Wedding Etiquette Forum

I just got called to the boss's "office"

She told me that while I handle our idiot customers well, I vent too "vocally" about them when I get off the phone.  I'm supposed to find another way to handle my stress and/or frustration.

I'm really upset, because I don't even know why this is a big deal.  I don't scream, I don't throw things, I just make a sarcastic comment.  So, apparently, even when someone is an a-hole to me, I'm supposed to just hang up and sit quietly at my desk.

She also told me her son had some funny suggestions for me... um, great, so you talk to your family about me, and that I am apparently doing a crappy job of venting? 

I don't know if there's a point to this, but I guess if you want you can give me some suggestions on how to handle being frustrated without "vocalizing" it.
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Re: I just got called to the boss's "office"

  • Take up drinking?

  • I, for one, am SHOCKED that you would be sarcastic.

    SHOCKED, I tell ya.
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  • I already do that!  Just not at work... yet.
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  • Write your frustrations down. Eventually you'll have enough good ones to write an awesome book!

    No, really, I don't know. And that's really damn unprofessional of her to chide you for your reactions if she's sharing that stuff with her family.
  • Vent here! At the end of the day, have an "All the sarcastic things I wanted to say today" post. I'm sure it'd be entertaining for us and we won't call you to our office!
  • Wow, that's kind of biitchy.  I hate it when bosses overstep their boundaries.  I would be like, "Well, I have some suggestions for you..."
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  • I'd like to hear her son's suggestions.

    Nose picking?

    Dart board?

    Bubble popping?

    Throw shoes around?

    Naw, I get what she's saying. When one person is sarcastic, it impacts everyone in the office, but she didn't go about telling you that very professionally and it's lame that she was talking to her son about you. And I'm not even sure if she can do that...can she?


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  • That sucks. I don't have any suggetions for you because I dont handle hiding my frustrations well at all. I probably drop the f bomb too much in my office.

    Can you get a voodoo doll and use it whenever your boss or a customer frustrates you?

    In all seriousness, my old boss told me I was too emotional in public and when I would get worked up I should take a walk. At least when you're taking a walk people can't hear you scream about how stupid they are. :-/
  • She's a great boss, and I really like her, but I'm just... I'm kind of shocked.  In 4 years here, this is the first time she's ever called me out on anything.  I mean, for goodness sake, I sit on here all day and I watch YouTube.  I talk to my mom for 20 minutes in the morning... surely there are worse things I'm doing than making sarcastic comments.

    I think she was suggesting that I'm bringing down the morale of the team with all my biitching.
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  • chew gum - and smack and pop it really loud each time you want to say something sarcastic.  Your coworkers will hate that so much and your response will be to let you have your words back! 
  • If it's out of character for her, I'm guessing maybe someone else in your office said something to her, and she needed to address it with you because of that.
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  • I thnk I'd annoy myself too much with that, stack!  ;)

    I feel like I'm going to have to be really careful with what I say now... boss sits 2 cubes down and I forget that she can hear me sometimes.

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  • Hi Kiki :)  I'm a call mentor in a customer service call center, and this is one of the things I have to coach my associates on.  So, I'll start by explaining why we coach "away" from off the phone venting...it's just crap for morale.  When one person complains, then another person does, then another person does...etc.  Most of the people here hate their jobs, anyway, so I don't think the venting makes that big of a difference, but they pay me to make it stop.  I get that what I do for a living is comical, because I'm a pessimistic a$$hole pretty much all of the time.  I don't always buy into what I have to correct in others...but it's my job, and I'm good at faking it.  Anyway, here are some things that work for my associates (and me...I hate clients):
    1) Put a mirror on your desk.  Express your frustration silently by rolling your eyes and giving the mirror the finger.  Sometimes it's helpful to pretend you've just made a noose and hung yourself.  This is my own personal fix.
    2) Deep breathing, or some crap.  I don't do it, but apparently it works for some.
    3) Keep a notepad next to your phone upon which you write absolutely horrendous things about the people who are creating stress.  Best to hide this so CWs don't happen upon it and think it's about them. 
    4) Take up smoking.  This is the same concept as deep breathing, but with more lethal repercussions.
    5) Voodoo doll.  In all seriousness, they have wee voodoo dolls at places like Spencer's and I find it very satisfying to repeatedly stab mine when dealing with idiots. 
    6) Pretend, at all times, that you are on a reality tv show.  It is surprising to see how well you behave when you are under the impression that the whole reality tv loving world is watching. 
    7) You could just bitch about your clients on the internet. I'd be happy to swap client service hell stories all day long. 
  • Who do you think the rat was that told on you?  Maybe it'll make you feel better if you start shooting rubberbands at the ceiling so they fall in their cubicle. 

