Registry and Gift Forum

Not Registering - Bad Idea?

My fiance' and I live together in a tiny cramped apartment in a city. We have two bedrooms and both closets are JAM-Packed and we can't put our foot in there. We have no place for storage. We store stuff under our beds, in the closet, in random places.

We have WAY too much stuff for this size home we live in. We have everything we need.

We have decided that we do not want to register for our wedding. Is that a bad idea? We'd rather people give us funds for our first house down payment since we're looking for a house next year. However, we're still completely content with the idea of not getting anything at all. Thelast thing we want is to get more stuff and have noplace to put them. We don't care much for dishes/fancy vases/etc. We'd rather wait until we have a space and then get them ourselves later when styles would change. (We both make good money).

We don't plan on putting anything on our websites or inviations about registery, because we're not registering. We do hope that those who want to give us something would at least call our parents to find out what we want or they'd get the hint and give us funds or nothing.

We don't want to sound greedy so we think saying nothing at all will work best. What do you think?

Re: Not Registering - Bad Idea?

  • Well you shouldn't mention gifts or a registry on the wedding invitations anyway, so if you don't register, just don't register.  If people ask you or your parents or wedding party where you're registered, you can say (and have your parents say) that you decided not to register because you two have everything you need and such a tiny apartment, but you are saving up for a house next year.  Leave it at that.  They'll either get the hint and give cash, or they'll just buy you something anything and then you can either keep it or return it. 
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  • If you are going on a honeymoon you can always do a honeymoon registry. there is one out there that is free and you can also add other stuff on there which you could use to get money for your down payment.

    the site has 100s of different pictures to select. so say you select the house picture. then you type a title for it and a description if you like and people can give you money for it without having to go out and ask for it.

    www.honeyfund.com

    check it out its free and the site doesnt see any money gift givers want to give you.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_not-registering-bad-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:57360ac5-b0b0-4222-9a20-9228dda4747fPost:19cd69c1-91cd-4d5b-8572-9bdd958705cb">Re: Not Registering - Bad Idea?</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you are going on a honeymoon you can always do a honeymoon registry. there is one out there that is free and you can also add other stuff on there which you could use to get money for your down payment. the site has 100s of different pictures to select. so say you select the house picture. then you type a title for it and a description if you like and people can give you money for it without having to go out and ask for it. <a href="http://www.honeyfund.com" rel="nofollow">www.honeyfund.com</a> check it out its free and the site doesnt see any money gift givers want to give you.
    Posted by qtpie0430[/QUOTE]

    A lot of people, and I mean a LOT of people, find those types of registeries to be extremely tacky.  I don't have much opinion on it either way, but I'm just letting you know.  If you ask about it on the Etiquette board, you'll get tons of feedback.
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  • I think you'd be wise not to register.  The couples I know who didn't register mostly got cash. 

    I advise against having a honeymoon registry; most people find them tacky.
  • I am not a fan of honeymoon registries.

    That being said, if you don't register be prepared to receive random "thoughtful" gifts.  Like a romantic mailbox birdhouse.
  • I think it's okay not to register.  Some people even believe registries are tacky.  Not just honeymoon registries, but wedding registries. Something about going out and picking out gifts for yourself doesn't sit well with some folks.

    I would not recommend the Honeymoon registry.  IMO it is tacky. 
  • If you don't do a registry, and spread the word that you are saving for a house, most people will take the hint and give you cash.  Some people just aren't comfortable giving cash, though, so if you don't have a registry, they will give you something random.  You may want to consider doing a super small registry with things like sheets and towels that get replaced for these people.  Or just don't have a registry, that's fine.

    In any event, don't do a honeymoon registry.  That's really tacky.
  • I wouldn't register. In fact, I don't want to register, but FI does. As long as you don't care that some people will likely get you physical gifts. So you could end up with a random vase or toaster or two.
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  • Would someone really give a toaster?  I know that's a running joke but I'm just speculating.. I wonder if someone plans on giving ME a toaster.  I've lived on my own for several years now, what- do people think I just haven't had toast for the last 36 months?

