BM shoes

MyNameIsNot · September 2010

Ok, so for years, I've been telling brides to not worry about BM shoes, that they don't matter, yada yada. And now here I am.

I'm in a wedding in 3 weeks. Until now, the bride has said zilch about shoes. She's normally super laid back, and is actually wearing burkenstocks herself, so I never even thought to care. Until this week.. she just sent out an email that she wants us to wear matching ugly shoes. And they are $45. Normally, $45 for shoes doesn't bother me. But not if I'm never going to wear them again!

I just took my dress to be altered, and it's going to be about that much itself. I am not amused.

I don't need advice or anything. I just want to complain.

mgietler76 · September 2010

Yeah I have two pairs of dyed bridal shoes, one in cornflower blue and the other in read that I paid easily over $50 for each. I was not amused either, it sux that people do this to their WP.

emilyinchile · September 2010

That's super short notice. I'd be tempted to say "oh wow, I actually already bought shoes since we hadn't talked about it - do you think these might work?" and send her a picture of the shoes you were planning on wearing.

MyNameIsNot · September 2010

I'm passive aggressive and immature. I immediately ran to my sister (who is also a BM) and asked her what she was going to do. She'd already talked to another BM.

We're all going to tell her individually that we can't afford them. I feel kind of bad, because technically I could, but I don't want to spend that much money on shoes I don't like.

Manwaithiel · September 2010

Well you're not requried to spend money if you don't want to. You bought the dress. Your money duties are done.

TheCranberry · September 2010

If she's wearing birkenstocks, why does she care so much about what shoes the BMs wear? Not to be bitchy, but it's not like she's going to be at the height of fashion herself.

gottahavashorti · September 2010

Link?

lalap69 · September 2010

This is one of my biggest WP-related pet peeves. Good luck getting the bride to reconsider! (Also, I kind of want to see the shoes too, haha.)

MyNameIsNot · September 2010

MyNameIsNot · September 2010

There they are. I don't have a store pic, just her phone pic.

All of the BMs are on pretty tight budgets, and it is short notice, so I know she's going to get over it. I just really didn't expect it coming from her. I really think someone is putting this crap in her head.

I'm still trying to convince her that we should just be barefoot. I mean, it's outside, and she's freaking mother nature.

gottahavashorti · September 2010

Are they heels? Tell her you're scared of sinking in the grass and can't purchase another pair of shoes right now.

filaw · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-shoes-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:c5e32a78-3796-4b78-8ad8-fdbc7b4119dcPost:598612b4-36d0-4e69-a3f1-f325becfdf11">Re: BM shoes</a>:
[QUOTE]I just had mine wear black heels. Three showed up on nearly identical sling black peep toes though, that was funny.
Posted by KaylaSue19[/QUOTE]

<div>The same thing happened to me. I told them "gold" in absolutely whatever style made them comfortable. Most of them showed up in this towering gladiator style shoes. They were pretty cool looking. So much so, my photographer caught a pic during the ceremony.</div><div>
</div><div>
<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/15/2/3fccff72-82c4-453d-a238-f2874bcb70ae.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '3fccff72-82c4-453d-a238-f2874bcb70ae', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/15/2/3fccff72-82c4-453d-a238-f2874bcb70ae.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
</div>

aerinpegadrak · September 2010

Man, those are weird looking. I like Emily's suggestion. If she still doesn't relent, I say you all mutiny. Just wear whatever, and see if she even notices. But I'm bitchy like that.

megk8oz · October 2010

Honestly, if you don't want to buy them, why should you feel bad that you can technically afford them? We tell brides every. single. day. that BMs are entitled to spend (Or not spend) their money on whatever they want ... and that requiring them to buy specific shoes is just anal retentive and silly.

I get that she's your friend and you love her ... but yeah, you're not obligated to wear her ugly, expensive shoes just because it's her "spashul day". I vote you and the other BMs carry forth in your plans to mutiny.

bablingbrooke · October 2010

Just say no. If she boots you over shoes then she isn't much of a friend. Just because you CAN afford it doesn't mean you have to spend the money on them.

KaylaSue19 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-shoes-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:c5e32a78-3796-4b78-8ad8-fdbc7b4119dcPost:5d92195c-2892-462b-9b55-3e526dc8d134">Re: BM shoes</a>:
[QUOTE]Not only are those ugly, but I personally COULDN'T wear them. I have wide feet and high arches and those strappy shoes with the narrow sole in the middle just flat out don't fit my feet.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

That's my problem too.

If you go to her first and she tries to tell you to still buy them I am partial to the mutiny idea.

KaylaSue19 · October 2010

Stage! I saw that post too and said "Wow those look almost exactly like those hideous shoes in the BM shoes post". Ha

KaylaSue19 · October 2010

Yeah, they would not be comfortable for me. They would also look awful on my feet. People need to stop worrying about BM's having matching shoes. Pick a color, let them find their own, and be done with it.

aerinpegadrak · October 2010

The first thing that struck me about the shoes on that Attire post was, "Wow, my mom has like eight pairs of shoes exactly like that."

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