    OR - my personal favorite.  Call the fax machine and transfer it to him at the same times every single day.  I once made a woman sooooooo mad doing that.  It was hilarious. 
  • I know how you feel Kiki and I would guess the same as FIsh, that it was someone else who complained, but she had to address it.  I've gotten talks about my "attitude" as well and I know it's not the office manager who has a problem, she's just the one who has to deliver the talking to.
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  • I can see where she's coming from, in a way. There are a couple people here who constantly bitch about stuff and it brings the entire office down. They have no problem dropping f-bombs on how crappy something is, or how much they hate this place. It seriosuly kills office morale and I have no problem when the boss tells them to can it.

    But a sarcastic comment here and there, mostly to yourself? Not a big deal. And the fact that she talked about you to her family would really piss me off. I like the idea of writing them all down, it would make a great journal of sorts to look back on.
  • Thanks, Mel!  I think I'll pass on taking up smoking, but I might try some of the other stuff.  It's just hard because that IS my vent... and I don't vent all over the office.  Our cubes are arranged in an L shape, and I'm near the end of the long part... so there's two empty cubes behind me, 1 person in front of me, then my boss, who is in the bend of the L.  That means only that 1 person and my boss can hear me.

    So, if someone complained, it had to be that 1 person.  I might start slipping dead fish under the cube wall between us.  Or maybe farting into the cracks.
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  • I think writing the things down in a journal would be great.  Definitely book material!  Everyone can relate to dealing with morons from time to time.
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  • I agree with PPs.  Vent here!  At least then you'll be simultaneously entertaining us!
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  • Have you seen the site, NotAlwaysRight.com?

    Might make you feel better to read other people's idiocy?
    http://notalwaysright.com/
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  • kikibabykikibaby member
    5000 Comments
    edited November 2010
    It's just that most of the people I talk to are SO stupid, and they get angry with me because they don't understand things.  I seriously had to explain to a lady for 10 minutes the other day the difference between 2009 and 2010.  She kept insisting that she moved in to her house December of 2010 and so she shouldn't have to pay her bill, which was dated November, 2010.  I got off the phone and asked if  maybe the lady had breached a time-space continuum and I was unaware.
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  • How frustrating. If you were saying this to other people, I'd agree on the bringing down morale possibility, but it seems a little over the top to say that because your personal office space isn't totally closed-off, you can't talk to yourself.
  • Maybe the boss has heard you and nobody tattled?

    I wouldn't recommend taking up smoking. /two cents
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_just-got-called-bosss-office?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5ae066a3-f92d-4f35-83e0-be08bba94c56Post:a740a3ee-91a6-4db8-833c-ef3edaf3c786">Re: I just got called to the boss's "office"</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's just that most of the people I talk to are SO stupid, and they get angry with me because they don't understand things.  <strong>I seriously had to explain to a lady for 10 minutes the other day the difference between 2009 and 2010.</strong> <strong> She kept insisting that she moved in to her house December of 2010 and so she shouldn't have to pay her bill, which was dated November, 2010. </strong> I got off the phone and asked if  maybe the lady had breached a time-space continuum and I was unaware.
    Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

