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How to NOT invite kids...

My guest list significantly outnumbers my fiance's.  A large portion of it is due to the number of kids in my family.  My parents have asked that I invite the family that was invited to both of my sisters' weddings (10+ years ago) and I'm not that close to those family memebers anymore.  Some of the families have 4+ kids under 16.  But then there are some families that we are close to that have little kids who we want to invite.  Are we able to pick and choose the families who we want to invite their kids?  Whats the best way of going about it?
Also, how do we distinguish between a family that has kids who are 20, 17, 10, and 8?  Are we able to invite the older ones and not the younger? 

Re: How to NOT invite kids...

  • I agree with the post by Linger that it could get you in some hot water. Sure you can do it and its completely up to you, as long as you are prepared for some drama and whispering about "Why did Sally get to bring her kids, and mine were not invited." If you can handle that and it won't bother you, then go ahead. We had the same discussion, we have some children in our families that we would prefer not to attend, and others who would be fine. We decided to only involve our own children (there are four between our soon to be blended family) and put "adult reception immediately following the ceremony" on the invitation. Actually, its very common to do that.

    As far as distinguishing older from younger children, the 20 and 17 year old could be considered adults, but that is a judgement call for you.
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  • edited October 2012
    I had the same situation as you.
    First off, I had my mom start spreading the word on our side a couple of months before invitations went out. I know a lot of it happened at my graduation party, lol, as people were asking how planning was going.

    I kept it to all FIRST cousins--teens and all.
    NO other kids under the age of 16 were invited, aside from husband's niece and newphew.

    Nothing was stated on the invitation card. However, on the reception card it did say 'adults only' on the bottom right corner.
    Cousins did bring their young children to my ceremony. And they were noisy. And I was very distracted during my priest's homily, even though I was trying really hard to concentrate! :( lol
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  • Oh, and weddings aren't tit-for-tat -- so don't invite people just because they were invited to blahblahblah...

    And I definitely don't think it's right to pick and choose which kids to invite.

    Sorry I didn't read the entire post before commenting.
    Good luck!
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  • children are a difficult issue at weddings. i don't believe they belong as in my experience parents don't pay attention and let the little monsters run loose...there by ruining the wedding. we have run into the issue at our daughters wedding...the grooms family is insisting on children and it had become a major issue. in fact the reason we imposed the 'no kids' rule was due to his sisters children...a pack of wild dogs behave better. a compromise has been reached. the children can come, but only these children, no friends and family. the children, 4 in total, will sit with them at their own table in a back corner so as not to impact on the rest too badly. if they want the children they sit with them, i will not inflict them on anyone else. as to the question of teens....only those close to family otherwise no, mostly because i have noticed the lack of supervision and there will be an open bar.
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