Snarky Brides

Is everyone an alcoholic?

I have to vent because this just seems so silly....I keep reading threads where people defend their decision to have a cash bar by saying, I don't wan't to fund people getting crazy drunk (or something like that). 
How is this a reason not to have an open bar?  Do you not think that your friends can control themselves?  Just because an unlimited amount of alcohol is available doesn't mean someone is going to lie down on top of the bar like it is spring break and have the bartender upend a bottle of tequila into their mouth. 

This reasoning just seems ridiculous to me.  To say that someone won't get as drunk because they have to pay for it is asinine.  Have you never seen someone get completely wasted at a bar?  Who is paying for that?  I'm guessing they are paying for it themselves. 

Host what you can afford, but don't use peoples drinking habits as an excuse!  I doubt people are getting your invitation and thinking, yay, Jane and John are getting married so we can get wasted on their dime!!!! 

Also, if you only want or can only afford beer and wine, that's fine too!  But don't say you are doing it just so people don't get drunk.  A little lesson in alcohol, it's not what you drink, it's how much you drink.  Most reasonable adults are not going to go overboard just because someone else is paying for it. 

We have to assume our guests are going to be well behaved... if you think they are going to act like embarassing, overgrown baboons, then maybe you should rethink your choice in friends. 

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Re: Is everyone an alcoholic?

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-alcoholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b3885cf8-e0df-4707-928f-d12bd7de9602Post:d7e3ea98-efa5-4705-a7cf-1b24195060c6">Re: Is everyone an alcoholic?</a>:
    [QUOTE]meg, i think you're going to look damn sexy stumbling around like that! we are having a full open bar from the cocktail party through the afterparty!  I know people are going to get drunk, but they know how to have fun and control themselves.... except the best man, he gets naked when you put a few drinks in him!  i'm going to superglue all the button holes on his tux!
    Posted by Liz4444[/QUOTE]


    I don't know Liz- that depends- is he cute? Maybe he could add to the entertainment!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-alcoholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b3885cf8-e0df-4707-928f-d12bd7de9602Post:b3f3193b-87cb-4cd8-9050-25bfa584d409">Re: Is everyone an alcoholic?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is everyone an alcoholic? : I don't know Liz- that depends- is he cute? Maybe he could add to the entertainment!
    Posted by megandjay[/QUOTE]

    he's cute in a teddybear way, not the stripper kind of way!  not really something we want grandma seeing!
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  • I had an alcoholic tell me I was a hypocrite because they're not invited to my wedding...but I'm having an open bar.

    Alcoholics are fun!

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-alcoholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b3885cf8-e0df-4707-928f-d12bd7de9602Post:9c526a36-5984-4471-90f7-4abfafef92ce">Re: Is everyone an alcoholic?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I had an alcoholic tell me I was a hypocrite because they're not invited to my wedding...but I'm having an open bar. Alcoholics are fun!
    Posted by nyrek[/QUOTE]

    i'm with you, i love a good alchy... but what about you not inviting them makes you a hypocrite?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-alcoholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b3885cf8-e0df-4707-928f-d12bd7de9602Post:0a336e32-a4d8-41cf-9002-d4e0fa5ee4d9">Re: Is everyone an alcoholic?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is everyone an alcoholic? : he's cute in a teddybear way, not the stripper kind of way!  not really something we want grandma seeing!
    Posted by Liz4444[/QUOTE]


    Then I say use super glue and keep the drinks flowing!
  • edited February 2010
    That's why I am not serving food at my wedding, I don't want people to overeat and become obese! I am not funding your live of overindulgence and piggishness!
  • [QUOTE]I doubt people are getting your invitation and thinking, yay, Jane and John are getting married so we can get wasted on their dime!!!!
    Posted by Liz4444[/QUOTE]

