*XP* Very Young Nephews..

Re: *XP* Very Young Nephews..

• Calypso1977 member

  

  November 2010

  i would just tell her that they arent in it.

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• AllAboutTheBenjamin member

  

  November 2010

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_xp-very-young-nephews?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:741090d9-724b-40ce-b384-88cbff5a14d8Post:e582ee8d-1a80-49e1-aa7d-b8407026c09c">*XP* Very Young Nephews..</a>:
  [QUOTE]Hello there... So, when I got engaged the first thing my SIL said to me was that my nephews are going to look so cute in tuxes. (by the time the wedding comes around they will be 4 and 2.5) I never once asked them or my SIL to be my "ring bearers" in my wedding... she just assumed that because they are my nephews they will be in the wedding. Here's my issue: the other day my SIL said that her sister (who isn't invited to the wedding because i am not close with her or her family at all, besides my SIL) will be at the ceremony to watch the kids, will be with us at the hotel getting ready because of the kids, and will be there to have them introduced, then will take them back to the hotel to watch them while the wedding continues... 1. I know they're my nephews, but this situation seems more of a hassle than anything else. 2. I really don't want to include my nephews - i love them to death, but they don't listen and will just be little pains 3. we aren't including FI's nephew and they never assumed we were - so we're all set with that! 4. i don't want SIL sister at the wedding or "babysitting" what's the point? I feel like it's for SIL to "show off her kids" <strong>How do I tell my SIL i don't want my nephews in the wedding?</strong>
  Posted by MacFreitas7[/QUOTE]
  
  With words, from your mouth.
  
  Seriously girl.  Just do it.  She may be upset at first but she'll eventually understand and get over it.

  

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• danieliza1127 member

  

  November 2010

  I would just say something like "it's really sweet that you want the boys to be in the wedding, but we aren't having any kids in our wedding.  I'm sorry if I gave you a different impression, but that's what we've decided."

  
  

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• MacFreitas7

  

  November 2010

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_xp-very-young-nephews?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:741090d9-724b-40ce-b384-88cbff5a14d8Post:e53b3e33-941e-48d0-9014-c8ac15cfcfcf">Re: *XP* Very Young Nephews..</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to *XP* Very Young Nephews.. : With words, from your mouth. Seriously girl.  Just do it.  She may be upset at first but she'll eventually understand and get over it.
  Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]
  
  
  I know!!  You're right. It's probably better sooner rather than later too right?
  
  She's the type of person that when I say "I don't think we're going to have them..." she'll turn around and "NOoo, of course, they're your nephews"

  

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• Simply Fated member

  

  November 2010

  You can tell her that you decided not to have ring bearers and flower girls in the wedding.
  
  It's weird of her to assume her kids were going to be in the wedding, imo, so I don't feel bad for letting her down in this case. And it sounds like she is willing to put in way too much effort just to have her kids in tuxes.
  

  
  

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• FutureMrsTR

  

  November 2010

  Ditto Dani.  And if she protests, just keep saying "I'm sorry you feel that way" but stick to your guns.

  
  ttc chart
  BFP 8/01/12, EDD 04/10/12, mm/c @ 6wks, discovered at 8wks, D&C 9/05/12

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• Rosie109

  

  November 2010

  Words work wonder when telling people about your wedding. Being firm is also good. Doing it sooner rather than later is the best.

  

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• danieliza1127 member

  

  November 2010

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_xp-very-young-nephews?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:741090d9-724b-40ce-b384-88cbff5a14d8Post:e7d33bf6-e221-4dac-9cba-94259e9af0d6">Re: *XP* Very Young Nephews..</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Re: *XP* Very Young Nephews.. : She's the type of person that when I say "I don't think we're going to have them..." she'll turn around and "NOoo, of course, they're your nephews"
  Posted by MacFreitas7[/QUOTE]
  
  Don't say "we don't think we're going to have them" because that makes it sound like your minds can be changed.  Say "we aren't going to have any kids in the wedding".  It's much more concrete.

  
  

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• MacFreitas7

  

  November 2010

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_xp-very-young-nephews?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:741090d9-724b-40ce-b384-88cbff5a14d8Post:cba9a365-f5f3-48f1-9279-2abdc4533fa3">Re: *XP* Very Young Nephews..</a>:
  [QUOTE]I would just say something like "it's really sweet that you want the boys to be in the wedding, but we aren't having any kids in our wedding.  I'm sorry if I gave you a different impression, but that's what we've decided."
  Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]
  
  This is great advice, thank you!
  FutureMrsTR too.

  

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