    But seriously, no registry = a BILLION picture frames.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_not-registering-bad-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:57360ac5-b0b0-4222-9a20-9228dda4747fPost:19f5b19f-aeed-471a-8b22-b455138b0daa">Re: Not Registering - Bad Idea?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Would someone really give a toaster?  I know that's a running joke but I'm just speculating.. I wonder if someone plans on giving ME a toaster.  I've lived on my own for several years now, what- do people think I just haven't had toast for the last 36 months? But seriously, no registry = a BILLION picture frames.
    Posted by jennylove810[/QUOTE]

     I kid you not, I have a former co-worker (and still good friend) who gives a red toaster to every friend that gets married. Not like we all don't already have one, but it's his tradition.

    Makes me laugh. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" />
  • i totally understand where you are coming from - having everything you need and not wanting more crap lol.  there really is no polite way to ask for money though - the only thing to do is tell your mom and his mom, and hopefully is people ask them (inevitably they will, because they will want to know where you are registered or what china pattern you picked) then hopefully the moms can pass the word.  that's the only thing you can really do, though.  if people buy you random stuff you could always write a thoughtful thank you note and then return it for the $.  i know this sounds totally aweful but i believe it's realistic. 
  • we did not register as we had a home and everything we needed.  we ended up with 95% cash adn gift cards.  family discreetly spread the word that's what we needed.  we also didnt have a shower, adn i advise taht you dont have one either if you are going to go this route.  a shower will only confuse people.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_not-registering-bad-idea?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:57360ac5-b0b0-4222-9a20-9228dda4747fPost:9b7913ec-0d8d-4bd3-87c9-64f3690c057b">Re: Not Registering - Bad Idea?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Not Registering - Bad Idea? : A lot of people, and I mean a LOT of people, find those types of registeries to be extremely tacky.  I don't have much opinion on it either way, but I'm just letting you know.  If you ask about it on the Etiquette board, you'll get tons of feedback.
    Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

    The honeymoon registry can be a very good idea.  My guests actually preferred that registry to the Target registry that we did.  It's simple and easy for guests to give gifts this way (and there's no sales tax!).  I suppose it all depends on your crowd.  My Honeyfund registry was a crowd pleaser.
  • We're in the same boat... we're also saving for a house and honestly... My mom, FIL and Godmother practically bought so much stuff for us, we don't really NEED a registry. The idea of one never really appealed to me. We were just going to tell our families to tell guests to give $$ if they ask.

    In terms of a honeymoon registries, I think most people find it interesting when they first hear about it. If you're the first couple they find out about it from, it may not be AS tacky as being the fifth couple who does it.

    Traditionally... it's the FI's job to pay for it so, yea asking guests to pay for your good time can seem a bit out of line. 

  • A charity registry could be a nice thing to do.  You can choose causes that are important to you and let guests give donations in your names.  We have one at justgive.org  Good luck!
  • We are in the same boat! We have EVERYTHING we need! If we did a registry, it would just be for upgrades, which I don't really care to do. The only thing we need is new bedding (and FMIL is buying me bedding for my Christmas present). Also, we are not having showers for this reason.

    I know a lot of people like to give gifts rather than money but what am I supposed to do? Register for stuff I don't need (and don't have room for)..? We would much rather get money and start an account for a down payment on a house. And if people don't want to give us anything, that's cool too. I just can't bring myself to go register for mixing spoons and dinner party crap. We don't host dinner parties and if we did, our guests wouldn't wince at eating off our non-chip Target plates Cool
  • I think it depends on who your guests are....

    If you're inviting a lot of your parents' traditional old school friends/relatives, they probably really, really want to get you a gift.  So for that reason, I'd say that it cant hurt to do a small registry.  It is true that a lot of people will give you cash if you don't have a registry, but I've learned your wedding is the one time where a lot of people truly want to give you a gift they think you want and can remember.  The generosity is really a once in a lifetime experience, so enjoy it!  
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