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Moms and Maids

FMIL and Wedding Dress

I really wanted to involve my FMIL in wedding dress shopping, since she does not have any daughters and I'm pretty close to her. I mentioned this to her, though nothing was set up, because I did not really expect to go dress shoping until later this summer.  On a whim I popped into a bridal shop yesterday (its a charity shop in NYC), not thinking I'd find the dress of my dreams. Due to the fact that the store carries donations and nothing is made to order, I bought the dress. It was very low key, I must have tried on 4 max and that was it.  I do not feel like she missed out on much of an experience, but I still feel bad because I wanted to incorporate her.  I still haven't told her I got a dress.  I will the next time I see her.  But are there any other things I could do to incorporate her that would be just as special?  I'd like to propose something when I tell her about the dress.

Re: FMIL and Wedding Dress

  • KateG528KateG528 member
    edited December 2011
    Explain to her that the dress was a really good deal and you wanted to buy it before it was gone. There are many other things she can come do such as shop for bridesmaid dresses with you and your girls or help with picking decorations or flowers.  Just make her feel involved all around. Its so nice you have a good relationship with your FMIL. I see so many posts about "MY FMIL Is EVIL" or whatnot :) 
    May you never steal, lie or cheat. But if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows. And if you must lie, lie with me all the nights of my life. And if you must cheat then please cheat death because I couldn't live a day without you.

  • vicki0508vicki0508 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    You could invite her to some of your fittings.
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    You could model the dress for her at her house. I think she'll understand that you found a great bargain.
  • edited December 2011
    Don't feel bad, you founf the dress you wanted so you should be relieved! I understand what you mean though. Maybe there are some other things you could include her in, like picking out the accessories for your dress, picking out the reception sites, etc. I'm sure she will be happy foy you, and if she is disapointed than you should just tell her, like other posters said, that it was a really good deal but you will include her in other things. Good luck and congrats!Wink
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  • edited December 2011
    ps. props for you for involving your FMIL. you are a better person than me.....Undecided
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  • mandi921vhmandi921vh member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_fmil-wedding-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:69e6d5ed-7bc1-4593-973d-07b34642ec08Post:57ae89ab-ef95-4ec9-ab66-c3ccf2608b8a">Re: FMIL and Wedding Dress</a>:
    [QUOTE]You could model the dress for her at her house. I think she'll understand that you found a great bargain.
    Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]

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  • kimberlygokimberlygo member
    edited December 2011

    My fiance ended up spilling the beans before I could speak to my FMIL.  He said she seemed kind of dissapointed, but understod.  I sent her some pictures of the dress and let her know that I'd love for her to be involved with other things like fittings, accessories and flowers. I even invited her to go shopping with me and my mom when we look for her dress further down the road (a daughter and mothers shopping trip!).  My finance put it into perspective though. The dress is important, but because we have a good relationship there are so many other milestones to look forward to... like spending time with grandkids... yikes...

  • edited December 2011
    i have the same situation. when i tried on dresses she wasnt there. I just explained to her that i wanted it to be just as much of a  suprise to her, and the whole family as it should be for the groom
  • kitc101kitc101 member
    edited December 2011
    That is very sweet that you want to involve your FMIL in your wedding planning! I tried to do that with mine- that was a mistake. She's been very negative throughout the entire process (even asking me if I was going to wear a 'corset or lose some weight' before the wedding- I'm not a big girl, I wear a 6/8, and I feel that was an extremely rude remark). I just smile and then go home later and whine about it to my fiance lol...

    I agree that asking her to join in your fittings or helping you choose accessories would be a great way to involve her in your wedding day look :-)

    Happy planning!
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