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May 2010 Weddings

Engagement ring copying

Ok, so I know I'm kind of (totally?) being a bridezilla here, but here I go,,,

I have an engagement ring that I love. It is losely modelled on the Tiffany Novo, which I fell for way back when and which is completely me. FI and I shopped for the style together, he picked the stone and I designed the shank to my specifications. We had it custom made by a jeweller. I feel like we put a lot of effort to get something special, and whilst I know others will have a similar ring to mine, no-one I know does, and that influenced my choice.

FI has a friend who just got engaged and who had seen my ring. A few days afer her engagement she got in touch and said she loved my ring and could I help her to model hers on mine?

I don't want to be mean (and aready said I could help) but inside I feel slightly peeved by it. If she had found it independently that's one thing, but to ask a girl to copy something so personal to her... I dunno, I wouldn't do it.

Whilst I know I can't refuse, I don't feel I'm doing it with my heart. Am I just being mean?

Re: Engagement ring copying

  • Hmm... i would be upset too if I would have went to all the work that you and your fiance did to create your ring. However, my best friend just got engaged on Dec. 19th and she wanted the same ring that I have from helzberg the only thing different about it is that my center diamond is round and her diamond is square! I think its pretty cool that we are ring twins! But maybe this is different for myself because we have been friends since 5th grade! I say if you want to help her design the ring do it, if not just don't answer your phone when she calls! Laughing
  • I'd be a little upset, but I'd try to think of it as a compliment. She loves your ring so much that she would want to wear it, too.

    Plus, if it is just modeled on yours, it won't be the same, just similar.
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  • I can see where you are coming from, but I would take it as a compliment.
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  • I see where you're coming from, but if you think about it, it's really hard not to copy any engagement ring.  Unless you have a ring with a very vintage design, twisty kind of band, or colored stone, they all kind of look like they came from the same designer, IMO.

    I don't know what your ring looks like, but I just saw the Tiffany Novo online.  To avoid her copying your ring, bring her a picture of that ring and have her build from there, as you did, to make her own custom piece.  This way you can say you had the same inspiration, but different interpretations of it. 
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  • I agree with Patrize, help her make her own spin on the ring, it may still be similar to yours, but at least it won't be a straight copy. If she insists on going off yours you are certainly entitled to share your concerns, just be nice and tell her taht your ring is personal to you and youthink it would mean much more to her, like yours does to you, if she were to create it based off her style and personality.

  • I would be a little annoyed, too, but like other PPs said, take it as a compliment!  I also agree with Patrize- help her to put her own spin on the ring.
  • I had a similar thing happen to me. Pete had my ring custom made, and one of my friends took pics of my ring to show her boyfriend what she wanted. I have to admit that part of me was relieved when her engagement ring looked nothing like mine a few months later. But, it is flattering that she likes your ring style. Patrize had a good idea.
  • i guess i'm a little confused - isn't yours a copy of the tiffany one?  so hers would be a copy of one you (and anyone else) copied?  maybe i'm just misunderstanding.  in either event, i think patrize has good advice - i'd show her the novo and go from there.
  • I totally see where you're coming from. Mine was also designed specially by FI with the jeweler so I take a great deal of pride in it for that reason, and that I don't know anyone with a ring quite like mine. So while it may be a nice compliment to you that she likes it so much, I would not feel comfortable with someone directly copying what you two created together. I think Patrize's idea was great also, give her the same starting point but leave it to her and her FI to create a piece that is special and unique to them. It will mean more that way, you will still be helping, and yours will still be your own. Good luck!
  • Oooh this is one of those situations where you're peeved but shouldn't be. It is flattering she wants the same, but I wouldn't be happy if she wanted to directly copy your ring.

    I'd explain the problem to your FI and maybe together you can steer her towards something different from yours. Patrize's idea for doing this is great.

    Good Luck!

  • I see where you are coming from but like PP said take it as a compliment that she loves your ring so much she wants to wear one like it too
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  • I actually got engaged last June. An ex-friend of mine got engaged the year before me. We were both really similar in our tastes...we both wanted three stone rings and a plain band. There's not many ways rings can look different when you have the same taste! My FI got me a ring that he knew I would like because it has three stones and a plain band. It is pretty much the same as my ex-friend's, except her diamonds are bigger. My FI was accused of copying her ring! He didn't copy her ring, he got me what I wanted and it happened to be similar to hers. Needless to say, it turned into a huge argument and we are no longer friends. I say who cares if the rings are the same?? It's a ring and it just shows that you have similar tastes. Usually friends do like similar things, which is why they're friends to begin with. I wouldn't turn it into something larger than it is.
  • Thank you so much - you are all so great and I appreciate the support. Just so that yuo know, even before posting I said I would help... I would never turn this sort of thing into an argument or even into a confrontational situation. I guess I would just never do what she is doing so a part of me doesn't get it, if that makes sense... but you've given me great tips and I will follow them!

    Thanks so much!
  • I don't see why it's a big deal. You should take it as a compliment.
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