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Oppinions about the first look

MiremberebeccaMiremberebecca
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in Military Brides

My fiance and I are getting married right after he graduates from basic (which I am unfortunately unable to attend). Because we don't know what time he'll be getting home the Friday of his graduation and the wedding is on Saturday, we might not get to see eachother until the wedding. We both love the idea of saving our "first look" until I walk down the aisle, but we didn't really realize that it will most likely be the first time we'll have seen eachother in months. I talked to him about it, and we both thought that this might be kind of neat to save this as an extra special moment but I'm just wondering if it will be TOO emotional. Any oppinions?

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Re: Oppinions about the first look

  • mysticlmysticl member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    That's a hard one.  FI and I are a fan of not seeing each other till the walk down the aisle.  However, if he was just coming back into port after an underway or deployment I'm not sure there's anything you could do to stop me from making a beeling to him as soon as he was back. 
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  • ScissortailFlycatcherScissortailFlycatcher
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    edited December 2011
    What branch is he in? He's allowed to come home the night he graduates from basic?
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  • Killer CupcakeKiller Cupcake
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We did it. On accident.

    We got engaged, H joined the Marines, he left for boot camp and was supposed to graduate a week before the wedding. 

    (BTW, don't plan this way. It's not good.)

    He got sick and was held back a week. So he graduated the morning of the wedding and flew into town a few hours before.

    We saw each other for the first time in 4 months as I was coming down the aisle (He lived in another state at the time, so I didn't get to see him when he left for boot). 

    It was fun. I had the giggles, so it wasn't too overwhelming for me. If you cry at the drop of a hat, it might be a little intense though. It's all up to your personalities. 
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  • iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_oppinions-first-look?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:886b2017-7e4f-421a-9178-85eba467e2b2Post:5fd25338-cea9-4264-b439-1e35f04457f3">Re: Oppinions about the first look</a>:
    [QUOTE]What branch is he in? He's allowed to come home the night he graduates from basic?
    Posted by hattieshay[/QUOTE]
    This is my question.  I've never known anyone to come home right after Basic unless they were going home to finish high school.  Do you mean he is comming home after AIT or Tech School?  Is he AD or is he Reserves/Guard?  If he is AD there is no guaruntee that he will come home for the two weeks after graduation.  You have to be put in for that through your Drill Sergeants.  They only choose the top people to do that.  I wouldn't plan on that.  If he is AD, I would wait and plan your wedding after he gets to his duty station.
    If he is in the Guard or Reserves, then you are safe to plan around him graduating from AIT/Tech School.  Just remember to account for a drill weekend.
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  • Killer CupcakeKiller Cupcake
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The Marines are granted 10 days leave (or more if they do RA) after boot camp before they leave for MCT or SOI. 
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    "So if you decide to date the guy from Applebees instead will your new SN be "mypearlshisapron?" Your new sig can be "putting the ho in nachos.""- DNBeach12
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  • MiremberebeccaMiremberebecca
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sorry, I meant OSUT graduation. He's in the Army.
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  • iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    Is he Active Duty Army?  If he is, he may not get leave after graduation.  Only a select few get that. 
    If he is Reserves or Guard, then I think the waiting until you see each other could be a cute idea.  How special would that be?  I would do it. 

    Having been through OSUT, I think that having a wedding the day after graduation will be a bit hard on him.  That's a lot to deal with after all the stress from training.  Just something to think about. 

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't know. Personally, when I graduated from basic training and my family came to visit me that weekend (we were NOT allowed to leave the area or go home) my family kept saying I was weird and asking what was wrong with me, etc. When you finished with intense training like that you are so use to having to be quiet and supress your emotions, kinda in zombie mode. At least it was like this for me, My fiance is the same way. He just got back from Army Ranger school in March and was just a little out of it for a few days.
    Its all up to you though and whatever makes you happy! Good Luck
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  • Belle2BeBelle2Be member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_oppinions-first-look?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:886b2017-7e4f-421a-9178-85eba467e2b2Post:98b35878-05b3-4a1d-85a5-12914e4a7b23">Re: Oppinions about the first look</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't know. Personally, when I graduated from basic training and my family came to visit me that weekend (we were NOT allowed to leave the area or go home) my family kept saying I was weird and asking what was wrong with me, etc. When you finished with intense training like that you are so use to having to be quiet and supress your emotions, kinda in zombie mode. At least it was like this for me, My fiance is the same way. He just got back from Army Ranger school in March and was just a little out of it for a few days. Its all up to you though and whatever makes you happy! Good Luck
    Posted by ashwee356[/QUOTE]
    This EXACTLY.
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  • catemegcatemeg
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you can, I would totally agree with these ladies to put planning on hold.  There is no way he's going to be emotionally up for a wedding the day after graduation.

    The same day my boyfriend graduated from Marine OCS, we had to start driving south as he started law school 1,000 miles away in 2 days (in this case, we knew he'd be able to leave since he had orders to go to law school as a JAG).  I wouldn't even trust him to drive the whole 3 days we were driving - he was just too wacked out.  It was great to see him and be with him, but he was definitely weird.  It was like he had been in a time capsule as he hadn't known anything going on in the weeks before.  We had the radio on and they were talking about Michael Jackson's funeral, and he started freaking out that Michael Jackson had died (3 weeks prior).

    He's not going to be able to do a rehearsal, he's not going to be able to handle any last minute details.  I can't possibly imagine getting married a day after graduation from training.  If you can reschedule, please do!
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  • bintmejnunabintmejnuna member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Just an opposing viewpoint on the whole reschedule thing.  My H and got married two days after he graduated from OCS, after an 8 month separation.  I had also just gotten back from deployment.  We both handled it fine.  It really depends on the person as far as how well they can handle transitioning back to daily life. (I'm not saying this makes anyone better than anyone else I'm just saying people all handle things differently)
    I think the saving the first look for the wedding could be really sweet and emotional, and make the day that much more special, but personally i probably would have broken down and been a blubbering idiot :)  Again, it all depends on how you two think you would react.   
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