    Weeeeell, I wouldn't say it NEVER happens.  And if someone does do this, does that really make them a bad person?  Who are you to judge??
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    "As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-alcoholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b3885cf8-e0df-4707-928f-d12bd7de9602Post:e344f39c-ff50-48fe-87c2-bccc4debc137">Re: Is everyone an alcoholic?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Weeeeell, I wouldn't say it NEVER happens.  And if someone does do this, does that really make them a bad person?  Who are you to judge??
    Posted by _Fenton[/QUOTE]


    if the first thing you think about when receiving a wedding invitation is how wasted you are going to get at the reception, then yes, i would question the validity of that friendship.
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  • Liz...no clue.  They were probably drunk...which is why I found them rather amusing!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-alcoholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b3885cf8-e0df-4707-928f-d12bd7de9602Post:6d1037d4-c8db-4ab9-8a4f-74c1e4da0e2e">Re: Is everyone an alcoholic?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Liz...no clue.  They were probably drunk...which is why I found them rather amusing!
    Posted by nyrek[/QUOTE]

    you should get drunk and ask them, maybe you'll understand them then!  it would be fun regardless!
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  • There may be a few people like Fenton that are excited about using your wedding to get hammered. But one or two guests going nuts on the booze, out of all your guests, isn't going to put you in the poor house if you have an open bar.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-alcoholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b3885cf8-e0df-4707-928f-d12bd7de9602Post:8d197ee0-70f5-4eec-90d1-1595a976129c">Re: Is everyone an alcoholic?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is everyone an alcoholic? : if the first thing you think about when receiving a wedding invitation is how wasted you are going to get at the reception, then yes, i would question the validity of that friendship.
    Posted by Liz4444[/QUOTE]

    What elsethefuck would I be thinking about?  How glorious your bridesmaids will look in their matching lipstick?  I really don't get that excited over my friends' decisions to enter into a legal contract to hump and make babies.
    image
    "As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-alcoholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b3885cf8-e0df-4707-928f-d12bd7de9602Post:6081de06-08e7-4134-81bc-7a945d6a7b60">Is everyone an alcoholic?</a>:
    [QUOTE] I doubt people are getting your invitation and thinking, yay, Jane and John are getting married so we can get wasted on their dime!!!!   
    Posted by Liz4444[/QUOTE]

    I'm pretty sure this is going to be the exact reaction of most of my FI's fraternity brothers when they get invites. 

    Don't get me wrong, I agree with the OP completely.  We're doing a full open bar.  And you're exactly right that the same people would get drunk anyway if they had to pay.  Then they would be pissed off and drunk, instead of just drunk.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-alcoholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b3885cf8-e0df-4707-928f-d12bd7de9602Post:470042d4-2a60-4adb-9eb3-5084ded71307">Re: Is everyone an alcoholic?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is everyone an alcoholic? : What elsethefuck would I be thinking about?  How glorious your bridesmaids will look in their matching lipstick?  I really don't get that excited over my friends' decisions to enter into a legal contract to hump and make babies.
    Posted by _Fenton[/QUOTE]

    wow, if those are your feelings about weddings and marriage, why on earth did you do it?
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  • Fenton sold her soul to devil years ago. We're only friends with her because she scares us. Everyone knows that. Geez. 
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  • Her marriage is just for convenience.
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    "That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
  • She is a giant whore to everyone.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-alcoholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b3885cf8-e0df-4707-928f-d12bd7de9602Post:6604fee2-51dd-48ff-87f4-99885cf4d118">Re: Is everyone an alcoholic?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Is everyone an alcoholic? : I'm pretty sure this is going to be the exact reaction of most of my FI's fraternity brothers when they get invites.  Don't get me wrong, I agree with the OP completely.  We're doing a full open bar.  And you're exactly right that the same people would get drunk anyway if they had to pay.  Then they would be pissed off and drunk, instead of just drunk.
    Posted by SaraAndrew2010[/QUOTE]

