cash bar

lauraroach1 · August 2012

I am wondering if it is appropriate to put "cash bar" on the wedding invitations?

brilibby4 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:265bb0dd-a916-4d06-8080-bcb74c0c2a6aPost:afee8e02-d87f-4450-bb95-285b9b4747fc">cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]I am wondering if it is appropriate to put "cash bar" on the wedding invitations?
Posted by lauraroach1[/QUOTE]

No.

Carson386 · August 2012

Cash bar at the reception = not appropriate

Meegles4 · August 2012

It's not appropriate to host a cash bar etiquette-wise. Guests should not have to open their wallets at your wedding.

This doesn't mean you have to have a huge bar. You can opt to just serve beer/wine, have a signature drink or punch, or have a dry wedding. Just as long as guests aren't paying for anything.

So, to answer your question, no it's not appropriate to put on the invitation.

Maggie0829 · August 2012

No, absolutely not appropriate. In fact, cash bars are rude no matter if they are a regular occurence in your area or not. You should host your guests to the best of your ability. If this means that you can't afford a full open bar then see if you can afford just to serve them beer and wine. If you can't afford that having a dry wedding is completey appropriate.

Having your guests shell out money at any point during your wedding is rude. A reception is a way to thank your guests for attending your ceremony and making them have to pay for a drink is not a great way to thank them is it?

Carson386 · August 2012

Dry receptions are usually cheap. I am having a dry reception and providing water, coffee, tea, 2 punches, and a variety of soda (pepsi products). For 184 guests it was $650. We looked into alcohol and it would've been $3900. The price didn't scare us away but family issues did, and we are getting married in the morning.

lauraroach1 · August 2012

Thanks all for your toughts!

funandfreckles · August 2012

It's not acceptable for you to have a cash bar, period. Nevermind put it on the invitations.

Jlp818 · August 2012

I have been to 10 weddings in the past 4 years and only 3 of them had fully open bars. 5 had semi open bars (first 1 - 2ish hours then cash bar) and 2 cash bars only. My FI and I didn't think it was rude at all for them not to pay for all of our booze all night.

funandfreckles · August 2012

It is rude to have to ask your guests to open their wallet at a wedding.
Cash bars are pretty common in our circle/area, but I'm still utterly annoyed at them. However, I'd rather be able to buy booze than not have it at all.

AdeleDazeem · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:265bb0dd-a916-4d06-8080-bcb74c0c2a6aPost:47eb9786-c3fe-4657-9b24-3779f379273d">Re: cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]I have been to 10 weddings in the past 4 years and only 3 of them had fully open bars. 5 had semi open bars (first 1 - 2ish hours then cash bar) and 2 cash bars only. My FI and I didn't think it was rude at all for them not to pay for all of our booze all night.
Posted by Jlp818[/QUOTE]

That's all well and good, but from an etiquette standpoint, cash bars are not appropriate at weddings.

lauraroach1 · August 2012

Thanks! We are planning on paying for some of the time like before dinner but with 180 people and we are paying for our wedding ourselves we felt it was ok. I just wasnt sure if it needed to be address in the invitation. I wont put on invitations. Thanks!
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:265bb0dd-a916-4d06-8080-bcb74c0c2a6aPost:47eb9786-c3fe-4657-9b24-3779f379273d">Re: cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]I have been to 10 weddings in the past 4 years and only 3 of them had fully open bars. 5 had semi open bars (first 1 - 2ish hours then cash bar) and 2 cash bars only. My FI and I didn't think it was rude at all for them not to pay for all of our booze all night.
Posted by Jlp818[/QUOTE]

tmwishful · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:265bb0dd-a916-4d06-8080-bcb74c0c2a6aPost:61224aa2-9dd9-48c6-b111-61be4b9eb977">Re: cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]It is rude to have to ask your guests to open their wallet at a wedding. Cash bars are pretty common in our circle/area, but I'm still utterly annoyed at them. However, I'd rather be able to buy booze than not have it at all.
Posted by funandfreckles[/QUOTE]

<div>This!</div>

Meegles4 · August 2012

The other ladies can correct me if I'm wrong, but if you are going to break etiquette here and have a cash bar, I'd probably include it either on your wedding website or an invitation insert (maybe if you have a card explaining where the reception will be held). Don't put it on the invitation itself, but somehow let guests know.

