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WWYD? (Semi-long)

So over the weekend, I almost knocked out my cousin B's gf. Mind you I never liked her from the beginning but that is a different story and I was TRYING to be nice to her.

So my younger cousin M is graduating from high school and his party was Sunday. Towards the end of the party, he and he friend's started to try to suck the helium out of the balloons, and in turn began popping them. I HATE balloons. I am terrified of them. (When I was young I had tubes in my ears and everything was 10x louder than normal. I hated birthday parties and would literally sit outside by myself so stay away from balloons. The fear has never gone away.)

BF knows this and yelled across the room for my cousin to stop. Well it's embarrassing enough that I am 23 and afraid of balloons nevermind having your BF yell is across the room in front of your family. Every time they popped a balloon the hair on my neck and back would raise and I had to walk out of the room. So BF and I got into a tiff because he yelled it across the room and I didn't want people to know.

Well B's gf heard the whole fight and knew what we were talking about. She then goes over and grabs a balloon and brings it to the table we are all sitting at.. and POPS IT!!!!!! I freaked out and had to leave without saying bye to anyone. The whole family was worried because they didn't know what happened. Now I am stuck explaining to everyone that I hate balloons and that I wanted to knock her out.

So if you were in my shoes, what would you have done? Would you do damage control now, or let it slide? IDK if I should say something to B or not.
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Re: WWYD? (Semi-long)

  • Elle1036Elle1036
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    edited December 2011
    I told you this already, but I would have physically hurt her.  I'm not joking.

    And yes, I would say something.  If nothing else, view it as doing her a service.  She needs to know that messing with someone's phobia is not only very wrong, but dangerous.  Someday she'll pick the wrong person and she will get seriously hurt.

    Like she should have been the other day.  lol
  • edited December 2011
    Call B and/or M and explain why you are upset and why what B's gf did was wrong. Other than that don't worry about it. Its not your problem if people were upset with you leaving B or M can explain that it was B's gf's fault if anyone asks.
  • edited December 2011
    I would call her up personally, even if you have to get her number from someone to do so. I would explain your phobia and tell her that what she did showed you that she has no compassion as a human being. I would tell her that she was immature and her action was innappropriate and horribly rude. Then I was talk to her BF, and tell him the same thing. Hopefully one of them would be apologetic. If she doesn't, just remember that helium is highly flammable for the next time they are sucking it....

    I get it. I hate fire because I was evacuated from a camp that was about to burn down when I was 5 years old. I had regular nightmares about is for about 20 years.... still do to this day. As a joke one of my friends lit a match and threw it at me. I stumbled backwards, fell on my butt, and started to cry. This happened when I was 19... she still hasn't stopped apologizing.

    I also hate balloons being popped near me, it gives me that rush of anxiety and fear.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: WWYD? (Semi-long):
    I would call her up personally, even if you have to get her number from someone to do so. I would explain your phobia and tell her that what she did showed you that she has no compassion as a human being. I would tell her that she was immature and her action was innappropriate and horribly rude. Then I was talk to her BF, and tell him the same thing. Hopefully one of them would be apologetic.
    Posted by NurseyK
    This!
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  • LizzyTish88LizzyTish88
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies. I am just stuck because I want to not think about it and get over it because I feel people think it's silly and think I'm being ridiculous, but I am seriously terrified.

    At the same time I feel like SOMETHING needs to be said. As if I couldn't stand the biitch before, now I really can't stand her.

    Elle- Thanks, I really should have knocked her out. Maybe I should find out her phobia and do it right in her face.

    BTW the whole situation happened in a matter of 5 mins, so it's not like she could have forgot. This sucks. 

    (It took a lot for me to write this here too ladies, this is something that I don't like to talk about and I don't like people to talk about.)
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  • csousa1csousa1
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    edited December 2011
    Efff her! She sounds obnoxious, I wish you had knocked her out. I would tell her just how obnoxious she is.