    Good thinking! Better to have happy drunks than angry drunks! Even naked drunks are better than angry drunks.
  • We are only getting married cause it's our turn to host an open bar, and this was my parents will pay for it. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-alcoholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b3885cf8-e0df-4707-928f-d12bd7de9602Post:2a5ed366-f809-48ea-84a0-99822f52638e">Re: Is everyone an alcoholic?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is everyone an alcoholic? : Good thinking! Better to have happy drunks than angry drunks! Even naked drunks are better than angry drunks.
    Posted by megandjay[/QUOTE]

    happy drunks are fun!  we are going to have a wedding full of them!  and i say to them... "drink up!"
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-alcoholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b3885cf8-e0df-4707-928f-d12bd7de9602Post:6081de06-08e7-4134-81bc-7a945d6a7b60">Is everyone an alcoholic?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I Just because an unlimited amount of alcohol is available doesn't mean someone is going to lie down on top of the bar like it is spring break and have the bartender upend a bottle of tequila into their mouth. . 
    Posted by Liz4444[/QUOTE]

    I really hope someone does that at my wedding cuz that'd actually be kinda funny... though I'd hate to wet myself in that big white dress... But then my family heard I was getting married and said "Alright time to bust out the Jim Bean and friends in low places record" White trash? Definitely, but the video of someone getting aunt carol to keep her top on will be priceless
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-alcoholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b3885cf8-e0df-4707-928f-d12bd7de9602Post:72502465-7aad-448c-b8e5-2825561927ba">Re: Is everyone an alcoholic?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is everyone an alcoholic? : wow, if those are your feelings about weddings and marriage, why on earth did you do it?
    Posted by Liz4444[/QUOTE]

    Because I was only going to get fatter as I got older and I figured I should make it official while I could still get a hot one.
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    "As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-alcoholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b3885cf8-e0df-4707-928f-d12bd7de9602Post:809adec1-75db-4848-8847-f95e3d9d8e37">Re: Is everyone an alcoholic?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is everyone an alcoholic? : Because I was only going to get fatter as I got older and I figured I should make it official while I could still get a hot one.
    Posted by _Fenton[/QUOTE]

    only reason i can think of that's better than that is to do it for the presents!
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  • Pff I'm goin with a cash bar not becasue im afraid of drunkeness I am embrassing the fact that am broke as hell :D
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  • The entire of my dad's side opf the family are alcoholics in denial, my fahter is a REFORMED alcoholic ( and the most awesome dad in teh universe) my bf's cousin are the biggest alco skanks ever. 

    My fiance and I don't drink, soi we don't want to have an open bar. I would rather spend the money on something else like the flowers or a better meal for my guests. my mother is trying to guilt trip me saying it will make them look bad (I highly doubt it) so she suggest they pay for the open bar. I would prefer her to help pay for the photogrphar or for something that will actually matter in my wedding.

    When people see the photos or hear that its our wedding anniversary, i doubt they will be thinking 'man they were the people that didnt have an open bar'. i'd rather them be thinking oh that was a really lovely and stylish wedding than' s#!t i can't remember anything past their ceremony . . .'

    It's called personal preference, if open bar doesn't suit your lifestyle, your wedding or what you're about then you don't NEED to have it!
  • oh and girl your feet are UGLY, change your pic!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-alcoholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b3885cf8-e0df-4707-928f-d12bd7de9602Post:ecaea973-8fef-4d10-9e31-567287d465f1">Re: Is everyone an alcoholic?</a>:
    [QUOTE]The entire of my dad's side opf the family are alcoholics in denial, my fahter is a REFORMED alcoholic ( and the most awesome dad in teh universe) my bf's cousin are the biggest alco skanks ever.  My fiance and I don't drink, soi we don't want to have an open bar. I would rather spend the money on something else like the flowers or a better meal for my guests. my mother is trying to guilt trip me saying it will make them look bad (I highly doubt it) so she suggest they pay for the open bar. I would prefer her to help pay for the photogrphar or for something that will actually matter in my wedding. When people see the photos or hear that its our wedding anniversary, i doubt they will be thinking 'man they were the people that didnt have an open bar'. i'd rather them be thinking oh that was a really lovely and stylish wedding than' s#!t i can't remember anything past their ceremony . . .' It's called personal preference, if open bar doesn't suit your lifestyle, your wedding or what you're about then you don't NEED to have it!
    Posted by Jackal-Chizstar[/QUOTE]


