Long story short,
I've been having a very difficult time with my FMIL these past months. We've been very close before I ever got engaged, but she's been difficult and uncooperative. She's very inconsistent, she lies about stuff, and is just a lot of work. I don't ask anything of her, but she tries to muscle in and get involved, wedding-related or not. She cries because "no one tells her anything" and if you ask her "who would you like us to invite" she kicks and screams that we're demanding too much. She's going through menopause and has been very emotional and feeling the empty nest, and it's been trying.
because i've talked to FI, he's very supportive and is just trying to make things right. He's been trying so hard and going above and beyond with helping with our move, wedding, my work, my dying grandmother, etc. There was another epside, and he knows I was frustrated, so he tried to talk to her, and he's the nicest person about stuff. She got caught in a lie and so she got defensive and just started saying all sorts of lies and exaggerations, was hysterical about it.
Now she will not speak to him and I feel terrible. He won't tell me what she said about me, but it's not good. I don't care about "winning" the fight with her, she can have it, but I want him to reconcile with her because his happiness means more than this power struggle. I feel like it's my fault--I should've been the one to talk to her, and he's paying the price. This wedding is less than 7 weeks, and I don't have to see her again until then. I told him to go home after we're done talking and just say whatever he needed to to make her feel better. Buy her a "BEST MOM IN THE WORLD" Mug if you have to. They're better, but still bad. She really really hates me now, which I can live with, but it's not a good thing long term.
But i honestly don't know what to do--suck it up and "apologize" just to make her happy and ok with her son or just let her lick her wounds and let her get over it because she's being crazy. I want him to be happy and not be the reason for a falling out, but i don't want to "positively reinforce" her behavior for things in the future. Or is this just something I pretend never happened (because I wasn't there) and see if she brings it up? I don't know how to diplomatically reason with this woman, stand up for myself, and balance FI's happiness.