Otherwise, I would make assumptions that it's an open bar and would not bring money. Many people don't carry a lot of cash and would come unprepared.

I'd still try to finagle an open bar...even if it's just a partial bar (i.e. beer and wine) for the whole night.

AdeleDazeem · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:265bb0dd-a916-4d06-8080-bcb74c0c2a6aPost:774a9b5f-9115-4c92-800d-b5dce78542f5">Re: cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks! We are planning on paying for some of the time like before dinner but with 180 people and we are paying for our wedding ourselves we felt it was ok. I just wasnt sure if it needed to be address in the invitation. I wont put on invitations. Thanks! In Response to Re: cash bar :
Posted by lauraroach1[/QUOTE]

Glad you found ONE person who said it was okay to have a cash bar and ran with it.

funandfreckles · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:265bb0dd-a916-4d06-8080-bcb74c0c2a6aPost:074a373c-8195-48c7-8bd8-2f759b9066d6">Re: cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: cash bar : Glad you found ONE person who said it was okay to have a cash bar and ran with it.
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

That one person was the OP!

AdeleDazeem · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:265bb0dd-a916-4d06-8080-bcb74c0c2a6aPost:3116ec8e-6cad-43af-92fa-c363c8f5d274">Re: cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: cash bar : That one person was the OP!
Posted by funandfreckles[/QUOTE]

And jlp :-)

brilibby4 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:265bb0dd-a916-4d06-8080-bcb74c0c2a6aPost:074a373c-8195-48c7-8bd8-2f759b9066d6">Re: cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: cash bar : Glad you found ONE person who said it was okay to have a cash bar and ran with it.
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

This.

Jlp818 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:265bb0dd-a916-4d06-8080-bcb74c0c2a6aPost:774a9b5f-9115-4c92-800d-b5dce78542f5">Re: cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks! We are planning on paying for some of the time like before dinner but with 180 people and we are paying for our wedding ourselves we felt it was ok. I just wasnt sure if it needed to be address in the invitation. I wont put on invitations. Thanks! In Response to Re: cash bar :
Posted by lauraroach1[/QUOTE]

If you are having a straight cash bar I believe it is traditional etiquette (if you have already decided to have a cash bar) to put it on the invitations, just so your guests will know what to expect.

AdeleDazeem · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:265bb0dd-a916-4d06-8080-bcb74c0c2a6aPost:1377b4fd-498f-401f-805b-ac0e895e7e30">Re: cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: cash bar : If you are having a straight cash bar I believe it is traditional etiquette (if you have already decided to have a cash bar) to put it on the invitations, just so your guests will know what to expect.
Posted by Jlp818[/QUOTE]

Wtf? No.

Maggie0829 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:265bb0dd-a916-4d06-8080-bcb74c0c2a6aPost:774a9b5f-9115-4c92-800d-b5dce78542f5">Re: cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks! We are planning on paying for some of the time like before dinner but with 180 people and we are paying for our wedding ourselves we felt it was ok. I just wasnt sure if it needed to be address in the invitation. I wont put on invitations. Thanks! In Response to Re: cash bar :
Posted by lauraroach1[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry but hosting a open bar for a short amount of time and then changing it over to a cash bar is still rude. It would be like giving a kid a free ice cream cone only to take it away after a few licks and telling him that if he wants to rest he needs to pay $8 bucks for it.

Either host what you can afford for the entire night OR have a dry wedding. DO NOT make your guests open their wallets for anything. I don't care what is and what is not normal in certain regions, asking your guests to pay for anything is beyond rude.

Summer2011Bride · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:265bb0dd-a916-4d06-8080-bcb74c0c2a6aPost:9fc89902-219a-4f23-bdc9-0540c15d36fc">Re: cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: cash bar : I'm sorry but hosting a open bar for a short amount of time and then changing it over to a cash bar is still rude. It would be like giving a kid a free ice cream cone only to take it away after a few licks and telling him that if he wants to rest he needs to pay $8 bucks for it. Either host what you can afford for the entire night OR have a dry wedding. DO NOT make your guests open their wallets for anything. I don't care what is and what is not normal in certain regions, asking your guests to pay for anything is beyond rude.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

I agree with all of this. I attended a wedding with a time limit on the open bar. First, I doubt it saved the B&G much money because guests lined up to get free alcohol and got 3 or 4 drinks at a time while they were free. Many of those sat untouched and the guests probably wouldn't haven't bothered ordering them later had they still had an open bar.

