Who to invite?

wmt6760 · December 2011

I would love to invite as many people as humanly possible but my budget won't allow it! I only want about 75-100 people to attend so how do I choose who to keep on the list and whom I can exclude from it?

cebrady89 · December 2011

This is what we did. We had to cut down from about 500 to only 240, so it was tough!

1. Make a list of everyone you want to invite - everyone and anyone you've ever imagined being at your wedding, don't worry about the number.

2. Highlight on that list your "must haves" - parents, grandparents, best friends, siblings, close family, etc.

3. Highlights your "would like to haves" - other friends, extended family

4. Add up those highlighted people

5. Look at who is left on your list - where would you categorize those people? If you have room in your total number after adding the two lists, start adding from these leftovers.

We did things this way, and cut out a HUGE number of people. It still took a lot of refining past this to get our list down, but starting from everyone we wanted and then looking at who we actually would love to see at the wedding made it easier to make cuts.

Good luck!

TiffannieF · December 2011

Similar to PPs advice I read to make your list and start putting a number by each person. 1-people that HAVE to be invited (parents, grandparents, siblings, etc) 2-people you SHOULD invite (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc) 3-people who it would be nice to have them there. Our initial guest list was over 300 and I got ours down to 100 with that. You can consider not allowing single friends to bring a date (address invite only to them). I don't really recommend it because I know I wouldn't want to go to a wedding alone not to mention some of them might start a relationship with somebody between your guest list and the wedding (my step bro started dating a girl 2 week before invites went out, my step mom made this huge deal I had to invite her...they broke up like 3 days after the wedding). However we knocked out like 20 people on our guest list because our single friends didn't bring a date. You can also consider no children (really helps). It's hard to make these decisions and there was a good handful of people we didn't invite that we were bummed about but that's what happens when the bride & groom are responsible for it and nobody helps out. GL. Other than money, the guest list was the most stressful part of wedding planning for me (and getting the rsvp's).

kmmssg · December 2011

Also, consider things like would you have this person over to dinner in your home if it weren't a holiday? Do you at least exchange Christmas cards with this person? If we are talking relatives, when is the last time you saw this person? I have relatives who wouldn't know me or my DDs if we met on the street.

ehenry010 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invite-13?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:9fa624ef-926e-41be-a5d7-a6e8cfc71f09Post:2b6534d5-3e9c-4711-b5fb-80c1e206afbe">Re: Who to invite?</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, consider things like would you have this person over to dinner in your home if it weren't a holiday? Do you at least exchange Christmas cards with this person? If we are talking relatives, when is the last time you saw this person? I have relatives who wouldn't know me or my DDs if we met on the street.
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

<div>This is what we did. It worked really well.</div>

volleygurl0306 · December 2011

If you have a huge family, it gets very testy to cut people. The guest list is the first time I ever felt frustrated towards my FMIL thru the wedding planning because she told everyone about the wedding and insisted we invite them all. My FI is not close with his family so I told him the rule of thumb was if when we walked around to tables to say thank you for coming he couldn't introduce me to someone because he doesn't know who they are, they probably shouldn't be on the list! How embarrassing would it be "thanks whoever you are for coming to the wedding. How do I know you?". I think not giving singles plus ones is okay. Even if they started dating someone it can't be that serious between when invites go out and the wedding (3 months max). You may have to add dates between now and when the invites go out (someone gets engaged, moves in together, new SO) so give yourself some cushion room.

TiffannieF · December 2011

The guest list is not created when you do invitations it's create your budget so you know how many you can afford, which is why I advise against not allowing single friends not bringing a date. Also I agree with the same thing. There were several cousins I did not invite because I never talk to them.

Who to invite?

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