Wedding Invitations & Paper

Addressing Envelopes

Couple of questions about how to address envelopes, these are groom's parents' i don't know them personally...trying to figure this out on my own

Situation 1: older unmarried couple living together, woman is divorced, still has her ex-husband's last name (Smith)...
Should it be Mr. Brian T and Mrs. Jane Smith or Mr. Brian T & Ms. Jane Smith

Situation 2: Do we use "formal" "Michael" instead of Mike? I thought that was the rule.  Groom's mom gave me a guest list with nicknames; so I filled in the less obvious ones; but there are some where the spelling could go either way (Nicholas or Nikolaus; Laurence or Lawrence?).  If I can't get FMIL to give me the info (I'm going to try), do I wing it or go with the non-formal name.

(As a followup to situation 2; I have a single "Pat"--is it Patrick or Patricia-?!-Just like that SNL skit hahahah.  )

Thanks for your help! I'm really excited, my mom is doing the calligraphy for the invitations and she does such a great job :) they'll be very pretty!!!

Re: Addressing Envelopes

  • I used formal names for the addresses.  If you don't know what the nicknames stand for, my don't you ask your mom and FMIL?  Seems easier than guessing.
  • Be careful with guessing formal names, you may get it wrong.  My uncle's given name is Greg and it annoys him when people say Gregory.
    We ran off to Vegas and got married!
  • PP is correct.  Try to get the formal names.  Those are what should be usedon the invitations.
  • Same, I know a Jenny who's given name is "Jenny" so you couldn't just guess and put "Jennifer" I think should ask and get their formal names, and if you can't then use the name your FMIL gave you as is....
  • Definitely verify and get their formal names.  FIL goes by Joe, but his legal given name is Joey.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • And then there are those who go by "Steve" but who are legally named "Michael".  You want to get the correct names.
  • #1 If you don't know her preference, I'd use Ms. since that's what most divorced women I know go by.

    Traditional etiquette calls for the woman's name to go first, 2 lines, no "and" so:

    Ms. Jane Smith
    Mr. Brian T

    But personally I put the name first of whichever person we knew better.

    #2: Ditto everyone else on the formal names -- be really careful because there's no real way to make an educated guess anymore about people's names. I'd ask your FMIL one more time for the formal name, but if she doesn't give them to you, I'd just go with whatever she sent.
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