    I had a "friend" in college who was more of a forced acquaintance, and she and her roommate thought it was funny to make fun of my clutziness and such. That's fine, everyone does it and I have a very tough skin about it. One day, she was freaking out that a bee was in her bathroom - I told her I would kill it but have to be careful because I am allergic. She started laughing and closed and lcoked the door behind her, leaving me locked in the bathroom with the bee. I am not afraid of bees, but clearly being allergic I was really pissed that she thought that was funny. I stormed out of the bathroom telling her she was an asshole and to kill her own goddamn bee. I hope it stung her.
  • IrishDreamerIrishDreamer
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    edited December 2011
    Cde, *hugs* Don't let irritating biitches get you down girlie.
    I personally have to agree with elle...I would have physically hurt her....but then again...I tend to have a bit of a temper... especially when people do something after being asked not to, particularly when it's in regards to something like that.

    I changed my name legally when i was 18. It was a personal decision and I like who i am now, and my name reflects that... well when people find out what my name used to be, (i don't hide it, and I don't hide the fact that i despise being called it), they use it against me....they will call me it, simply to get a rise out of me.
    It's not quite to the degree of yours, but i get it.

    I would tell your cousin, explain the situation and ask him if he wants to talk to her, or if he wants you to, but that kind of behavior isn't acceptable. You are all adults, and that was a very childish thing to do.

    OOOOOR, me and elle can come out and do some butt-whooping :) :-P J/k.

    Also, I think you are incredibly strong for allowing us in to your "inner" world, and being vulnerable...it's a difficult thing to do. So, rock on :)
  • LizzyTish88LizzyTish88
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    edited December 2011
    One more point to add, her BF, my cousin B is like my twin. We were born 8 days apart and grew up really close. Our family dressed us alike and everything. He is in the Air Force and just came home. He is also obsessed with this girl, so every time I see him, I now see her. Point being, she isn't going away any time soon.
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  • becunning2becunning2
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    edited December 2011
    It's hard to be vulnerable, but I wouldn't have handled the situation as gracefully as you. I can guarantee there would've been loud profanity on my part (though I may have thwarted the urge to be violent), and it would not have been good.

    She's definitely immature, so it's unlikely to get an apology from her.  But explaining in no uncertain terms that acting on a person's phobia is impolite at best and dangerous at worst seems to be a good idea--especially if you're going to have to be around her again in the future.
  • becunning2becunning2
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    edited December 2011
    Oh, and I have a weird phobia too.  I'm TERRIFIED of june bugs. Terrified. I hate them. They're awful.  I think I got one stuck in my hair as a little girl.  Either way, they scare the crap out of me.  I know, rationally, that they're 100% harmless.  It doesn't stop me from being scared of them.  If someone locked me in a room with a june bug, it would not be pretty.

    Heck, it's not pretty when one even just gets in the house.


  • lunarsongbirdlunarsongbird
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    edited December 2011
    AH!! WHAT A B!TCH!!


    I knew someone who was phobic of balloons.

    I'm phobic of people vomitting around me. Not that anyone would probably walk up to me and do that on purpose...but God- if they did. I would probably never speak to them again. And if I had to- we would definitely have a "Coming to Jesus" talk- and I wouldn't accept anything less then a very sincere apology at minimum.
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  • lmwilberlmwilber
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    edited December 2011
    Ok so this girl is a total brat, but honestly, if it is even a little bit obvious that you do not like her, I wouldn't press the issue. Your cousin is obsessed with this girl, so like it or not, he's not going to side with you on this one. (I mean what would your BF do if his close family member called him up to complain about you?) Was this girl wrong? yup. Is she totally immature? double yup. But, would your calling her out in any way change her behavior? Nope. If people know that you are not her biggest fan, its going to turn into even more drama. I would do my best to let it go.
    As for being mad at BF for disclosing the whole balloon fear, I would tell him that you know he was only trying to stand up for you, and that you are sorry you got upset. 
    As for the whole being afraid of balloons, i don't think you have any reason to be ashamed of it, you have a valid reason for your reaction. Keeping it to yourself, being ashamed of it, or acting like its this huge secret actually makes the fear worse. I have a similar fear of clowns (an unfortunate experience with a life size clown doll and the movie "IT"at a very young age.) The more I embrace the fact that they freak me out, the easier it becomes to be rational about why, and the more I can tolerate them. I guess I'm saying that you should worry about being afraid, and you don't owe anyone an explication. 
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  • cu97tigercu97tiger
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    edited December 2011
    cde, I don't think having a fear of balloons popping is in any way 'weird.' There are only two fears that we are born with... falling and loud noises. So you shouldn't worry about people 'knowing' your fear now. If I were you, I would just deal with this one incident with the GF. Call her up, explain to her that it isn't just annoying to you, it's an actual phobia, and that there are real physiological consequences to her actions. 

