Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Party
Wedding Party
New Discussion

Groom and MOH Dont get along! SEND HELP ASAP!

ChefturnerChefturner member
First Comment
in Wedding Party
Hello everyone,

This is actually the groom talking for once. I have a serious problem with my Brides MOH. She is rude, pushy, whiny, and worst of all treats and speaks to me with completely disregard and absolutely no respect. She treats me as if she were talking to her own boyfriend and I have had quite enough of it. 

Since I have some experience int he field I agreed to save us some dollars and do most of the planning myself (The leg work I mean). Therefore I am wearing two different hats as both the wedding planner and the groom. I know that as the groom I am not supposed to have a hand in a lot of the decisions that are being made, and quite frankly wish I had that luxury. However as the wedding planner it is my job in order for this wedding to be a successful event to be involved in a large portion of these decisions (i.e. floral, table design, lighting, band, cake... Both my fiance and her mother have fantastic careers that are just blooming (so proud!) However it is hard to get them to think about anything wedding related in a timely fashion. So I am left dealing with her MOH on most things...

What am I to do? Do I bite my lip, do I tell my Bride what has been going on, Do I let her MOH keep speaking to me this way? Any help is much much appreciated! 
Report Reply to Post

Re: Groom and MOH Dont get along! SEND HELP ASAP!

  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited March 2010
    It is up to the bride and groom to plan the wedding.  If you don't want to work with the MOH, don't.  The wedding planning isn't really any of her business.

    You can have a conversation with your FI about not wanting to work with her on the planning, but you need to make sure she understand that you aren't trying to control her friends.  
    Report Reply
  • laurenclaire1386laurenclaire1386
    First Comment
    Talk to your bride. Chances are, she doesn't know MOH is treating you this way. If one of my friends were treating my fiance like dirt, you'd better believe I'd be setting her straight pretty quickly. Either way, I wouldn't say anything to the MOH because all that does is put your bride in the middle, which is a terrible feeling. Just let her know that her MOH is treating you not so nice, and let the bride handle it. I'm sure your fiancee will get to the bottom of why MOH is being nasty to you.
    image
    Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
    Report Reply
  • Licia&WayneLicia&Wayne
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I'm curious as to what you're clashing with the MOH about? Is it all wedding related or do you just not get along in general?

    Because seriously, if it's wedding related, I just wouldn't involve her unless totally necessary. And if she's a total jerk to you, well, the only thing you can do is let her know you don't like being spoken to in that way and would prefer a more civil relationship.
    image
    It's a girl!
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • CTGirl30CTGirl30
    First Comment
    Actually, as the groom you SHOULD have a lot of say in the decisions being made! (Since you are one half of the couple getting married, you know?) Alot of guys aren't particularly interested in some of the wedding planning details but since it's your profession you're probably more interested than many of the fiance's we often hear about. ;-)

    So...it sounds like your bride has left alot of this in your court since she's busy working alot...it's actually not the MOH's job to plan your wedding so she doesn't really need to be involved in all of this stuff.

    I'm suprised your FW hasn't spoken up to her friend about the way she is speaking to you. Does the MOH treat with this way in front of your fiancee? Or does your fiancee not have any idea what's going on?  I think you should have a chat with your FW - let her know you're fine with taking on the majority of the planning details (if you are) since she's working so much but that you're not fine with the disrespect from MOH. It's her friend - give her the chance to address it with MOH. And remind your fiancee that MOH doesn't need to be consulted or involved in the actual planning - you and your wife-to-be make the important decisions on vendors, etc.
    The Bump ate my signature. DD - Apr 2011 DS - expected June 2013
    Report Reply
  • gottahavashortigottahavashorti member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    Talk to your FI about how the MOH is treating you, and don't talk about the wedding with the MOH. 

    The wedding should be planned by the bride and groom, so it's okay that you're the primary planner here.  If you do want to get your FI more involved, narrow down your options and have her decide what she likes and dislikes from those options.  Then she doesn't have to spend time she doesn't have on wedding related decisions, and it sounds like you're more into planning anyhow.
    image

    Planning/Married Biology
    Report Reply
  • lalap69lalap69 member
    First Comment
    As the groom, it actually is your job to plan the wedding.  You're clearly playing a bigger role than a lot of grooms do, but I don't see this as "wearing two hats" anymore than I do when a bride plans her wedding.  It's great that you're taking an active role, but I don't think it's anything special or above and beyond.

    I still don't understand what you're clashing with the MOH over.  What does she have to do with planning the wedding at all?

    Regardless, you need to talk to your FI.  She needs to tell MOH that her help is not required for planning the wedding and that you have it covered.  She also needs to tell MOH that it's not okay for her to treat you like that.  But you and your FI need to stand together on this, or else it's not the MOH that's the problem.


    Planning Our Wedding - Updated 04/11/11
    imageWedding Countdown Ticker
    "If you can't think of something nice to say, don't say something nice" - Stephen Colbert
    Report Reply
  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    I have to say as well that if your FI will not see your side and EVERYONE agrees that the MOH is out of line, there are bigger issues here.


    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards