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Vent: Wedding planning can suck it.

spanglerwedding2012spanglerwedding2012
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in Pennsylvania-Philadelphia
This is a vent. I apologize. I am overwhelmed by weddings. First of all, my FI is NO help. I've booked every vendor, venue, etc myself. I show him pictures of ideas, he nods and grins. Thismorning, he was going through my notebook of "inspiration" and essentially said everything I've chosen looks "Way too casual compared to other weddings he's been to." And he suggested I look for some more formal ideas. I HAVE BEEN SHOWING HIM THESE PICTURES FOR MONTHS and this is the first I've heard any input. I called my mom to ask if she thought it was too casual and she responded, "Well, I thought something more formal would be nice but I didn't want to say anything."

I could just scream. My FI is oblivious. My mom is 3 hrs away and is currently occuppied planning my sisters wedding in Sept. My MOH is in California. I feel like I have no one to bounce ideas off of and get HONEST feedback. I'm so frustrated.
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Re: Vent: Wedding planning can suck it.

  • mana8503mana8503 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Bouce idea off of us?  We love to help and will be honest, but in a nice way.
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  • jelybeancgjelybeancg
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    edited December 2011
    You have a lot of time and most of your big vendors are booked. Maybe take a break from all the planning for a while. I am sure after your sister's wedding you will get more attention from your family. And hopefully closer to the date FI will become more interested. Especially with the little details. You are getting bogged down in them now. Wait until closer and I am sure everyone will want to be more involved.
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  • peanutty2peanutty2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I understand, definately take a break from planning for a bit! it really helps :)  FI is similar as well, he has opinions on "well this should be fancier" or whatever but then doesn't actually make the effort to plan it out... so I take his opinions in mind of course but since I'm the one planning the whole shebang.... lol
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  • spanglerwedding2012spanglerwedding2012
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    edited December 2011
    Ahh. I totally wrote this post so I wouldn't attack him thismorning. :) Haha. I think I do need to take a break. I know I have plenty of time, I just feel like there's so many decisions to make. And I'm crazy indecisive so that in itself is stressful to me.  I'll take a deep breath and ignore weddings for a little bit. THANK YOU for listening to me ramble.
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  • Bean32Bean32 member
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    edited December 2011
    I totally understand how you feel. Planning a wedding essentially on your own is really tough (I would know, I was in the same boat as you). You have all of your major vendors planned and you can always change what you get from each of them.

    What specifically did your FI/mom think was too casual? Was it the decor, flowers, clothes, etc? If you let us know what you were planning on, I'm sure we can give you some ideas to help you keep with the inspiration, but add some more formality.
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  • angel33284angel33284 member
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    edited December 2011
    Sung to the tune of F*** You by Ce Lo Green


    I've been driving 'round town making all these plans and I'm like f*** you.

    I guess the wedding I've been planning just ain't formal enough and I'm like f*** you, and-a f*** mom, too.

    Now if I didn't do it, it just wouldn't get done, HA! Ain't that some s***?

    So anytime you wanna help, I'll just wish you the best with a f*** you.

    Oo Oo Oooo!
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  • paprika28paprika28
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    edited December 2011
    I understand. When I was planning my first wedding, I got to about 3 months before... when I started my alterations. I tried on my dress, realized I hated it, and replanned the entire wedding. LIterally. The colors went from blue and white to red and black. Bridesmaids dresses changed, flowers, decor... everything.


    This time, I sat FI down, (It's both of our second weddings) and we talked about everything. We both realized that compromising on our wedding is a step towards compromising things in real life.


    We're here to be honest (sometimes brutally honest) soundboards.... we'll let you know if what you are choosing is too casual/weird/doesn't match/etc. Trust me. :)
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  • rachelk456rachelk456
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    edited December 2011
    I was in a very similar situation! I was fine with doing everything myself and I'd check in with FI along the way and he wouldn't express his opinion until the decision was already made! It drove me nuts. My mom will help if I really need it but overall is preoccupied with her own stuff. My MOH is far away in college and my one bridesmaid is in CA and the other is too busy.

    When I got overwhelmed I tried taking a break. I never completely stopped my focus on the wedding, but instead of making decisions or doing DIY stuff I just collected inspiration pics ideas which came in handy later. Definitely use us as a resource! And maybe show your mom and FI examples of weddings that are more casual but still very nice. I love the blogs projectwedding, stylemepretty, oncewed, and weddingchicks for inspiration.

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  • Bride_to_be_2011Bride_to_be_2011
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    edited December 2011
    LMAO at angel! I agree, take some time away from planning.
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  • RecoveringActorRecoveringActor member
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    edited December 2011
    Angel--I want to print that out and hang it in my cubicle.  LOL.

    Spangler--I know you haven't posted a ton of ideas on here, but all of the ones that you have posted I think are lovely.  And I'm not saying that to just put a smile on your face, I mean that. 

    We are pretty honest, as I'm sure you know.  If we thought something was a bit too informal... we'd tell you.  And we might have a suggestion of how you can do that idea but dress it up a bit.  You do have a bit of time still... so I agree with PP to take some time off.  Don't do or think about anything wedding related for a week.  One solid week.  One week won't set you back at all... and you sound like you definitely deserve a break.
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  • spanglerwedding2012spanglerwedding2012
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    edited December 2011
    Angel.... That was hilarious. Seriously.

    Thank you sooo much for your support everyone.  Luckily I'm going on vacation next week so that will be the perfect time to get away from wedding biz.

    And yes, everyone has been very honest. I trust your input. I guess "informal" was the wrong word. I think they're confused about my vision. Everyone else in the family has just been traditional or very formal/sophisticated. And I  am going for "garden chic" with mismatched bridesmaids dresses, accents from Etsy.com, wildflowers & lanterns. I still think it will be very nice, it's just not as traditional? I want my wedding to have personality and was offended when my FI and Mom made those comments - sent me into panic mode for a minute... but anyway. :)
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  • peanutty2peanutty2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Angel that cracked me up!  thank you!
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  • nancyrnancyr member
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    edited December 2011
    Oh Angel! You totally rule! Will borrow to post on my wedding blog if you don't mind! For all those frustrated brides out there!  Garden chic is very in right now... personally I love that look (but I'm an old lady MOB but a bridal blogger so take it however u like!) Maybe once you explain to fiance how much more fun he'll have, how much more comfortable he'll be etc. w/what you have planned he'll realize.  Guys in general have no idea of 'bridal chic' of any kind!  It's why WOMEN plan weddings!  My daughter had to 'educate' her fiance lol.  Some people are just 'cookie cutter' people and don't think outside the box, if your fiance is one of those, or your mom, it will be a harder sell.  I'd worry about pleasing your fiance, mom's can contribute but after all, they've already had their chance to plan their wedding (and you can tell yr mom I said so LOL).  You don't know how hard it is for me to keep my planning-itis under control with my daugher's wedding! I bite my tongue, sit on my hands, and snap a rubber band...  yes I am a control freak! I admit it! Find some great photos of weddings that are similar to what you want and SHOW them how pretty it will be and just because formal was in when your mom got married doesn't mean you have to have a cookie cutter wedding to match hers.  Best to u!
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