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Issues w/future sister-in-law...HELP

pollyrolmanpollyrolman
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in Wedding Party
My soon to be sister-in-law (one of my bridesmaids) has been giving my fiance a GIGANTIC guilt trip because he didn't ask her husband to be a groomsmen. My fiance asked his close friends to be groomsmen and did not ask his sister's husband because he barely knows her husband and has nothing in common with him.  

The tricky part is that his sister and her husband just got married last year and my fiance was a groomsmen in their wedding.  My fiance is well aware that she made her now husband ask my fiance and that it wasn't really his decision since they don't really know each other that well.  My fiance felt very awkward having to ride in a limo with all his drunk friends on the day of their wedding, so he wants to spare his sister's husband the same awkwardness.  

Unfortunately, his sister is taking it personally that he didn't ask her husband and is being very difficult to reason with.  She doesn't understand that he doesn't want to ask someone he barely knows and is not close to. The six guys he did ask are people he is extremely close to.  Has anyone dealt with a similar situation?  I don't want this to turn into a giant family fight.
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Re: Issues w/future sister-in-law...HELP

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    kmmssgkmmssg mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited May 2011
    He just needs to tell her it is a closed topic and if she keeps bringing it up, he needs to end the phone call or email or visit.  If he keeps doing this she will eventually knock it off.

    Has he ever told her he knows he was included in her wedding because she made her FI ask him?  He could discuss that part with her for starters, tell her it is now a closed topic and then refuse to engage in it with her.
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    crash2729crash2729 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_issues-wfuture-sister-lawhelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b86d2454-3cd4-43a7-8d25-22cd7cc10bbcPost:e7b080c0-7cd9-46b3-92c8-6a2629509c05">Re: Issues w/future sister-in-law...HELP</a>:
    [QUOTE]He just needs to tell her it is a closed topic and if she keeps bringing it up, he needs to end the phone call or email or visit.  If he keeps doing this she will eventually knock it off. Has he ever told her he knows he was included in her wedding because she made her FI ask you?  He could discuss that part with her for starters, tell her it is now a closed topic and then refuse to engage in it with her.
    Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

    <div>This plus he should share with her that just because FI was in H's wedding party does not mean H has to be in your FI's wedding party.</div>
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    CassieeKCassieeK
    First Comment
    Yes, just tell her the discussion is closed, or she will never let it go.
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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    Ignore her.

    Plus, does her husband really want to be asked? (I imagine if he did, he'd be the one laying the guilt trip on your husband.) If your fiance knows for a fact that her husband is not interested, your fiance could always say, "Look, I've spoken to Tom about it and he'd rather not be a groomsman. Case closed." Ignore, lather, rinse, repeat.
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