Slim him down?

stacybean · November 2011

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 7 months. During that time he has gained quite a bit of weight, like 20+ pounds. I bake a lot of goodies and we go out to eat a lot and he has no censor on what he will put into his mouth or order at a restaurant. It's always steak with extra ranch/sauce, fries, beer, soda, the biggest sized coffees with whipped cream, etc.

I go to the gym almost daily, and he doesn't work out at all. Because I go in the morning, he would hit rush hour traffic if he were to try to go with me and then have to drive back home. He has talked about plans to start working out with me when we move in together but this won't be for another 3ish months... any ideas on how to get that started sooner?
I look back at photos of us from months ago and he was so much more attractive to me. $:\$ I'm not saying that I love him any less, he's the love of my life, but I really just wish he would care about his health and take better care of himself...
Would love suggestions!

anna.oskar · December 2011

Very few people have the kind of relationship that can remain healthy and happy with one partner telling the other that they are not attractive.

I'm sure that if i gained a significant amount of weight in a short time that I'd be aware of it and I'm fairly sure that the OP's BF is indeed aware. Perhaps he's even depressed about it and deals with it by eating more. It's a terrible cycle that does not just affect women.

I agree that keeping it to yourself is the best overall, but that expressing concern for his health may be an acceptable way to approach the topic. My H eats what I prepare for meals and I'm fairly confident that he gets a healthy diet normally. But I know I have no direct control over his habits. I had a recent post discussing his post-meal snacking habits. He's gained a bit of weight and came to me about his concern. I assure you that I find him just as attractive and love him even more since he feels comfortable enough to talk to me about something that is bothering him. I never would negatively discuss his weight.

i might be the complete weirdo here, but I love my husband and find him sexy and attractive because I love him and he loves me. He supports me in every endeavor, tells me i'm pretty even when I feel bloated and gross, and is my rock. That's sexy to me.

I concentrate on the positives. Every day. If he's looking like he's losing weight, I mention it with a "Way to go! Aren't you looking sexy!". I tell him how amazing he is every day. I never lie. I think my H has learned to read between the lines by now. If I haven't flattered him in a few days, I notice he starts to make healthier choices on his own. As if he's seeking out ways to get approval of some sort. He's one of those guys who doesn't notice weight gain or loss until it affects which notch he wears his belt on.

So I've been rambling.

Essentially OP: Just love him. Don't hurt him. Guide him toward healthy choices because you want him around for a long, long, time. Don't force it down his throat lest he resent it and it backfires. Concentrate on the positives.

J&K10910 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_getting-shape_slim-him-down?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:238Discussion:7c10804e-6486-4e9f-a3b3-2d619aa96967Post:ed04f9fe-b024-4eb8-842e-3dd13ef2f6e0">Re: Slim him down?</a>:
[QUOTE]Very few people have the kind of relationship that can remain healthy and happy with one partner telling the other that they are not attractive. I'm sure that if i gained a significant amount of weight in a short time that I'd be aware of it and I'm fairly sure that the OP's BF is indeed aware. Perhaps he's even depressed about it and deals with it by eating more. It's a terrible cycle that does not just affect women. I agree that keeping it to yourself is the best overall, but that expressing concern for his health may be an acceptable way to approach the topic. My H eats what I prepare for meals and I'm fairly confident that he gets a healthy diet normally. But I know I have no direct control over his habits. I had a recent post discussing his post-meal snacking habits. He's gained a bit of weight and came to me about his concern. I assure you that I find him just as attractive and love him even more since he feels comfortable enough to talk to me about something that is bothering him. I never would negatively discuss his weight. i might be the complete weirdo here, but I love my husband and find him sexy and attractive because I love him and he loves me. He supports me in every endeavor, tells me i'm pretty even when I feel bloated and gross, and is my rock. That's sexy to me. I concentrate on the positives. Every day. If he's looking like he's losing weight, I mention it with a "Way to go! Aren't you looking sexy!". I tell him how amazing he is every day. I never lie. I think my H has learned to read between the lines by now. If I haven't flattered him in a few days, I notice he starts to make healthier choices on his own. As if he's seeking out ways to get approval of some sort. He's one of those guys who doesn't notice weight gain or loss until it affects which notch he wears his belt on. So I've been rambling. Essentially OP: Just love him. Don't hurt him. Guide him toward healthy choices because you want him around for a long, long, time. Don't force it down his throat lest he resent it and it backfires. Concentrate on the positives.
Posted by anna.oskar[/QUOTE]

*like*

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