September 2012 Weddings

Teenagers and step parenting!

Can't live with them and cant live without them.  FI's son is 15, I've been in his life for the last 5 years.  He was the "fat kid" up until this year.  He now has gotten extremely tall and plays football.  He's finally becoming sociable and has some really good friends from the football team as well as some of his other "misfit" friends from grade school.

He has one friend, who I swear is going to get him suspended.  He comes home and tells me EVERYTHING!  Who tries to fight him, who is talking about him, what he says back to them, which of his friends are drinking and doing drugs etc.  Today he walks in and told me he got a suspension warning because 1 freshman, 1 junior and 1 senior tried to jump him after his science class because of this friend.  He has anger issues to begin with and I keep working on this with him.

I don't remember this much fighting when I was in HS and it wasn't that long ago.  Some days because I'm 4'11", I just want to meet him at school and give some of these punks a piece of my mind.  His school asked me which class I was late for the last time I had to drop off his keys.

I just have to say being a step parent to a teenager is the best birth-control ever!  It also freaks me out that we could possibly have children around the same age at one point.  So weird!

Re: Teenagers and step parenting!

  • oh god.... i'm soooo dreading the teen years!! Although my 5 year old acts like a 15 year old somedays :P
    It's so hard to know when to intervene, when to push and when to just let them make their own choices. It's such an important stage of life that they need to experience and parents need to accept lol
    I really hope when the time comes I have the patience and understanding to handle what Noah throws my way.
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  • Yikes!  That's tough.  Hopefully, he doesn't become a father anytime soon and you won't have children the same age.  That would be extremely weird...

    My daughter is 10 and I'm dreading the teen years.  She already forgets herself some days and gives me attitude.  Ahh!! 
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  • He goes to an Academy for free, because we live in the town.  If he fights he is automatically expelled.  I keep telling him to breath and walk away and reminding him that if he gets in trouble he is off the football team.  Lately he's just way to into being seen as the tough scary kid instead of the funny nice guy that he always has been.
  • Tell me about it. I'm a youth counselor to foster youth ages 14-21, a caseload of 15 kids with 15 more attending. DRAMA is not even the word. I just have to remind myself that my own children won't have the issues these kids do so that I won't give up on kids all together.
  • edited January 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_teenagers-step-parenting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:d04cafc4-c43a-422c-ae74-f43846dc1b8aPost:e7caa436-f420-461c-a7df-e24689cddc5e">Re: Teenagers and step parenting!</a>:
    [QUOTE]She already forgets herself some days and gives me attitude.  Ahh!! 
    Posted by agladhill[/QUOTE]


    The attitude is the worst part.  He has been a handful the last 3 years.  We have a big fight once every year or so.  The last one we had, he screamed that he would make sure what happened to the other girlfriends happened to me lol.  Like he controls our relationship.  This fight happened when I asked to put his laundry away and do the dishes after I let him sit on the couch for a weekend after a breakup.  Love him to death but he has some mouth on him.
  • agladhillagladhill member
    First Comment
    edited January 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_teenagers-step-parenting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:d04cafc4-c43a-422c-ae74-f43846dc1b8aPost:b566c3f3-2fc4-4a68-ac4a-2dd5c7350651">Re: Teenagers and step parenting!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Teenagers and step parenting! : The attitude is the worst part.  He has been a handful the last 3 years. <strong> We have a big fight once every year or so.</strong>  The last one we had, he screamed that he would make sure what happened to the other girlfriends happened to me lol.  Like he controls our relationship.  This fight happened when I asked to put his laundry away and do the dishes after I let him sit on the couch for a weekend after a breakup.  Love him to death but he has some mouth on him.
    Posted by DirtyWater[/QUOTE]

    I hate to say it, but I think if you are only having one major fight a year, you are probably lucky.  LOL! 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_teenagers-step-parenting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:d04cafc4-c43a-422c-ae74-f43846dc1b8aPost:62a70845-71d0-4e93-abc9-89c6e640c0b5">Re: Teenagers and step parenting!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Teenagers and step parenting! : I hate to say it, but I think if you are only having one major fight a year, you are probably lucky.  LOL! 
    Posted by agladhill[/QUOTE]

    Oh we have our share of fights, but one MAJOR one a year.  Ending up with FI, myself, step son and his mom, sitting down for a very long chat.  We lay everything out on the table together when it gets bad.  He thinks that I'm scared of him and his moms family and I just sit them down and state otherwise.
  • My FI has 2 kids, a girl 5 and boy 12... boy do they make life difficult.  the 5 yr old girl is a spoiled little brat and has a tantrum every 5 minutes.  She drives me nuts.  The boy is just too smart for his own good and back talks... im not at ALL ready for teenage years.  I really feel for you!!!!
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