Pre-wedding Parties

I know Im being ungreatful but I need to vent

So my FI and I have been engaged for 9 months and the wedding date isnt until next year, and for the past 8 months everyone in his family is insisting that we let them throw an engagement party. However when my Parents threw an engagement party they all had other things to do and didnt make it.  We are both very simple people and dont really need all the attention. Im getting overwelmed with all the events that my family is making me do and I really dont want another party. Im getting the the point of just wanting to run to Vegas or better yet City Hall on our lunch break. I love my FI and cant wait to call him husband, but the wedding stuff is driving me crazy. 

I know that Ill just suck it up and let the families do what that want, Im not a push over just picking my battles. Thanks for letting me vent.  

Re: I know Im being ungreatful but I need to vent

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    You can politely decline any party that you don't want. But you are smart to pick your battles. If the engagement party for his side of the family is important to them, then just go along with it. Let both sides know that you are starting to feel 'partied out' though, so they don't start planning multiple showers.
                       
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_im-being-ungreatful-but-need-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:a02a22e4-94fa-4cda-8abf-05b717bfef27Post:ca24106c-d1f0-4b8b-97e2-34fc89efc53a">I know Im being ungreatful but I need to vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]So my FI and I have been engaged for 9 months and the wedding date isnt until next year, and for the past 8 months everyone in his family is insisting that we let them throw an engagement party. However when my Parents threw an engagement party they all had other things to do and didnt make it.  We are both very simple people and dont really need all the attention. Im getting overwelmed with all the events that my family is making me do and I really dont want another party. Im getting the the point of just wanting to run to Vegas or better yet City Hall on our lunch break. I love my FI and cant wait to call him husband, but the wedding stuff is driving me crazy.  I know that Ill just suck it up and let the families do what that want, Im not a push over just picking my battles. Thanks for letting me vent.  
    Posted by hmd7799[/QUOTE]

    I think you should appreciate their efforts and be grateful for what they are trying to do.  Remember, the engagement party is in fact a party to congratulate you and your FI but also a good opportunity for you to talk to and get to know more people on the side of his family. It is also a nice opportunity to have everyone together at the same time enjoying each others company.  It is also just a nice excuse to throw a party, and there's nothing wrong with that.  You can't just tell them No.  Really.  You are having a big wedding and all of them have to be there, so why can't they throw a small party and you just deal with it?  You know.  Let them do what they want to do
    [IMG]http://i52.tinypic.com/hx7ztv.jpg[/IMG]
  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Let them have the party.  Refusing it is only going to make you look bad with his family.  And that's not how I'd want to start married life with my new family. 

    Ten years from now, they'll remember little if anything about  the engagement party~unless you refuse to allow it.  THAT they'll talk about at every Thanksgiving, Christmas, and summer BBQ for the next couple of decades.

    Really, sweetie.  Choose your battles.  And this is most certainly not one worth fighting.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • edited December 2011
    You are wise in picking your battles. A similar thing happened with me. My FI's mom has insisted that we come for various parties that she has quilted her friends into throwing. We are going to be driving to NC every weekend for the next 4 weeks because of it. She even has a shower planned for us on the wedding day. I politely tried to decline and they happened anyways.

    You aren't alone. So much attention and parties stress me out too. Just think that all you have to do is show up, be nice for a few hours and open presents. It'll all be fine and will die down soon.
    Anniversary
  • mebywf08mebywf08 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I disagree with everyone saying that you have to accept all of the parties they want to throw you. I don't think engagement parties have to be formal, unless that's his families style. There's nothing wrong with a backyard bbq held in your honor, but you do not have to go along with every party his mom wants. All you have to say is "I would we prefer we combine these parties and just have one big celebration." There is no need to have multiple showers if you don't want them and the same goes for engagement parties.
    Happy Little Wife!
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_im-being-ungreatful-but-need-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:a02a22e4-94fa-4cda-8abf-05b717bfef27Post:e5b61c2b-1fe2-436c-9d5f-6c1e8bcf5047">Re: I know Im being ungreatful but I need to vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]I disagree with everyone saying that you have to accept all of the parties they want to throw you. I don't think engagement parties have to be formal, unless that's his families style. There's nothing wrong with a backyard bbq held in your honor, but you do not have to go along with every party his mom wants. All you have to say is "I would we prefer we combine these parties and just have one big celebration." There is no need to have multiple showers if you don't want them and the same goes for engagement parties.
    Posted by mebywf08[/QUOTE]

    Hello, she has no say.  She is not the one throwing the party.  She can't be rude and say "Don't throw the party for me". It's not her territory.  She has to accept it.
    [IMG]http://i52.tinypic.com/hx7ztv.jpg[/IMG]
  • dianenjnjdianenjnj member
    Knottie Warrior 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i suggest you put on your seatbelt....it's gonna be a bumpy ride if this stuff is getting to you a year before the actual wedding!

    relax...enjoy the efforts of the people who want to make this time special for you and your fi.
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