It also puts guests in a very awkward spot of getting a beer at 630 and it's free, then ordering one at 730 and the bartender asking for money. The guest will probably question it and it will be awkward. Host what you can afford for the ENTIRE night.

ohnoitskaroljo · August 2012

WOW you chicks are SNARKY.

This girl is from the midwest - and cash bars are the standard here in the midwest. I've NEVER been to a wedding where the bar was 100% open bar. They've always been cash bars or semi-open bars with just a selection or two (or a cocktail hour which is why it's called a COCKTAIL HOUR)

It's just tacky to put "cash bar" on the invitation - so you put it on the wedding website instead or let it get spread around by word of mouth.

AdeleDazeem · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:265bb0dd-a916-4d06-8080-bcb74c0c2a6aPost:03e20480-66e3-4166-890c-dda3ae7a0c45">Re: cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]WOW you chicks are SNARKY.
Posted by ohnoitskaroljo[/QUOTE]

Welcome!

ohnoitskaroljo · August 2012

She was asking for advice, not to be skinned alive. This is an etiquette board and yet 90% of you girls have ZERO tact. There's no need to jump down her throat and just go on and on and on about how she's being rude.

tmwishful · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:265bb0dd-a916-4d06-8080-bcb74c0c2a6aPost:9fc89902-219a-4f23-bdc9-0540c15d36fc">Re: cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: cash bar : <strong>I'm sorry but hosting a open bar for a short amount of time and then changing it over to a cash bar is still rude</strong>. It would be like giving a kid a free ice cream cone only to take it away after a few licks and telling him that if he wants to rest he needs to pay $8 bucks for it. Either host what you can afford for the entire night OR have a dry wedding. DO NOT make your guests open their wallets for anything. I don't care what is and what is not normal in certain regions, asking your guests to pay for anything is beyond rude.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

<div>I went to a wedding like this where the first hour was open bar and then turned to cash. So what do you think people did? Filled up in the first hour and were vocal about it. The bride got all snippy "if I hear one more person say they have to double fist beers while they're free....." you get the picture.</div>

ceceibson · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:265bb0dd-a916-4d06-8080-bcb74c0c2a6aPost:03e20480-66e3-4166-890c-dda3ae7a0c45">Re: cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]WOW you chicks are SNARKY. This girl is from the midwest - and cash bars are the standard here in the midwest. I've NEVER been to a wedding where the bar was 100% open bar. They've always been cash bars or semi-open bars with just a selection or two (or a cocktail hour which is why it's called a COCKTAIL HOUR ) It's just tacky to put "cash bar" on the invitation - so you put it on the wedding website instead or let it get spread around by word of mouth.
Posted by ohnoitskaroljo[/QUOTE]

<div>I've lived in the midwest for all but 6 of my 49 years and I've been to maybe 1 or 2 weddings without open bar. Often, they are beer and wine only, sometimes full bar. Cash bars are most certainly not the standard in the midwest.</div><div>
</div><div>This will be my third wedding and I've always had open bars. You figure out a way to pay for it or don't have it. Meaning, host only beer and wine [as luck would have it, my venues for this wedding do not permit hard alcohol so big savings for us!] or have a dry reception.</div><div>
</div><div>I just don't understand the mindset of inviting people to a party then expecting them to pick up some part of the tab. Even worse in the context of a wedding party, where those invited are also paying for gifts, travel, clothing, etc.</div>

ootmother2 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:265bb0dd-a916-4d06-8080-bcb74c0c2a6aPost:96268b8a-0470-41db-8977-b464a7a04cfe">Re: cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]She was asking for advice, not to be skinned alive. This is an etiquette board and yet 90% of you girls have ZERO tact. There's no need to jump down her throat and just go on and on and on about how she's being rude.
Posted by ohnoitskaroljo[/QUOTE]

I've been looking for a new siggie, hmmmmm

hbalien · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:265bb0dd-a916-4d06-8080-bcb74c0c2a6aPost:afee8e02-d87f-4450-bb95-285b9b4747fc">cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]I am wondering if it is appropriate to put "cash bar" on the wedding invitations?
Posted by lauraroach1[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Thinking about this situation, I wrote on our invite, "LImited host bar." We're handing out two poker chips so people can 'cash' them in for a drink.

</div>

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