Large WP

Ccsvball05 · August 2010

I have always liked to be friends with everyone and I have many close friends and family members. Because of this I have 11 bridesmaids, 11 groomsmen, 1 junior bridesmaid, 2 flower girls, and a ring bearer.......I know this sounds like alot, but do you think it sounds like too many? They are all very special to me and I want them all to be in the wedding. Also, I may have to make two rows of the bridesmaids and groomsmen for them all to be able to fit......do you think this will look ok? Thanks for the input.

CA2MT4EveR · August 2010

I think two rows is just a little too much. How many guests are you inviting. I would cut the list down to 7 at the most, and just allow the rest to come as guests. No jobs necessary.

vsgal · August 2010

In my opinion, that is overkill. It is way to many.I would edit it down. It looks like you would have an entourage instead of a wedding party. To me, you are diluting the honor of standing at your wedding by having so many. It just doesn't look like a special place of honor.

I know that all of these people are very important to you, but you have to really ask yourself a couple of questions:

1. Am I asking them because I feel obligated?
2. Am I asking them because their feelings will get hurt?
3. Is everyone that is in the wedding party someone that I would bury a dead body with at 3:00 am?

If you answer yes to the first two questions, then that will give you an opportunity to trim. If you answer yes to the last question, then they are in the party.

If you decide that you can cut the wedding party, do not give them crap jobs instead. These include personal attendant, guest book attendant, gift table attendant. Have them do a reading, usher or invite them as a guest. Keep in mind that being a guest is an honor as well.

Of course, this is all for not if you have already asked or hinted to everybody that they will be in the wedding then you are set in the number. You can't unask anybody.

mbcdefg · August 2010

If you already asked them to be in the wedding party, then you can't go back on that now. Or are you saying that you have all these people in mind, but you haven't asked them yet and are unsure what to do?

Don't worry about how things will look. Worry about how people will feel, and also worry about how much you want to take on. You need to buy flowers for all these people, as well as thank you gifts, and rehearsal dinner meals for them and their significant others and the kids' parents. You need to get a limo or bus big enough to transport everyone, and if you're having a head table then their significant others need to be included as well. You need to get 12 women to agree on a dress. You will need to wrangle everyone for the formal photos.

If you really want to do it, of course you can, but it just sounds like absolute chaos to me. I would personally raise an eyebrow as a wedding guest if I saw over 20 people in the wedding party, but hey, it ain't my wedding. And it's not hurting anyone. So it's your and your FI's call.

Some suggestions to make it easier on yourself:

* You do not need to have even sides. Do you honestly just so happen to have 11 close friends each? Each of you should ask your closest friends, so if that means that you have all 12 girls and your FI has 5 guys, that is perfectly fine.

* Are siblings included in this group? You could always keep the wedding party to family members only, to keep it more simple. Friends will understand this.

* As far as selecting dresses, I would HIGHLY suggest picking a designer in everyone's price range, then selecting a color/length/fabric, and letting them pick their own styles from there. That way, they still look coordinated but you don't need to come up with one dress choice for 12 women (whom I'm sure are all different shapes and sizes). Getting 12 women to agree on one dress sounds like a nightmare to me. People here with only 4 or 5 bridesmaids have enough problems doing that, nevermind 12.

* Nix the head table, and have a sweetheart table for you and your FI. Or sit with your parents, or your siblings and their dates, or the Best Man and MOH and their dates.

* Consider cutting the kids from the wedding party.

* Only have the Best Man and MOH up on the altar/front area with you, and everyone else can sit in the first row on each side after they walk down the aisle. This is what Catholic weddings do, rather than have everyone stand up front.

Do what you want ... but honestly, if you haven't already asked them to be in your wedding party, then I'd really reconsider.

balasj · August 2010

Ditto vsgal!

aerinpegadrak · August 2010

Ditto malphabet. If you've already asked, then you're stuck with them. If you haven't asked everyone, I'd cut it down; I know most people tend to side-eye anything over 6 or so unless the couple have huge families.

I think that sounds like way, way too many people up at the altar. If you've already asked all 25 people, I'd have everyone but your honor attendants seated during the ceremony.

loop0406 · August 2010

I think that's too many.

Summerl30 · August 2010

I'd have them all sit in the front row after walking down the aisle during the ceremony too and just have your moh and bm stand up with you during the service.

stina93446 · August 2010

Did you already ask? If you did, you're stuck with that number.

BUT, if you haven't asked yet, I think 11 on each side is too many.

quotequeen · August 2010

I think it's WAY too many.

mysticl · August 2010

vsgal that is a good test. Now I wouldn't bury a dead body with 2 of my bridesmaids because they are my tween nieces and that would make me a bad influence...........but when they hit adulthood.

shori140 · September 2010

I think that's a lot but if you really want them to be than its your wedding so do it. I have seen a wedding that had 25 people on each side. Thats really crazy but it worked nice and their pictures with everyone looked good. Sometimes having more people in the party can be more of a hassle and sometimes add to the drama. Also since you would have to buy them thank you gifts that means the more people you have the more money you will spend.

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