I guess I really need to unload. I'm sensing that FI is starting to feel dragged down a bit and I don't want to do to him what the situation is doing to me, so...
My sister has been emotionally unstable her entire life. When she had her first son two years ago, something happened hormonally and she shifted from emotionally unstable to suffering from a severe mood disorder and psychosis. It has progressed from bad to worse, and now it is at the point where she has psychotic episodes on a daily basis.
This is taking such a toll on my family and me, and I feel like I'm living through this with her. Just this week, I had to listen to her casually talk about suicide like it was NBD, cry on the phone about whether or not she should go to class, and double over in pain from being violently ill (she is suffering pysical effects from all of this as well).
She is seeing a psychiatrist, a therapist, a gastroenterologist, an ob-gyn, and numerous other specialists to deal with all of the problems she's having. Her doc put her on an antipsychotic that seemed to be well-tolerated in her body, but then last night she suffered the worst event yet. She reacted badly to the medication and was rushed to the hospital with neuroleptic malignant syndrome. Basically, her speech became slurred, her tongue swelled up, and she was temporarily paralyzed.
I'm becoming terrified that this illness will ruin our family. I hate that her sons have to watch her go through this (although we shield them from it as much as possible). Both my stepdad and I had to leave work hours early last night to watch the boys so my mom could take her to the hospital. This was not thefirst time I've had to take personal calls at work or leave work for something like this. I've had to cancel plans with friends. I've stopped going to the gym on Tuesdays because she needs me to come over and watch the boys while she rests. She calls me first thing almost every morning to say she needs me, when can I come over. I feel like I need to be on call 24/7 in case she has an episode. My mom is going through the same thing with her.
So far people have been understanding towards me, our mom, our stepdad, and her husband. But I'm honestly scared that I will lose my job if things like this keep happening. People will only be understanding for so long until they begin to think it's an excuse.
I'm even more terrified about the prospect of her not getting better. I've been convincing myself she is getting better, just to keep my sanity, but I just end up going home and crying every day because aside from FI, she is the most important person in my life, my absolute best friend in the world. She's just falling apart and so am I. It's taken the joy out of everything.
I'm grateful on her behalf that she has people in her life who would do anything for her. I have nightmares about what would happen to her sons if her husband ever left her and she suffered another episode like last night, and absolutely no one in the family could take the kids.
I'm sorry to unleash all of this upon you all. If you read this far, I appreciate it.
CN: Sister is extremely mentally ill. Thoughts and prayers, please. And if anyone has experience dealing with a family member with a mental illness, it would help immensely if you could give me some tips or just share your experience and how you got through it.
