Moms and Maids

Friend angry that not asked to be in bridal party

I stood up in my college roommate's wedding as the maid of honor 7 years ago and now we have grown apart. I think the last time I saw her was over a year ago and we live 20 minutes apart. I recently received her RSVP for the wedding with a decline and found out she is so upset that I didn't ask her to be a bridesmaid that she will not attend my wedding. How do I go about this situation?

Re: Friend angry that not asked to be in bridal party

  • LambbopLambbop member
    First Comment

    Unless you want to address it with her directly, you might just have to accept the decline and move on.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_friend-angry-that-not-asked-to-be-in-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:e2c1679a-d7b5-4cbe-9f75-613e3c098359Post:7837849d-8d6e-4ed4-b8d3-601ddfa21523">Friend angry that not asked to be in bridal party</a>:
    [QUOTE]I stood up in my college roommate's wedding as the maid of honor 7 years ago and now we have grown apart. I think the last time I saw her was over a year ago and we live 20 minutes apart. I recently received her RSVP for the wedding with a decline and found out she is so upset that I didn't ask her to be a bridesmaid that she will not attend my wedding. How do I go about this situation?
    Posted by strwbrryshrtcake97[/QUOTE]

    You thank God that you have matured into an adult while she is still about 19.

    I was MOH and BM in many weddings and the only one of those girls in my WP was my SIL who was my MOH
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • Her feelings are hurt and she isn't mature enough to handle the situation on her own. Unless she says something to you directly, I vote you let it go and say "we will miss you."
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  • AthseaAthsea member
    First Comment
    I had a friend do the same thing to me. We've been friends since we were 5, but we've grown apart, as I've grown up and she really hasn't. I didn't ask her to be in my (small) bridal party, and she in turn told me she wouldn't be able to make it after receiving a save the date. Heard through the grapevine she was furious I hadn't asked her to be in the wedding. The only gracious thing to do is say "Sorry you can't make it, you'll be missed."
  • If she's someone you actually care about and don't mind talking to again, I would send her a message over email or Facebook.  It might be awkward, but not saying anything means you'll almost certainly never talk again, so mull that over.
  • I went through the same situation, except my friend didn't even have the courtesy to send the RSVP back. She told our mutual friends that she wasn't coming and that was it.

    Unfortunately, I ended up realizing that if she was this immature to care about something so petty, then it is probably best that the friendship has ended. If being a guest is not good enough for her, I don't have anything else to offer. In some ways, I miss her and I feel bad that it came to this point, but it felt good to let it go.

    That was my experience, I hope everything works out for you. GL!
  • It's ok if you don't ask her. Don't ask her for her sake- its your wedding and you can't let other people control it. I was a BM in a wedding and I lost touch with the bride and she's not even invited to my wedding now. People change and you can't do anything about it. As the other posters said, accept the decline, assure her you will miss her and that's it! I hope you have a wonderful wedding.
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