Guests Attire...Need Help!

ishandwhatnot · April 2010

How do I address to my guests that I don't want them to wear any jeans or jean material, sweat pants, anything that is "cut off" (i.e. daisy duke like shorts ), no casual everyday wear of t-shirts and jeans. I don't mind khakis(or even cloth shorts) and a nice shirt with a nice pair of shoes (or even a pair of chucks) for the guys and respectable wear for the ladies (no barely there skirts or dresses with you butts & boobs hanging out--I'd like them in dresses, skirts, pants,capris--sort of dressy ya know?) without it being dictated to them what they can & cannot wear. I've been to several weddings around here where the guests have worn sweats or holy jeans & club like tops. I don't have many guests that would do this, but there are a few that I would worry about. Any suggestions please?

Lady-J

quotequeen · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_guests-attireneed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:62e3266d-0248-48c5-911d-6622c28ee2d0Post:7f659a42-4e47-43fa-a8ef-0f798a678370">Guests Attire...Need Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]How do I address to my guests that I don't want them to wear any jeans or jean material, sweat pants, anything that is "cut off" (i.e. daisy duke like shorts ), no casual everyday wear of t-shirts and jeans. I don't mind khakis(or even cloth shorts) and a nice shirt with a nice pair of shoes (or even a pair of chucks) for the guys and respectable wear for the ladies (no barely there skirts or dresses with you butts & boobs hanging out--I'd like them in dresses, skirts, pants,capris--sort of dressy ya know?) <strong>without it being dictated to them what they can & cannot wear</strong>. I've been to several weddings around here where the guests have worn sweats or holy jeans & club like tops. I don't have many guests that would do this, but there are a few that I would worry about. Any suggestions please? Lady-J
Posted by ishandwhatnot[/QUOTE]

I don't understand - you want to dictate what they can wear without dictating what they can wear? It is generally considered inappropriate to tell your guests how to dress. They are adults and should be able to figure it out for themselves. If they can't do that, they probably aren't going to listen to whatever direction you give anyway.

jagore08 · April 2010

You have to trust the people you invite to your wedding know how to appropriately dress themselves for a wedding. I'm assuming they are all adults (and if they're not that their parents would tell them how to dress for a wedding) and as adults, they get to pick what they wear.

BostonGayGal · April 2010

There is no appropriate way to tell them what to wear. The least inappropriate way would be to ask them in conversation if they have chosen an outfit yet.

psichick · April 2010

i'm so calling a troll on this one

hippie4yahweh · April 2010

sweat pants? Daisy Dukes?? No flipping way. If that's the attire that your friends & family consider appropriate for a wedding you need new friends.

Ditto on the troll.

SheDiva4 · April 2010

If you want to follow traditional rules you should not indicate on the invitation how your guests should dress.

But if you are only worried about a handful of people I would just talk to them and ask them what are they wearing? If they say jeans and, suggest kindly they try slacks and a button down.

Unfortunately I will have to speak to to several of my guests as if they do no show up in a coat and tie they will not be allowed in our reception location, or have to wear one that's been around since 1950!

AmandaK2010 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_guests-attireneed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:62e3266d-0248-48c5-911d-6622c28ee2d0Post:d49ff18c-def6-4bad-b8ef-3032fcab5d53">Re: Guests Attire...Need Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]sweat pants? Daisy Dukes?? No flipping way. If that's the attire that your friends & family consider appropriate for a wedding you need new friends.
Posted by hippie4yahweh[/QUOTE]

This is a <strong>rude</strong> comment. In some parts of the country, that is the norm or even acceptable. She didn't say it is her friends, and if it is her friends, it is good that she doesn't judge them based on their clothing.

Sometimes, people just wear inappropriate things. It is usually your cousin's date or your parent's friends' kid or something. In that case, there is nothing you can do but spread the word that this is a formal affair.

jeanna85 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_guests-attireneed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:62e3266d-0248-48c5-911d-6622c28ee2d0Post:45ab4cc3-6f18-4a99-9e1c-90fae3b2cfbd">Re: Guests Attire...Need Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Guests Attire...Need Help! : This is a rude comment. In some parts of the country, that is the norm or even acceptable. She didn't say it is her friends, and if it is her friends, it is good that she doesn't judge them based on their clothing. Sometimes, people just wear inappropriate things. It is usually your cousin's date or your parent's friends' kid or something. In that case, there is nothing you can do but spread the word that this is a formal affair.
Posted by AmandaK2010[/QUOTE]

dear god. im glad im from new york. that's outrageous that it may be "the norm" in some places.

ishandwhatnot · April 2010

Thanks Ladies! I appreciate all the help! I believe I will put "cocktail attire" on the invites. Sometimes I just have a 'moment' where my brain doesn't comprehend simple terms & I stress out & way over think things...lol

AmandaK2010 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_guests-attireneed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:62e3266d-0248-48c5-911d-6622c28ee2d0Post:de4291f2-c7ac-430e-b332-e22179893630">Re: Guests Attire...Need Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Guests Attire...Need Help! : dear god. im glad im from new york. that's outrageous that it may be "the norm" in some places.
Posted by jeanna85[/QUOTE]

I never said it was a good thing. It's just culturally different. In some areas weddings are not an extravagent affair, just a celebration of love and marriage.

CourtneyBC · April 2010

I understand your concern. I don't think anyone I know would do that, and I don't think anyone my FH would do that, either. However, at my best friend's wedding, her own father and other family members showed up in jeans. She was a little upset. Oddly, her fiance was even more upset. (If he had his way, they would have had a $30,000 black tie affair. He agreed to settle for a smaller, coctail attire affair, but no one actually showed up dressed that nicely.)

Guests Attire...Need Help!

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