    I dont think the argument about an open bar is based off of alcoholism.  It has been pointed out that people are going to drink whether you pay for it or not, so unless you are having a dry reception, then you need to host the bar.  The girls on here struggling with open bar problems are because their budget does not allow a full open bar.

    I have a whole bunch of family that are grieving a drunk driving related death and was considering only hosting a few hours, but after the other girls on here pointed out that its not going to stop people from drinking just because I cut off the free booze, I decided to just host the whole night.  They are right.  My budget allows it, so to be a great host, I will do it.

    It will make you look like a bad host if you put all of the money into<em> your</em> stuff (flowers, photographer etc).  The bartenders at these events are experienced and know when to cut people off.  Let them do their job.  If you are still uncomfortable with it, then provide some kind of transportation (cabs, shuttles etc).

    I would reconsider your stance on the whole thing.  You need to do as much as you can to be a good host.  These are your guests and you need to treat them as such.  Beer and wine open bars a very popular.  Maybe that can be a good compromise for you.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-alcoholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b3885cf8-e0df-4707-928f-d12bd7de9602Post:ecaea973-8fef-4d10-9e31-567287d465f1">Re: Is everyone an alcoholic?</a>:
    [QUOTE]When people see the photos or hear that its our wedding anniversary, i doubt they will be thinking 'man they were the people that didnt have an open bar'. i'd rather them be thinking oh that was a really lovely and stylish wedding than' s#!t i can't remember anything past their ceremony . . .'
    Posted by Jackal-Chizstar[/QUOTE]

    I'm sure it's a lost cause to debate someone who thinks their first day of marriage falls a month after their wedding day, but I'll try nonetheless.
    No one is going to care about your photos but you.  Oh sure, they'll smile and say how lovely they look, but they don't care.  They don't care if your wedding is "stylish" either.  They want to have a good time.  And they want to support your union.  You reward them for sitting through a half hour of boring ceremony by providing a reception to party down.  Supplying alcohol is part of that.  I don't drink and my husband does rarely, but we still supplied booze for our guests.  It's part of being a good host.  People are going to remember the good time they had at your wedding and not that your centerpieces were stylish or your photos were top notch.
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  • edited February 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-alcoholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b3885cf8-e0df-4707-928f-d12bd7de9602Post:ecaea973-8fef-4d10-9e31-567287d465f1">Re: Is everyone an alcoholic?</a>:
    [QUOTE]The entire of my dad's side opf the family are alcoholics in denial, my fahter is a REFORMED alcoholic ( and the most awesome dad in teh universe) my bf's cousin are the biggest alco skanks ever.  My fiance and I don't drink, soi we don't want to have an open bar. I would rather spend the money on something else like the flowers or a better meal for my guests. my mother is trying to guilt trip me saying it will make them look bad (I highly doubt it) so she suggest they pay for the open bar. I would prefer her to help pay for the photogrphar or for something that will actually matter in my wedding. When people see the photos or hear that its our wedding anniversary, i doubt they will be thinking 'man they were the people that didnt have an open bar'. i'd rather them be thinking oh that was a really lovely and stylish wedding than' s#!t i can't remember anything past their ceremony . . .' It's called personal preference, if open bar doesn't suit your lifestyle, your wedding or what you're about then you don't NEED to have it!
    Posted by Jackal-Chizstar[/QUOTE]

    you obviously aren't smart enough to understand the point of my post so i will spell it out for you.  you do not need to have an open bar.  if you would like to have the option of alcohol at your wedding then you pay for it.  do not ask your guests to pay for anything at your wedding. 

    was that clear enough for you?
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