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September 2010 Weddings

Would you invite this guest or ask?

FI was very close to his aunt and uncle (his mom's brother) growing up since his cousin (their daughter) was around his age and only lived a few miles away. This aunt and uncle went through a divorce about 2 years ago but are both either remarried or have a SI now. We still talk to the aunt and would like to invite her to the wedding. Do we need to ask his uncle if its ok or should we just do it? They have been together for their other son's graduation since then and there weren't any huge issues (at least between them... there's always issues when FI's  family is together).

Re: Would you invite this guest or ask?

  • It's really up to you and your FI who you want at your wedding. If you think it is a good idea to ask FI's uncle, then you should. But then if you do ask, you have to be prepared to accept his answer. Will you or your FI be unhappy or upset if his uncle tells you he would rather not have to see his ex there?
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  • I agree with Amanda.  He might not give you the answer that you're hoping for if you ask him.

    Personally, I would just invite her and have them sit at different tables.  He should understand that you're both still close with the Aunt.  If he can't be grown up about it, then it'll be his decision as to whether or not he'll show.

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  • I think if you really want her there, then invite her.  Its your wedding!  But if you don't really care too much one way or the other, it may be a nice gesture to ask your uncle what his opinion is. 
  • If they've both been invited to family gatherings before with no issue, it sounds like they can be reasonable adults and it shouldn't be an issue.  I would invite the aunt if you want her there, and MAYBE have a family member make sure he knows she'll be there, just as sort of a heads-up so he isn't caught off-guard when he sees her.  Like pp said, sit them at different tables and it should be fine.
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  • I ran into a similar issue myself and was told that a person would not be at my bridal shower if a certain relative was there. I thought about it for a long time and it was tough to do, but I said everyone is invited and if you can't get along, then someone just won't show up. Turns out they are both going to come and just sit away from eachother. There will be so many people around, they will prob barely see one another. I say invite who you want to be there.
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