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Where to sit - head table vs. sweetheart vs. sitting whereever we want

glam70sglam70s member
100 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I'm trying to determine where FI and I are going to sit. If we sit with wedding party and dates, it will be a table of me, FI, my sister, her FI, our best man (who doesn't know my sister), and his girlfriend. That could be awkward for the best man and his gf, so I'm not sold on that idea.

If we did a sweetheart table, it would be the two of us at a 60" round table, as there are no smaller tables available. Again, not ideal.

But then who would we sit with? I was thinking parents, but frankly that would be boring and I'm sure they would rather sit with their families than each other. I know I'm over thinking this, but I just can't decide. I would LOVE to just sit with all my closest friends (best man is in that circle as well), but I know my family would not be happy..

I guess I'm just wondering if there are options I've never heard of, or if I need to just suck it up and decide on one of the above. :) TIA!
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Re: Where to sit - head table vs. sweetheart vs. sitting whereever we want

  • baystateapplebaystateapple member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    We had a sweetheart table and I loved it.  It gave us some much-needed "alone" time to just sit and enjoy each other.
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  • 1ofThoseDays1ofThoseDays
    100 Comments
    Can you bring your own table?
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  • mica178mica178 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    My venue didn't have smaller round tables, but they did have smaller rectangle tables, so they made our sweetheart table out of a 4x6' table.  It was great.
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  • opalsky007opalsky007 member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    We sat at a round with our parents and some friends of theirs who didn't know a lot of folks. Our GM sat with their close friends at another round, and our BMs sat with their SOs and friends at another round.

    It wasn't dull at all, and to be honest we weren't seated all that long. Everyone else seemed to have a good time.
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  • LDYGTR13LDYGTR13 member
    2500 Comments
    We had a sweetheart table - not that we were there much, but it was nice to just have time for us. Of course people kept coming up to us and talking to us, but it really was great.


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  • Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I have never been in a WP where I knew everyone else in it. Most times, I hardly knew anyone except the bride, groom, and a couple others. I think between the rehearsal, RD, and just introducing them to one another, it would not be awkward for your attendants to not know each other. Plus, they're with their SO's and can always chat with them. I would probably go with the head table as you explained it. If you want to sit with other close friends who aren't in the WP, you could just sit amongst your guests with your WP, their So's and some other good friends, or sit with your good friends and put the WP and SO's with other people there that they are close friends with.


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  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I don't think it would be awkward for the best man. He'll know you and he'll know his date, so... it's okay that he doesn't know everyone at the table.
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  • hlq2011hlq2011
    1000 Comments
    At FSIL's wedding, they had a sibling table.  FSIL and FBIL, FI and me, FSIL's MOH (who was her sister) and her BF, the BM, and then FBIL's sister and her BF (wow, acronyms much?).  I didn't know the groom's sister or her boyfriend very well, but it wasn't awkward for any of us.
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  • squirrlysquirrly member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    We did a sweetheart table smack dab in the middle of the room.  It was smaller than the other tables, but not tiny. 

    And, Calypso, since we were seated right in amongst our guests, just without other people at the table, it wasn't AWish at all, IMO.  But ask LVB if you want confirmation.  She was there.
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  • mica178mica178 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Our sweetheart table was nestled in between all the other tables.  Trust me, we were in the middle of things and people came up to talk with us for the entire 15 minutes that we were sitting.  It was hardly stand-offish.
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  • IrishBrideNDIrishBrideND
    100 Comments
    for the record, I'm not saying all sweetheart tables are stand offish. Its just how we personally felt and therefore decided to not do it. I don't judge those who do. I prefer those over head tables.
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    i think its less AW if its in the middle, but every one i've seen is up front, completely away/apart from the other tables and its all "look at us".  one was even up on a freakin' 2 foot high platform!
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  • Karen's MOHKaren's MOH
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    Whether it is AWish or not, I loved having a sweetheart table (the only place we could have it was right in front of the dance floor, so we were facing the room but in between two normal tables.) It was really nice that the few moments we sat down to eat, we could just relax and not having to make conversation. I also would have loved to have it with our honor attendants and their dates, but that just didn't work with the way the rest of the tables shook out.

    If you feel the table will be too big, maybe you could have all the BM bouquets on the table to fill it up a little?
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  • Kate61487Kate61487 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    With your options I'd go with the "head table" (though if it's still a round table I don't really think of it as a head table....)  It shouldn't be awkward for the BM.  That way you're not at a huge empty table.

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  • filawfilaw member
    Ninth Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its
    We did the "kings table" (all WP and dates seated around a long rectangular table.)  Many of the WP didn't know each other, but like PP have said, they knew us and they knew their dates.  Everyone certainly seemed happy.

    One thing I heard recently from my BIL about sweetheart tables, that was a new perspective for me -- he claimed the reason he and my SIL didn't manage to eat at their wedding was because they were at a sweetheart table.   He said that our WP "protected" us from guests who otherwise were like, oh this is my opportunity to go approach the bride and groom.  Obviously just one perspective, but I found it interesting.
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  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    >>We had a sweetheart table and I loved it.  It gave us some much-needed "alone" time to just sit and enjoy each other.

    YES.  THIS.
    And ask your catering director to move one of the tables that's in her office or some other office there, so you can use that as your sweetheart table.
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  • glam70sglam70s member
    100 Comments
    Interesting argument for the sweetheart table.. I do like the idea of having a little time to just be together without having to talk to everyone..

    Thanks for the input everyone!
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