idea:-)</div>

j-harvey · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_bouquet-and-garter-toss-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:51dd6ec7-d431-4975-8a42-9c1453f2c15bPost:7eb21492-efd9-4077-bc4f-17fdd7c80480">Re: Bouquet and Garter toss question</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah you can definitely skip it if you don't have enough guests to participate. Don't forget older guests who might be divorced or widowed that you could encourage to participate! They're still single :-) Posted by meganb1977[/QUOTE]

I'm assuming the encouraging them part is a joke, but for those who are considering it, don't. There's no way you can encourage a widow/divorcee who doesn't usually go out to catch the bouquet without sounding like you care more about your special day than about your guests' comfort. "Aunt Milly, Uncle Fred left you a decade ago. Grandma, Gramps has been in the ground for 25 year. Both of you, get ready to catch!"

AurorasEnvy · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_bouquet-and-garter-toss-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:51dd6ec7-d431-4975-8a42-9c1453f2c15bPost:4c690675-f8c9-4e62-8aaf-1f5a9c93a935">Re: Bouquet and Garter toss question</a>:
[QUOTE]We're skipping the tosses because we have almost no single people. If you're really, really interested in doing it, you should twist the concept around. Maybe have all the married men come out to catch the bouquet, and give it to their wife? Married ladies catch the garter, and then the lady who catches it gets to push it up her husbands leg (over his pants, preferably. haha). Have it be a fun twist so your crowd still enjoys it.
Posted by MoonlightSilver[/QUOTE]

<div>I'd skip it (we did), but if you have to have it this is a cute idea. I did not hear one person mention us skipping it or even ask about it. The only thing worse than having to go out and try to catch the bouquet is having to go out and try to catch the bouquet with only 3-4 other single ladies. I'm glad I'm married now so I won't be coerced to do it ever again!</div>

mia888 · May 2012

you can either skip it or hand the bouquet directly to a girl friend of yours whom you want to give the bouquet.

although this garter and bouquet toss has been a tradition that has been around for quite some time, you don't have to be pressured to do it and end up having a boring garter toss or bouquet toss with only a couple of single people at the celebration. and yes, they are all right! not many single women love this part of the wedding.. when i was single, i always find ways to skip this part of the wedding reception, so you may even actually be giving single women a good breather.

Lisa50 · May 2012

We did not have either. No one asked about it or missed it.

DMoore421 · May 2012

I guess I need to re-think a little - and come up iith something a little creative

OliveOilsMom · May 2012

We did not do the tosses either. We had only a few single guests. We did an anniversary dance instead. All married couples are invited onto the dance floor and then the DJ slowly removes all of the couples by years. So the longest married couple at the end will get a quick little spotlight dance and then you present your bouquet to the couple. My dad's cousins were the ones married longest and the wife was very surprised and happy when presented with the bouquet. It was really cute.

jjolovich · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_bouquet-and-garter-toss-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:51dd6ec7-d431-4975-8a42-9c1453f2c15bPost:7c9b2b54-92f6-4b7e-a8fc-56b4a2b7db47">Re: Bouquet and Garter toss question</a>:
[QUOTE]We did not do the tosses either. We had only a few single guests. We did an anniversary dance instead. All married couples are invited onto the dance floor and then the DJ slowly removes all of the couples by years. So the longest married couple at the end will get a quick little spotlight dance and then you present your bouquet to the couple. My dad's cousins were the ones married longest and the wife was very surprised and happy when presented with the bouquet. It was really cute.
Posted by OliveOilsMom[/QUOTE]

This!! We are considering doing this as well, but i think we may have enough single people we can pull it off...if not the switching roles sounds fun!

kgrawedding · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_bouquet-and-garter-toss-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:51dd6ec7-d431-4975-8a42-9c1453f2c15bPost:4c690675-f8c9-4e62-8aaf-1f5a9c93a935">Re: Bouquet and Garter toss question</a>:
[QUOTE]We're skipping the tosses because we have almost no single people. If you're really, really interested in doing it, you should twist the concept around. Maybe have all the married men come out to catch the bouquet, and give it to their wife? Married ladies catch the garter, and then the lady who catches it gets to push it up her husbands leg (over his pants, preferably. haha). Have it be a fun twist so your crowd still enjoys it.
Posted by MoonlightSilver[/QUOTE]

What a creative and cool idea!

walgrrl · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_bouquet-and-garter-toss-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:51dd6ec7-d431-4975-8a42-9c1453f2c15bPost:4c690675-f8c9-4e62-8aaf-1f5a9c93a935">Re: Bouquet and Garter toss question</a>:
[QUOTE]We're skipping the tosses because we have almost no single people. If you're really, really interested in doing it, you should twist the concept around. Maybe have all the married men come out to catch the bouquet, and give it to their wife? Married ladies catch the garter, and then the lady who catches it gets to push it up her husbands leg (over his pants, preferably. haha). Have it be a fun twist so your crowd still enjoys it.
Posted by MoonlightSilver[/QUOTE]

Very cute idea! I love it! Did you think of this or did you see it done at a wedding you attended?

catwine · June 2012

I photographed a wedding where the bride and groom had 'all the single people or those who wish they were single' participate. most of the guests wanted to have some fun so they joined in...even if they wern't single.

VioletSkies623 · June 2012

This may be a silly question, but doesn't "single" include people in relationships who are not yet married? I've been in a relationship each time I've tried to catch a friend's bouquet; same with many of the other people involved in the bouquet and garter tosses. The last wedding my fiance and I went to we both participated (and missed it by THAT much, but obivously that didn't matter, haha). At least that's how I've seen it done at the handful of weddings I've been to. I think the DJ also specified, "that includes all you unmarried folks" or something more tactful along those lines. (shrug) In the end isn't it about who is supposedly next? Engaged people or people in relationships can be next in line to get married.

I do agree with the PP's who mentioned that you need to know your crowd. Personally I'm still planning to do it at our wedding, but that's because I know a lot of people there who would enjoy participating. I also love the idea of the anniversary dance--very sweet!

missteacherlady · June 2012

We are not doing this at all at my wedding. I am 35, never been married, and have been uncomfortably coerced into participating in the bouquet toss in other weddings. We decided we did not want to make the few remaining single friends of ours feel uncomfortable. And...I want to keep my bouquet anyway :P

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