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XP: Friend Advice needed

egeurtsegeurts
First Comment First Anniversary
in Chit Chat
 One of my close friends told me this morning in complete secrecy that she and her boyfriend have been seriously talking about marriage and might be getting engaged soon. I know they have talked about the possibility of getting married before, but that was always "after dating for over a year"... as of now they've only been together since September... maybe October, so like, 6 months. I know for a fact that they've never had any serious arguments, they are planning on moving in together this summer but are too afraid to tell his parents. IMO, they're still in their 'honeymoon stage' and all full of lovey dovey feelings. I'm not saying that what they have isn't real, and I know it's not my relationship, but I can't help but feeling that they're moving too fast. 

How can I be happy for my friend? Should I offer her my opinions or keep my mouth shut? And since this is a secret and I'm not allowed to tell anyone of their not-yet-engagement-but-probably-very-soon discussions, I bring it to you, my fellow knotties.
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Re: XP: Friend Advice needed

  • cwaggoner07cwaggoner07 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I agree... let them make their own mistakes (or non-mistakes as it may turn out to be).
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  • blgroutblgrout
    First Comment
    I think it depends on the friendship.  If you guys can truly give each other sane advice without someone going BSC and getting offended by a , then I'd tell her (albeit gently) that you hope she is sure about this because you don't want to see her get hurt/disappointed/whatever, and then shut up about it and be there for her.
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  • smmessingersmmessinger member
    First Comment
    My fi and I only dated for 6 months and got engaged. We have known each other for four years and we parted ways awhile back and met back up Feb or so last year. We got engaged this Christmas and have never faught and we don't fight. We aren't in the lovey dovey faze we are in the we communicate very well faze. So I think your friend will be fine. In the end it's up to her. I think you are a great friend to care but she may feel like you are judging her decision. How long are they waiting to get married? It may be a year or so before they know for sure. We are waiting till June of next year that way we won't really rush into it. 
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  • crnflkgirl75crnflkgirl75
    First Comment
    If there is something you find concerning about him, then I would share your reservations. If not, keep your mouth shut about it.
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  • ccarrion77ccarrion77
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    One of my good friends parents dated 4 months before getting engaged and only had a 6 month engagement and after 32 years the are still one of the happiest couples I know.  I can think of at least 3 or 4 other couples I know with similar stories.  Everyone figures out what the want at different paces.  Don't judge on time, if there's another issue then that's different.  You should try to support her.  It's impossible to understand a relationship you're not in.
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  • MichelleP0514MichelleP0514 member
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    I am glad that me and my fiance had time to slow down and figure some things out before our big day.  That being said, I knew week 1 that I was going to marry him.  I didn't need any more time to figure that part out.  Support your friend and be there for her when the rest of the world tells her it is too soon.  If she is in love, that is amazing, exciting news!  Be her cheerleader.  If you are really concerned, say it once, but make sure to tell her you have her back no matter what she decides.  Don't get caught up in the "shoulds".  In the end, the "shoulds" don't mean too much.
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  • egeurtsegeurts
    First Comment First Anniversary
    Ok, thanks everyone. 
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