• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
Moms and Maids

Am I not wanted?

So one of my friends is getting married and she asked me to be bm about a year ago.  The date was set for Oct 6 2011.  Since the time I was asked till now they have had some disagreements, and were on a temporary break, where she continued to plan.
Ok so heres the issue, I was talking to her yesterday and she brought up her wedding and was talking about how they may be doing a destination wedding, but there still flipflopping back and forth.  I then asked her shouldnt you have this figured out since your wedding is in 6 months?  She replaid to that in a snotty tone going you really think I am getting married in 6 months?
I had no idea she switched the date, and she won't tell me the new date, she told me I dont need to worry about it.  This same conversation she got mad at me because the store she wants to get dresses from only carries up to size 7.  Shes mad because I am size 20 and can not try those on.
I guess I am confused on if I am still wanted in her wedding?

Re: Am I not wanted?

  • edited December 2011
     Why dont you ask her? Personallly I  would rather not be in a wedding with someone like that .
    Anniversary
  • michellep1michellep1 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with PP, I'd just straight out ask and avoid any types of games she may be trying to play.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic June 2012 Siggy: Favorite Engagement Picture! Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • vicki0508vicki0508 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I would ask her, too.  Though, maybe she got all defensive about it because they've pushed back the wedding indefinitely?
  • graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    She sounds pretty insensitive. I agree with pps. Flat out ask her if she still wants you to be a BM. If she says no, then I'd count myself lucky to not have to deal with her drama any longer. 
    Photobucket
  • jerseydeviljerseydevil member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I don't think I would want to be in a wedding for some one who thought so little of me that they a) won't tell me what the new date is or that it changed and b) isn't sensitive enough to call stores ahead of time and make sure that they carry enough of a variety of dresses for me to try on.

    And up to size 7? Really? C'mon. Most stores carry a much wider range than that and have samples larger than that.

  • edited December 2011

    Considering the average woman in the US is, I think, a 14, I can't imagine a store that would only carry those sizes. Unless it is that store called like 3,5,7, but I don't think that would be a place to get BM dresses.

    Also, she is totally being a beeatch. I wouldn't ask her any more about the wedding and I would assume you weren't in it. I too would reevaluate the friendship.

    -This is not legal advice- Wedding Countdown Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic larger_image
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_am-not-wanted?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:a8d91464-5604-4860-8966-e4acc96d9fa9Post:39c56eea-4d53-4c3d-8922-9a94e3b57a0e">Re: Am I not wanted?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Considering the average woman in the US is, I think, a 14, I can't imagine a store that would only carry those sizes. Unless it is that store called like 3,5,7, but I don't think that would be a place to get BM dresses. <strong>Also, she is totally being a beeatch. I wouldn't ask her any more about the wedding and I would assume you weren't in it. I too would reevaluate the friendship.</strong>
    Posted by FutureJilliannD[/QUOTE]
    I agree with this 100%.  Assume you're not in it and don't spend any more time on this mess.  I don't even think I'd want to be friends with someone who jerks me around like that and acts that rude towards me. 
  • KateG528KateG528 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_am-not-wanted?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:a8d91464-5604-4860-8966-e4acc96d9fa9Post:ea98262b-7500-4264-b015-d2a558ae0fd5">Re: Am I not wanted?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Am I not wanted? : I agree with this 100%.  Assume you're not in it and don't spend any more time on this mess.  I don't even think I'd want to be friends with someone who jerks me around like that and acts that rude towards me. 
    Posted by marinabreeze[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>I wouldnt even bother asking, I would just distance myself from her and forget the wedding. If she decides she wants you and is willing to be nice and forthcoming about details, then you can reconsider, but until then just assume you are not in the wedding and count your blessings. You deserve better.</div>
    May you never steal, lie or cheat. But if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows. And if you must lie, lie with me all the nights of my life. And if you must cheat then please cheat death because I couldn't live a day without you.


    [url=http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thenest.com/tickers/tt11e760.aspx[/img][/url]
  • edited December 2011
    I would just sit her down and ask her straight forward if she wants you to still be in the wedding. If not, then consider yourself lucky and move on. If she does, then you should really sit down and consider whether or not maintaining your friendship with her is worth the way she treats you. Frankly, I think it's horrible the way she's treating you, and I wouldn't stand for it.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    "Oceana swings from logical to anus punching." - Buttons

    Planning / Married / Blog

  • edited December 2011
    Um...I don't know if I'd care if I were wanted. Although I'd try to be as supportive as possible, I know that would be difficult in a situation where the wedding had been put on hold once already. And then couple that with a touchy bride who doesn't want to give you details...I think I'd let it go until she brings it up again. If you really want to know, you can ask, but I'm just not sure it's worth it.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    April 2013 September Siggy Challenge
    image
    Red Horse Barn, Huntington Beach, CA
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards