Save The Dates-Not inviting children

kshaban · December 2009

I am sending out my save the dates with my Christmas cards this year (very soon) and I normally would address the cards to So and So and Family if they have children or include the child's name if they have one child. However for my wedding, I do not plan on inviting most children. Does this make a difference with how I address the Christmas Cards/Save the Dates? Should I exclude children from these if I do not plan on inviting them formally?

danieliza1127 · December 2009

That's tricky. I think if I were in that situation, I wouldn't send the save the dates with the xmas cards. If you put "and Family" then they're going to assume that applies to the save the date as well. Normally if you aren't inviting children, you would just address to the adults only, but that could still be misconstrued since you're sticking it in a xmas card. I think if I were you I would just send the xmas cards to the families and wait a couple of weeks to send the STD cards.

BecW2be · December 2009

I would definitely send the STDs in January. It will cost more in postage, but there will be no confusion as to who will be invited.

betrothed123 · December 2009

First, I'd liek to caution you against sending STDs with Christmas cards. They are more likely to get losrt in the mail, or at the home, admist the Christmas cards.

That having been said, if you do not plan on inviting the children, you must change the way you address your cards. You cqan not include their names on the STDs (or the envelopes they come in) if you don't plan on inviting them.

aragx6 · December 2009

I'd be concerned with them getting misplaced during the holiday rush and ruckus, too. Wait until January when everything has settled down and all the Christmas cards have been put or, (perhaps more likely) thrown away.

Lyss5782 · December 2009

I just sent mine with holiday cards...they were a magnet so I think they'd are less likely to be tossed aside (and if I'm wrong, oh well!).

Anyway, I addressed the envelopes to the parents only. Then on the inside of the cards I wrote something like, "Dear Ross and Rachel, Happy holidays to you and your beautiful family, etc. etc."

My website clearly says that we are having an adult cocktail reception and to let me know if they need help arranging for childcare, so I think it should be okay. Plus my family/most friends already know we are not having kids PLUS the real invites will only be addressed to the parents.

Hope this helps!

TheSaltyPeanut · December 2009

I agree with Dani... if you are not inviting children, I wouldn't send the STD with the Christmas card.

squirrly · December 2009

I also would not send the STD with the Christmas card, for all the reasons above. If you must, though, you could put the STD in a separate envelope with just the invited guests names on it (ilke inner envelopes for invites) and enclose that within the outter Christmas card envelope.

Really, though - mail them separately in January.

kshaban · December 2009

Thanks so much for all of your replies! All of you have been really helpful, I have decided to just send cards now and save the dates in January to be safe. Can't believe I didn't think about all this till I was about to print address labels lol. Thanks again!

banana468 · December 2009

FWIW, please don't print labels either. For correspondence with wedding related matters, everything should be written by hand.

Clare13 · December 2009

I have to disagree with many people here. We just sent our save the date Christmas post cards and everyone we have seen and talked to has LOVED the idea. In this economy most people are looking for ways to cut costs. We knew we could save money and do both together. If they get lost, oh well its a save the date not the invitation. We did however address the cards to just the people invited to the wedding. So do what you want. Remember its your wedding. There is not much etiquette on Save the Dates.

ScarletGem · December 2009

There is etiquette with STDs, a lot of people just ignore it.

And be careful with how much you rely on the wedding website getting important info to the guests; most people won't visit the website, and if they do they might not get the information you want them to get from it.

Edit: Clare, I don't mean to say that you necessaily broke any etiquette on STDs, just that in general it can't be said that there are few rules governing that sort of correspondence.

betrothed123 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_save-dates-not-inviting-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:86eb931e-4eac-4e1b-8d2d-737f30f43f7ePost:93e01d94-e547-4221-86f2-69f54031dba5">Re: Save The Dates-Not inviting children</a>:
[QUOTE]There is not much etiquette on Save the Dates.
Posted by Clare13[/QUOTE]

WRONG! There's a good deal of etiquette surrounding most things in life, and STDs are no exception.

banana468 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_save-dates-not-inviting-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:86eb931e-4eac-4e1b-8d2d-737f30f43f7ePost:93e01d94-e547-4221-86f2-69f54031dba5">Re: Save The Dates-Not inviting children</a>:
[QUOTE] So do what you want. Remember its your wedding. There is not much etiquette on Save the Dates.
Posted by Clare13[/QUOTE]

That's incorrect. There is absolutely proper etiquette with how to handle STDs just as there is with any other wedding related items.

And yes, remember that it may be your wedding however that means it's up to you to make the proper impression upon your guests.

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