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How do I word my invitation?!? *Help*

SaltyStellaSaltyStella
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
cv I don’t know how to word something on my invitations. I’ve been looking online all morning but cannot find anything. My fiancé and I are covered in tattoos; we are out going, loud, happy, fun people. BUT when it comes to our wedding day, I want everything to be almost ‘black tie’ it is a Saturday night wedding at The Lake House Inn, in Perkasie PA. An evening wedding alone should suggest formal attire but our friends are not the type to know that. Being the kind of people we are I’m afraid that a lot of my fiancé’s friends will think this is a laid back, beer drinking celebration. I want my wedding to be formal, elegant, classy, and proper. I am terrified that someone will show up in a pair of jeans and one of those tuxedo picture T-Shirts because that is the kind of fun loving people that we and our friends are. But NOT on our wedding day. I would be MORTIFIED if that happened. How do I word on our invitations that this is formal attire only, jacket and tie required, no jeans sneakers or casual outfits. (I want all of that to be implied but know that I shouldn’t type it up just like I did there) Does anyone have any suggestions or advice for me?! Thank you so much for your time and attention!Liz
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Re: How do I word my invitation?!? *Help*

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    NotColloquialNotColloquial
    First Comment
    edited May 2011
    You cant. The formality of your invites will set the tone for your wedding. Pick elegant invites.

    Telling people how to dress is rude. They will look stupid if they show up in jeans, not you.

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    ADTonkADTonk
    First Comment
    Don't put it in the invite. 

    If they ask, tell them.  If you feel the need to bring it up, try to do it casually.  Maybe you could say "So-and-so, I can't wait to see what you look like all dressed up at the wedding!".. they'll get the point without feeling like you're lecturing them.
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    Mae0606Mae0606
    First Comment
    I see nothing wrong with "black tie affair" written on the bottom of the card. That way you do not sound tacky and people know how to dress. I have seen plenty of invites that say that as I work at a wedding venue, and guess dress appropriately.
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    emmmbeeeemmmbeee member
    First Comment
    Don't include it on the invite.  Set up a wedding website where that information can be housed.  Send out STDs and include the wedding website on there.  Not everyone will look at the website but a few will and the "formal attire" mention will spread by word of mouth.
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    DramaGeekDramaGeek member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_word-invitation-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b3ba3885-8871-4bc9-9584-79225b1ca2f9Post:9f0a8cf7-326d-4ff6-ab6a-17818f0fddad">Re: How do I word my invitation?!? *Help*</a>:
    [QUOTE]I see nothing wrong with "black tie affair" written on the bottom of the card. That way you do not sound tacky and people know how to dress. I have seen plenty of invites that say that as I work at a wedding venue, and guess dress appropriately.
    Posted by Mae0606[/QUOTE]

    Well, it's wrong if it's not really a black tie wedding.  Black tie means the men need to be in tuxes and ladies in levening gowns - think Oscars or Grammys.  It also means the hosts are providing top shelf everything.
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    snowydaisy19snowydaisy19 member
    First Comment
    I'm putting "Jacket and Tie Required" on mine since my side thinks "Formal" means tux and his it just means a nice suit so this is our happy compromise.  I went to a Jewish wedding that said "Black Tie Invite" once and no one that I saw beyond the wedding party wore tuxes so I think people just wear what they want but if you put required, maybe they'd get the hint.  Good luck!
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    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_word-invitation-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b3ba3885-8871-4bc9-9584-79225b1ca2f9Post:7f702fe8-b771-4aa1-946c-ac279833436f">Re: How do I word my invitation?!? *Help*</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm putting "Jacket and Tie Required" on mine since my side thinks "Formal" means tux and his it just means a nice suit so this is our happy compromise.  I went to a Jewish wedding that said "Black Tie Invite" once and no one that I saw beyond the wedding party wore tuxes so I think people just wear what they want but if you put required, maybe they'd get the hint.  Good luck!
    Posted by snowydaisy19[/QUOTE]

    This is just wrong. And essentially you're saying that people will read the invitation and do what they want anyway. So exactly what do you think being rude and lying to your guests accomplishes if you don't think people pay attention anyway?
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