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Chit Chat

silly girl - no ring =p

I feel so very silly.  I don't have a ring, he hasn't actually asked me.  We've only been together a little over two years.  I'm not the girly type who normally cares about things like Valentines day and wedding plans.  Aside from the fact that I'm helping (another!) friend plan her wedding, I have no reason to be here. And yet I'm not even engaged, and I'm thinking about the perfect dress and the perfect flowers and the perfect reception...  

It's his fault.  We went to the wedding of one of his dearest friends recently, and after the reception (a little tipsy) he reinterated an earlier drunken expectation that someday we'd be having the most amazing wedding.  This time, however, he got detailed.  He knows who we'll have play the music at the reception, he wants to have it the second weekend of November, he warned me it would have to be huge - 200 people - and went into some detail about the requirements for awesomeness.  I did a lot of melting inside - of course - and at some point since I've found myself thinking about my wedding.  Never, ever (even when planning my first wedding) have I dreamed about weddings.  

Suppose that means I'm with the right guy this time around =)

I've helped a few friends plan weddings, because I run a restaurant and I'm also a huge planner.  It's always been kind of academic - yes, that dress is pretty.  yes, that cake tastes amazing.  Now I'm helping her and thinking about what I'd want, I'm supposed to be looking for things for her and I'm clicking on things that I'd want.  It's kind of annoying - I'm usually more rational - and yet at the same time it's fun and it makes me smile to think about planning that first real celebration of the start of our future.

Anyways, just wanted to introduce myself as 'that girl' - I'll probably be posting here until my best friend's wedding is all set up for this October.  It's probably just a front for me wanting to think about my wedding =)  

Re: silly girl - no ring =p

  • me and my fi were talking bout our wedding 2 months after we got together. that was 3 years ago.
  • My H and I talked about getting married about a year into our relationship...nine years later we actually took the plunge.

    It is perfectly fine to be on these message boards even if you aren't engaged.  Some members are bridesmaids or mothers...not just brides.  Have fun, poke around, and learn what not to do when the day finally comes :)

    Planning your wedding in your head when you aren't engaged is perfectly normal, but actually purchasing items and booking vendors for a wedding that may or may not happen is crazy (and yes, I had one friend whose girlfriend booked a venue and photographer and he hadn't even thought about asking her to marry him...she was one crazy loon!)

  • We talked about getting married about 3mo in and were engaged at 1 year. We did start looking on here when we first started talking about weddings, which is why my join date is so early. To be honest, it just depressed me. It was informative at first to use the budget tool & see that we really didn't have the funds to get married yet. But after that, I had to get off. It made me so sad to not be part of the experiences. 

    So OP, enjoy your time here. If you feel that it is upsetting you more than helping, then take a break. I hope it all works out!
  • Ginabean42712Ginabean42712 member
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    edited March 2012
    I am the complete opposite.  I was just like you...never into valentines day or anything girlie like that.  A total tom boy.  In fact, we never once talked about getting married until he proposed.  And that was on our 5 year anniversary.  When I tell people that we never once talked about marriage until he proposed people think that's strange.  Yes I always wanted to get married but I never wanted to be that girl that pressured her boyfriend to get married.  I had friends like that and I never wanted to be that girl.  I wanted him to be totally ready for it.  And I know that when he popped the question to me, that it was something he really wanted.  I am not really sure if this makes sense, but to me it does :)
    Married April 27th 2012
  • We started talking about marriage in the first month and by the end of the second month we were engaged and have a little over 2 months to go until we are married which we will have been together for a little over 15 months on our wedding.
  • Thank you all for the warm welcome and telling me I'm not crazy =)

    I'm also glad to see others talked about marriage long before the question was asked.  It's a little weird with my BF, I'm his second serious girlfriend ever.  He really was not the marrying sort, his friends have all asked me what secrets I have that settled him down =P
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_silly-girl-no-ring-p?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:d8c723f7-6108-4181-ab00-0ab7bd756837Post:47b4b906-1e88-4a97-86ae-20a3db92b3af">Re: silly girl - no ring =p</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thank you all for the warm welcome and telling me I'm not crazy =) I'm also glad to see others talked about marriage long before the question was asked.  It's a little weird with my BF, I'm his second serious girlfriend ever.  He really was not the marrying sort, his friends have all asked me what secrets I have that settled him down =P
    Posted by kfl123[/QUOTE]


    When I told DH's sister that I knew that a proposal was coming because of prior conversations, her response was that you should know when a proposal is imminent because there is a lot to discuss before you decide to get married.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • lol I joined before it was official, but I didn't spend too much time on here. I just wasn't sure when it was going to officially happen. I started spending way more time on here once I had my date set, that made things real. Just be careful when helping your friend plan. My BM got married a couple of years ago and is already divorced. Somehow her past wedding keeps sneaking into "ideas" for our wedding. I really appreciate her experience but our styles are completely different. If you love something for your own dream wedding, you don't have to share it with your friend, you might feel like she stole it! Have fun and maybe start some sober convos with your fella!
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