    Ok, see now I'm voting for writing down all your vents - I would definitely pay money to read a book about stuff THAT stupid.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_just-got-called-bosss-office?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5ae066a3-f92d-4f35-83e0-be08bba94c56Post:b7814b0a-a715-4794-875a-dcd4cee17efc">Re: I just got called to the boss's "office"</a>:
    [QUOTE]Have you seen the site, NotAlwaysRight.com? Might make you feel better to read other people's idiocy? <a href="http://notalwaysright.com/" rel="nofollow">http://notalwaysright.com/</a>
    Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

    That site makes me want to throw myself or others off a bridge every time I read it, lol.
  • Notalwaysright.com is funny... but I can't laugh most of the time because I'm like "Oh god, I KNOW!"
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_just-got-called-bosss-office?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5ae066a3-f92d-4f35-83e0-be08bba94c56Post:a740a3ee-91a6-4db8-833c-ef3edaf3c786">Re: I just got called to the boss's "office"</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's just that most of the people I talk to are SO stupid, and they get angry with me because they don't understand things.  I seriously had to explain to a lady for 10 minutes the other day the difference between 2009 and 2010.  She kept insisting that she moved in to her house December of 2010 and so she shouldn't have to pay her bill, which was dated November, 2010.  I got off the phone and asked if  maybe the lady had breached a time-space continuum and I was unaware.
    Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

    I don't know, I can see where your boss is coming from.  I've worked in cubicles and truly, it is annoying to hear every single thing someone says and does in their cube.  I mean, your story is funny and your comment is funny, but if you  do it all the time after almost every phone call, I'm sure it gets old to the people around you.    The guy in the cubicle next to me, before I moved to an office, would always laugh to himself or talk to himself about work, and it got really old and annoying. 

    As far as her talking to her son about you, I don't see the big deal.  I talk to my H about work and my co-workers if it's something funny or big that I have to deal with.  Don't you talk to your H about your co-workers or boss sometimes?  I'm sure it was the same thing for your boss.

    I think writing things down or making faces or whatever or even the voodoo doll is a good idea!
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  • I let my girls vent all they want as long as no customers hear them. what? Are they supposed to bottle t all up until they go postal or walk out on the job'?
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  • kikibabykikibaby member
    5000 Comments
    edited November 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_just-got-called-bosss-office?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5ae066a3-f92d-4f35-83e0-be08bba94c56Post:ecd4f906-c42e-4b0a-8d85-38855f79b0f7">Re: I just got called to the boss's "office"</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I just got called to the boss's "office" : I don't know, I can see where your boss is coming from.  I've worked in cubicles and truly, it is annoying to hear every single thing someone says and does in their cube.  I mean, your story is funny and your comment is funny, but if you  do it all the time after almost every phone call, I'm sure it gets old to the people around you.    The guy in the cubicle next to me, before I moved to an office, would always laugh to himself or talk to himself about work, and it got really old and annoying.  As far as her talking to her son about you, I don't see the big deal.  I talk to my H about work and my co-workers if it's something funny or big that I have to deal with.  Don't you talk to your H about your co-workers or boss sometimes?  I'm sure it was the same thing for your boss. I think writing things down or making faces or whatever or even the voodoo doll is a good idea!
    Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

    I'm not making comments all day long... we're not a super busy office.  I get maybe 15-20 calls a day, so even if a full half of those are idiots, I'm only make at most 10 comments in a 9 hour period. 

    And yeah, I talk to my H about work stuff, but I'm not a supervisor and I don't come in and say "So, co-worker, my husband thinks you should handle this account like this..."
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_just-got-called-bosss-office?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5ae066a3-f92d-4f35-83e0-be08bba94c56Post:0249c8c6-11bb-4cd1-a70e-7bb5e61c770c">Re: I just got called to the boss's "office"</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I just got called to the boss's "office" :  And yeah, I talk to my H about work stuff, but I'm not a supervisor and I don't come in and say "So, co-worker, my husband thinks you should handle this account like this..."
    Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]


    Oh yeah, her actually telling you what her son said and suggested is weird and inappropriate, but not the fact that she talked to him about you.
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