Please be advised this is a rant. Also i may jump aroud.
I don't have a close relationship with my mother. When i left for college i was glad to get away from her. She hasn't done anything bad to me. She just annoys me. Alot.
I dont really want to have her involved more then she has to be for the wedding. Her and my father came to the initial venue tour.(in October) Now i have another tour booked in May with my inlaws to see the grounds in the wedding month.(so they get a chance to see the grounds as well) I told her and she wants to come too. I told her i dont really want 6 people there , it'll over whelm me (my mother in law is very opionionated and my mother doesnt really like her, when ever i listen to MIL my mother always mopes and complains that i dont pay attention to her ideas.)and she said she'll keep her mouth shut, ect. I just dont want her there, as i cant stand being around her for more then a couple of hours.
She is paying for some things, such as half my dress, the cake my jewlery and bouquet. So i know i have to let her have some say in things (she said i could do what ever i want with the money her self.) But i dont want her around for everything. I dont really want her around when i pick my dress.She said that im depriving her of major events of my life. I dont like spending time with her. Its unpleasent for me.
She wants to be involved with everything and i simply want to do things my self. I told her this and she said im being selfish and that the wedding is her day too.
Another thing thing is she wants to throw us an engagment party. We dont have alot of friends, most of the wedding is family, so she figured she's invite all her friends, who i dont exactly talk to or see. She said that she would invite my friends too but i know we wont enjoy our selves. My fiance isnt the social type and he cant stand her friends. I told her i probly wont go and she said im going if she has to drive 2 hours to pick me up and haul me there her self. It pisses me off beyond belief beecause i am 19 and have been living out of her house hold for 2 years.
When ever i tell her i dont like an idea of her's she always says "well you like your mother in laws ideas" or "im older," or "Im your mother, dont talk back to me" where as i am not talking back to her, just voicing my opinion. I feel like im being treated like a 10 year old. I have told her this and she always replys "well, your my oldest, i worry, ect ect"
I honestly dont like my mother. I love my father to bits but i want to stay away from her for as long as possible. She gets upset when i dotn call her every 2 weeks. My fiance cant stand her as well and had told me that if she does move closer, he will pack up and we will move to another city. I agree with him. Im fine with only seeing her every 4 months for a few hours.
My mother wants to be involved with my life and i have waited a very very long time to get her out of it.
Just a note for everyone, i dont know who might flame me. I am 19, i understand that i am young, i have my whole life ahead of me ect ect. Please dont post unless you are giving me some advice about the situation about my mother. I have been with this wonderful man for 4 years ands we have been over alot of bumps in the roadtogether. Getting over them just makes me love him more. By the time we are married next year we would of been together for 5 years.
So please, does any one have any advice? Am i being selfish? Are there any other people out there who feels the same way about my mother.