    Maybe say something about how 'disappointed' you were that she'd exploit your fear like that (people hate to have someone disappointed in them!) and tell her that you'd hope she wouldn't do anything like that to ANYONE ever again. 
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  • edited December 2011
    I would've beat the shiit out of her.  You wouldn't get A & B because it was self defense she she was acutely aware of your phobia.

    And then I would've made a SCENE in front of the entire family about how she intentionally burst a balloon in front of you and what kind of person does that.  I would've made her look like a fool.

    Also, some very not nice, yet applicable, comments about her would be said.  Cuz I'm biitchy like that.
  • desertsundesertsun
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    edited December 2011
    Honestly, when someone so blatantly disrespects you and/or your boundaries, it is completely appropriate to walk away. In fact, that is the best possible response b/c often people who pull shiit like that crave attention and you only give them what they want when you make it a big deal.

    I have to ask...is it possible she wasn't paying attention or didn't hear the fight and wasn't aware of your phobia? Sometimes we get self-conscious and think people are paying attention when they aren't.

    I think it would be a bad idea to make a huge deal out of it if she could reasonably claim to have not heard. Because then it might look like you are just picking a fight, you know?

    I don't think you need to explain to anyone what happened. Just say you weren't feeling well. I think it's an issue that's between you and this girl, and involving a bunch of other people will only create resentment between you and her.

    JMO.

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  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC
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    edited December 2011
    I would have honestly punched her.  Or walked away.  Walking away is the better of the two options.  But I have little self control sometimes....

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  • LizzyTish88LizzyTish88
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: WWYD? (Semi-long):
    Honestly, when someone so blatantly disrespects you and/or your boundaries, it is completely appropriate to walk away. In fact, that is the best possible response b/c often people who pull shiit like that crave attention and you only give them what they want when you make it a big deal. I have to ask...is it possible she wasn't paying attention or didn't hear the fight and wasn't aware of your phobia? Sometimes we get self-conscious and think people are paying attention when they aren't. I think it would be a bad idea to make a huge deal out of it if she could reasonably claim to have not heard. Because then it might look like you are just picking a fight, you know? I don't think you need to explain to anyone what happened. Just say you weren't feeling well. I think it's an issue that's between you and this girl, and involving a bunch of other people will only create resentment between you and her. JMO.
    Posted by desertsun
    I know she heard it because we made eye contact a few times and she was moving her eyes and making facial expressions when BF and I fought. I know she heard.

    I know it would have been a bigger issue if I did make a big deal of it. I am okay with what I did and think that I am just going to have to distance myself from her and not bring it up unless asked by my cousin. Thanks for the input ladies!
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  • edited December 2011
    Wether you do damage control or let it slide, one thing is for sure. If she overheard the conversation, she should've seen that you were upset. Walking up to you to pop a balloon in your face was pretty childish and immature... Sorry girl... :(
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  • MLekathLEENMLekathLEEN
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    edited December 2011
    I probably would have punched the sh!t out of her out of instinct or yelled "WHAT THE FVCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" then walked away. I think you handled it very well. :)
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