moh issue

laurenoliveira23 · March 2012

So my fiance and I are having a really small wedding party because we arent having a huge wedding (and he doenst have a lot of male people to stand as a groomsmen)

I havent asked my second bridesmaid yet but I have asked my moh which is my fiances sister

I asked her bcs no one seemed to be excited for the wedding but her and she was taking initiative with all this planning stuff - giving me lots of ideas and such

This lasted about a week. Basically her spouse got upset that brandyn didnt ask him to be in the wedding and it became a huge drama fest - lots of issues regarding her spouse and my fiance started arising (money issues). I'm not going to get into anything but basically her spouse has screwed my fiance over a lot and now its allcoming to blows --- her spouse "cut us out" because my fiance finally stood up to him

Brandyns sister really doesnt have anything to do with us now- she really hasnt talked to me since my birthday .... 2 months ago and its just very stupid and frustrating because her spouse has been causing all this issues with her brother (im to blame apparenlty) and yea ... stupid bull****

I regret asking her to be my moh and would much rather choose one of my best friends or close cousins and now im stuck

also a month ago my fiances mom got mad at me because his sister apparenlty felt "thrown out" of the wedding and it just gets so ridiculous because nothing was ever said to me!!! i have tried to talk to her a couple times and once got ignored and the other time got a response that lead to nothing . at first I was kind of like well i asked her so just gotta stick with it but now after all this drama with being "cut out" and her not talking to us ... i feel i have every right to do tell her im choosing someone else. : /

i wouldnt do anything without my fiances permission either as this is his family but ugh this all just doesnt feel right at all

Sorry this post is so long

banana468 · March 2012

Don't choose someone else.

Imagine you're the other person - would YOU want to know that you're the 2nd string MOH?

Now imagine that you're FI's sister and it's a year later, all has blown over about the initial argument but she still remembers that she was pushed out of your WP for someone else. Do you want to deal with that for your marriage?

My advcie: ask people to be BMs and leave the MOH as is. If things work out then great. If not, you have BMs only.

laurenoliveira23 · March 2012

yes i was thinking that too (about the runner up moh) but my stepmom, mom and friends are telling me to tell her to "F off" haha

what i was worried about was that i only am having one other bridesmaid so i didnt want her to be shouldering all the planning for the shower and such (although my mom will probably help with this)

in the end ill probably just leave it because i hate being the one to cause the drama (that's their job lol)

KalikaDraumr · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-issue-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:f845731f-7b4f-4ec1-a9c1-8fc9d0c39db7Post:f40cf16c-feea-42b2-8328-aadd769e2a83">Re: moh issue</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't choose someone else. Imagine you're the other person - would YOU want to know that you're the 2nd string MOH? Now imagine that you're FI's sister and it's a year later, all has blown over about the initial argument but she still remembers that she was pushed out of your WP for someone else. Do you want to deal with that for your marriage? My advcie: ask people to be BMs and leave the MOH as is. If things work out then great. If not, you have BMs only.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

I agree. Also, you have a little over two years until your wedding. A lot can change! You never know what will happen, so let this situation work it's way to solving itself. You have time, which is a great thing, so don't rush or worry about whether you will be having a Moh or not, as well as asking friends to be bridemaids. I do hope things settle down and work out!

mbcdefg · March 2012

In Response to Re:moh issue:[QUOTE]yes i was thinking that too about the runner up moh but my stepmom, mom and friends are telling me to tell her to "F off" haha what i was worried about was that i only am having one other bridesmaid so i didnt want her to be shouldering all the planning for the shower and such although my mom will probably help with this in the end ill probably just leave it because i hate being the one to cause the drama that's their job lol Posted by laurenoliveira23[/QUOTE]

Well, that's exactly why you're not supposed to choose your bridal party based on what you think they can do for you.

Anyway, just don't argue with her or it'll strain the family relationship. Don't talk about this issue with other family members ... if they bring it up, say you'd rather not discuss it.

If she drops out, just go on with whoever is left. Don't replace her or boot a groomsman.

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