I haven't posted here in a while....got married a while back and have just been enjoying marital bliss
with the holidays coming up i've had some uncertainly with regards to dealing with divorced inlaws....this whole territory is new to me, so i thought you girls might have some insight that could help me understand how best to handle some situations that are very new to me.....below are a few examples that i'm trying to figure out how to handle along with the situation in general....
Christmas Gift Budgets for Families:
MIL: $200, SFIL: $100 = $300 total
FIL: $200, SMIL: $100 = $300 total
My mom: $150, My dad: $150 = $300 total
*This was the budget DH gave me. He thought this was fair since he sees us as having three families. Each set of parents gets $300. I think it's unfair that each of his biological parents get $200 while mine only get $150.
Holiday Get Togethers:
Hubby has 3 family get togethers he wants to attend the day of Christmas: breakfast at MIL's, brunch/lunch with his extended family and cousins, and dinner with FIL. I only have 1 family get together I want to attend since my family combined our get togethers to make it easier on DH and me. Hubby suggested we go visit my family that afternoon (they live an hour away).
I feel like it's not fair my family gets 1/4 of the day while his family gets 3/4. I feel like the time should be split more 50/50. I know you won't ever get it exactly half way down the middle, but maybe a bit more halfway.
There's no PC way to say this, but I feel like I'm getting the short end of the stick with regards to budget and allotted family time just because my family isn't all spread out. We go to church and eat lunch every Sunday with my MIL and then eat dinner every Sunday night with FIL. Hubby works with his dad and goes over to his mom's every morning before work to see his dog (MIL adopted his beloved dog bc I'm highly allergic...long story).....thus he sees his parents 6 days/week worst case scenario. I only see my family 2-3 times/month.
Can I get some insight from others in similar situations out there? I want to be sensitive to DH and his family dynamics, but also make sure that I speak up if things aren't being divided up fairly. Thoughts???