Moms and Maids

Need to Vent and would like some advice (sorry it's long)

My friend is getting married July 10th and everything has been such an issue

1) she wanted us to spend over $300 on a BM dress, and called us vain when we said we would rather just not be in the wedding (It was a mermaid style with buttons all the way down the back, and I am a size 24, I wouldn't have even fitted into the largest dress)~ We settled that by getting same material and same colors and long, fine...

2) She planned her own shower which ended up being a big cluster you know what. She did it at a resturant owned by her FI and we only had 2 hours and then we had to set up 2 rooms for dinner service, we didn't know this until we got there...

3) She has basically been ignoring all of the BMs except her sister (the MOH) and another BM who is older and is friends with her and her sister, leaving me and the other 2 BM in the dark. She will only discuss things with us on facebook and won't answer our calls and texts and plees to get together. Her b-party will be a surprise is SAturday night, hopefully we can all get along.

4) Here is where I need some advice. She just told me today (through facebook) that she is having the actual wedding ceremony on July 3rd in upper state NY (a 6 hour roundtrip) (This is the wedding with the preiest, the wedding on the 10th, is a "for show wedding" as they will have already been married a week) and she said the rehersal is on the 26th of this month, so much for any advanced warning. I probably could go on the 3rd, but she doesn't seem to care either way and it is a long drive on a holiday weekend, should I go or not? She says we have to let her know by tomorrow afternoon.

This whole wedding just seems to be backwards and me and 2 of the other BMs are beyond annoyed and can't wait for the wedding to be done and hpefully get our friend back....

Re: Need to Vent and would like some advice (sorry it's long)

  • AmynutritionAmynutrition member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    wow, poor kelly!!

    1. Mermaind BM dress?? who does that?
    2. Again, who does that?? It's your chance to have a party WITHOUT THE WORK! and she prob eats at her FI's parents place all the time anyway...
    3. Also strange, does she want you involved or not?

    I am confused by this, she is having TWO weddings? Or is the priest wedding on the 3rd informal/few people? Which are you supposed to wear the mermaid dress to?
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  • sparent2010sparent2010 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Lol depends on how good of friends you are.

    That is weird 2 weddings... wtf is a show wedding anyways. Is she helping out at all with travel overnight accomadation options?

    If it were me I wouldn't go
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  • edited December 2011
    That's a hot mess, isn't it.

    If she doesn't seem to care about whether you attend religious ceremony or not, why go through all the trouble? I think I would remember some long standing plans that I had for the holiday weekend, if I were you. The less involvement with this, the better.

    I wonder if her priest refused to marry them in the church if they go ahead with a  civil ceremony performed first.
                       
  • edited December 2011

    Her husband is greek orthodox, so from what she told me, it he doesn't get married in a certain kind of ceremony in a church he can get ex-communicated.

    They lived in upper state NY until about 6 months ago, so they are having a church service ceremony up there a week before the huge shin dig in CT, and then having a ceremony and reception down here. The "officiant" in the CT ceremony is the FI cousin's. So they will technically be married already, and I dont think they are telling any of the guests (over 200 people) that they are already married, they are letting them think that the wedding in CT is the real wedding.

    We have to wear the dresses to the CT one, we don't even have to go to the NY one if we don't want to, she doesn't seem to care if we don't go. I know my other 2 friends who are bridesmaids can't make it to the NY one. It would be up to us to pay for gas, and I don't think they are even staying the night. It would be drive up there and come home the same day.

  • sparent2010sparent2010 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    just forego it
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  • AmynutritionAmynutrition member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    ....so his religion is so important they're having a sham wedding so they can have a big party? wow. Is she going to raise her kids greek orthodox?

    She could have been honest with the guests: small religious wedding 7/3, reception 7/10, no big deal.

    I happen to think exchanging vows before your religious leader/God is MORE important than the show part but if they just want you at the party, go to the party wedding in CT. Does that mean you don't have to go to the rehearsal either or are there two rehearsals?  I can see why you want this all to be over!!

    Upstate NY is beautiful this time of year though :)


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  • LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    she sounds like a pain, and the whole upstate NY thing sounds like one big hassle. i wouldn't go.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Wow, she seems to care more about the parties and the reception and showing off then acutally being married.  A wedding and a marriage are two totally different things and I think she just wants to show-off for everyone.

    If I were you I would skip the ceremony on the 3rd because she doesn't really seem to care about it at all so why should you.

    I am sorry that you have been dealing with such a bridezilla.  Just tell yourself that it is almost over with and then you never have to deal with this crap again!

  • graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Wow. This is why every bride needs the knot. It sounds like this whole thing is just one big AW moment for her. If I were you, I'd only go to the one you originally said you would and forget the rest.

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  • veggienatveggienat member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    So weird!  Is she nice when she's not a bride?  I don't know is stress or whatever is keeping her from communicating with you, but maybe ask her straight up - is it important to you that I am there?
    I probably wouldn't bother with going if it is going to put me out.  It was inconsiderate of her to not let you in on the plan.
  • edited December 2011
    I'm just going to echo everyone else: WOW. Sounds like a Bridezilla and a half!
    First off, why anyone would choose a mermaid style dress, even their wedding dress is beyond me.  That has to be the fugliest style there is.

    Second, planning your own shower?  That just really seems kind of selfish. AND that she made you guys set up the dining rooms for dinner service is UNreal. Does this guy not have staff in his restaurant?

    Third, Don't bother with the 7/3 ceremony.  It's apparent that she doesn't care if any of you come, so why waste your time and money?  I have 2 weddings, yes 2 on 7/3 and I cannot tell you how PO'd I was when I found out that these weddings were on a holiday weekend.  That has got to be the worst thing you can do to your guests. One of the weddings is an hour and a half away too, which makes me crazy, even though the bride is from my hometown where her mother still lives.  The other is in a neighboring town so its not as bad. My FI and I are literally going to have to split up, I'm going to the one far away, he's going to the one here, and I will leave the far away one early and go to the other one. But still, to schedule your wedding on a holiday weekends is NOT cool.

    Say screw it, and go to the beach or a cookout and watch fireworks!
    Celebrate we will, cause life is short but sweet for certain....
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