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Catholic Weddings

Pre-cana, what was required?

This is my first time posting on this board.  My fiance and I are both Catholic and are getting marriend in April 2012.  During a discussion with one of my friends about precana, his program sound a lot different than what we are going through.  What did you guys have to do?  I am curious about the differences.

Re: Pre-cana, what was required?

  • edited December 2011
    My church's marriage prep is very different. I can't answer your question. But I have one for you. Did you have any difficulty scheduling your wedding between Easter and Pentecost?
  • zannamae1117zannamae1117 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Nope, the church seems to be fine with the fact that we are getting married the week after Easter.  I was kind of surprised.

  • edited December 2011
    For me, we have to meet with the priest 3-4 times.  We already took our FOCCUS test in the first meeting, and will go over it with a married couple in the parish who was assigned to us.  In addition, we have to go to an engaged retreat -- we can do a Fri evening-Sun afternoon one, or all day Sat. 

    We also have to do practical/admin things, like pick out liturgical options (readings, etc), have affadavits signed/notarized saying we're free to marry, and get updated baptismal certificates.

    I also know some priests in my parish/diocese require couples to take an NFP class.  My priest did not mention that, though I am attempting to self-teach through the Taking Control of Your Fertility book. 

    What are you having to do that's so different from your friends?

     

  • edited December 2011
    Thanks. Just curious. I read a canon law book once that basically said you could only get married in the very middle of Ordinary Time. [Made me think, "No wonder there are so many June brides. It's the ONLY time the Church allows!"] I checked with my Priest, and he said that wasn't the case (of course), but I don't remember the actual rules.
  • edited December 2011
    We're getting married April 21 and didn't have any problem with scheduling. Only Easter Lent was noted as a time that we could not schedule our wedding. (21st is two weeks after).  Our "PreCana" is about 5 meetings with the priest, which includes taking the FOCCUS at one of the meetings and an Engaged Encounter weelkend.
  • zannamae1117zannamae1117 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I guess by different I mean a lot more.  I am not complaining about what the church is requiring but I seemed wierd that we had so many more requirements.

    He said that they have to go through 2 full days of prep and that is pretty much it.  Our parish requires an introductory session where the church explains their requirements and we took the FOCUS test, several meetings with the priest, 4-5 meetings with a mentor couple, 5 sessions of NFP, an engaged encounter weekend, and than at least one other meeting with the Father to discuss the mass. I have to say though, I am learning more about my fiance. 
  • lalaith50lalaith50 member
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    edited December 2011
    wow, that does sound like a lot. but hey, I wouldn't mind! the more preparation for your *marriage* (not just the wedding day!) the better!
    FI and I had to take the FOCCUS test, meet with our priest 3-4 times, go to a communication class that was an evening and a morning, and 3-3hours sessions of NFP. (we could have also met with a mentor couple, but we decided not to.)
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  • edited December 2011
    We did our prep at OSUs Newman Center.   We met with the priest there 3-4 times, took the FOCCUS survey (it's not really a test), discussed the results with him,  did a pre-cana day, and that was it there. We got married elsewhere- and by a different priest... so we met with him twice (prob. only really needed to meet with him once), mainly for logistical purposes. 
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  • edited December 2011
    We had an itital meeting with the marriage prep. coordinator, the FOCCUS inventory, a meeting to discuss/review the inventory, a one-day "married life skills" class (the one like EE, about finances, communication, etc.), a one-day God's Plan for a Joy-Filled Marriage class (Theology of the Body-type stuff), a full-course of NFP, plus all of the wedding-planning stuff.

    Even though it is a lot more than some ladies here have had to do, it didn't feel particularly overwhelming or overcumbersome. We enjoyed most of it, though we didn't find it particularly groundbreaking either.

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  • aimee58aimee58 member
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    edited December 2011
    We just had our first meeting with the priest and it seems like our church doesn't do as much. We did an introductory survey with him today and he went through the process with us.

    Complete FOCCUS and go over inventory with a mentor couple.
    Go for a full day or weekend EE conference.
    Meet back with priest 2 times to discuss conference and FOCCUS.
    Logistics meeting.
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  • zannamae1117zannamae1117 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Well it is definitely interesting to see what others doing.  I know that we are glad we do need to go through all of the requirements because it just makes us realize how stong of a relationship we have.  
  • monbon11monbon11 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm getting married in Boston and found vastly different wedding preparation courses depending upon whether the course is offered in the city or the suburbs.   The suburb courses (which require a car and a bit of a drive) were across several weeks or three full 8 hour days.  Surprisingly there is only one prep weekend in the city itself between July and May (!!), so that is the one we selected.

    Once all is said and done, our preparation will be:
    2 meetings with the parish priest (no FOCCUS survey??!!)
    Weekend prep (2 hours Friday after work, 6 hours Saturday)
    2 more meetings with the parish priest for logistics

    I assume that the city parishes must be quite busy and that is why our prep is so light on requirements.
  • edited December 2011
    I am in Toronto, and we have had two meetings so far with the head priest, and we will be completing a weekend retreat in March, and than discussing the mass, readings with the Father after the marriage retreat weekend :)
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  • edited December 2011
    We have 4-5 meetings with the couple who runs marriage prep at campus ministry, the first of which included a survey similar to the FOCCUS.  After that, there is a Saturday retreat. 

    We don't actually meet with a priest for Pre-Cana, since they offer the program to anyone affiliated with the university, not just those of us who are actually getting married here.  Once we've completed the program, it will be about time for the registration process for 2013 dates to open up, and we can begin meeting with a priest to plan the wedding and go over our Pre-Cana experience with him then.

    It's so interesting to see the differences in programs offered.  I wish ours was a little more drawn out, just because I feel like this is very little compared to RCIA, which I went through a couple of years ago.
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