Confusing invitation wording....

tjah · September 2012

My parents have been very generous and given us a large amount of money towards the wedding, my fiancee are paying for the rest (still a hefty sum of money, but not as much as my parents have given) and FI parents aren't contributing at all.

I really want to acknowledge how generous my parents have been, by going with the traditional "brides parents invite you to the wedding of their daughter to the groom, son of grooms parents" My fiancee agrees that he wants to acknowledge it as well, but he feels that this wording makes me the centre of attention; that's definitely not what I'm going for.

But I feel like the "together with their parents, bride and groom invite you," would just gloss over my parents contribution, particularily since that just lumps them with his parents.

I can't possibly think of any wording though that wouldn't just sound like it's totally excluding his parents, and I can't find anything online for when it's the couple and just one set of parents. It's always one set of parents, or couple and both parents.

Any suggestions?

tjah · September 2012

I realize that, but it still isn't quite how we'd like to have them worded, if anyone else can come up with alternate suggestions.

MyNameIsNot · September 2012

You can put them in under him with son of. It isn't purely traditional, but it is perfectly acceptable and pretty common.

Parents of the Bride

invite blah blah blah

Bride

&

Groom

son of

Parents of the groom

blah blah blah

Lisa50 · September 2012

If your fiance is concerned that you will be the center of attention with traditional invitation wording, I suggest you use wording that does not include parents as hosts. We used wording with just our names as hosts. It works.

TheVirginians · September 2012

Your fiance is worried that you would be the center of attention?

tjah · September 2012

Yes, I know it may seem a bit silly he's concerned about it, but he's super excited for the wedding and very into all the planning. He hates the idea of weddings being all about the bride, and I completely agree; I want to celebrate the joining of our lives, not insist everyone gush over my beauty. I think he realizes I'll likely be in the spotlight a bunch but just doesn't want the day to just be that.

Anyway, thank you all for the input. I imagine we probably will just go with wording saying we're hosts. I haven't actually asked my parents how they feel (though I'll run it by them) just because I honestly don't think they'll care. Their contribution to the wedding was very much, here's X amount of money, if you want to elope and put the rest on your mortgage, go ahead, if you want to go crazy over the top and spend 3 years saving additional money do that. But they haven't really had an active part in the planning process; so even though they're contributing financially, it's more of a gift, then feeling like they're really hosting.

And we'll also say a few words to thank both our parents during the reception, and we can mention it there (tactfully)

Kristin789 · September 2012

The invitatioin is extended by the bride's parents. They are the people who are requesting the honour of the guests' presence. So go talk to your parents.

Now, about this:
I really want to acknowledge how generous my parents have been, by going with the traditional "brides parents invite you to the wedding of their daughter to the groom, son of grooms parents" My fiancee agrees that he wants to acknowledge it as well, but he feels that this wording makes me the centre of attention;

The traditional wording lists the groom's name. Alone. Which says that the groom is a mature, self-sufficient man who is not living with his parents and who is not being financially or emotionally supported by his parents. He comes to this wedding alone.

The traditional wedding has the bride's parents announcing the wedding of their daughter, because traditionally a daughter maintains ties to her parents. The saying goes: A boy is a son until he takes a wife. A girl is a daughter the rest of her life.

This traditional wording does not make the bride the center of attention. It makes the WEDDING the center of attention, because the guests are going to attend and witness this ceremony, and forevermore serve when needed as marriage mentors for this couple. That's putting the WEDDING at the center. That's really what SHOULD be at the center.

itzMS · October 2012

We had a similar situation, we paid for a good portion of our own wedding (over half), each parent gave generous sums of money, and a unique family situation to boot (my dad deceased/mom remarried, DH's parents divorced and mom not remarried, stepparents that we don't call our parents, different last names, etc). It's very true that etiquette states that it is not an honor to be on the invitation, but when each group contributes (even a little bit) it really means a lot to them to be named. I would suggest asking FMIL and she may say it's OK if she and FFIL are not named...problem solved.

For the sake of example, ours was:

Anna Smith
and
Dan Johnson

Together with their families
June and Mark Winters
Sally Martin
Sue and Michael Johnson

Request the honour of your presence...blah blah blah

creationsbycrystal · October 2012

What about this:
Mr. and Mrs. Tomas Kling
and
Mr. and Mrs. Frederick Langston
invite you to share in the joy of the marriage uniting their children
Ashley Marie Kling
and
Patrick Everett Langston
on Saturday, the twelfth of April
two thousand eighteen
at eleven o'clock in the morning
San Bay Yacht Club
42 Burgundy Drive
Los Angeles, California

~Crystal
www.invitebling.com

JanoBean75 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_confusing-invitation-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:8cd97905-afbe-4ec2-af39-08245f6f9b8fPost:630155bc-6de8-47d8-b653-f319e330d537">Re: Confusing invitation wording....</a>:
[QUOTE]What about this:
Mr. and Mrs. Tomas Kling
and
Mr. and Mrs. Frederick Langston
invite you to share in the joy
of the marriage uniting their children
Ashley Marie Kling
and
Patrick Everett Langston
on Saturday, the twelfth of April
two thousand eighteen
at eleven o'clock in the morning
San Bay Yacht Club
42 Burgundy Drive Los Angeles, California[/QUOTE]

First, if you're a vendor, you're not allowed to post here.

Second, this is incorrect for a couple reasons:

There should not be an "and" between the two sets of parents' names. Anyone in the invitation business should know that "and' indicates marriage.

Also, the groom's parents are not hosting, so their names should not be above the invitational line.

***

OP, I don't really understand why your FI thinks the traditional wording means all the attention is on you. Your names will both stand out when the invitation is properly formatted. Have you both gone to look at invitations in a store? When both your name and his name are set apart either in a different font, color, or size (or all three), he may see it differently.

If you opt to do add in his parents after his name, you should do "son of Mr. and Mrs. so and so" on one line.

Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Parents
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
<strong>
Bride</strong>
to
<strong>Groom</strong>

son of Mr. and Mrs. Groom's parents
Saturday, the sixth of October
Two thousand and twelve
at four o'clock in the afternoon

Church Name
City, State

Confusing invitation wording....

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